Celtic “May Have Assassinated Prince” To Make Ibrox Five Ineligible: An Exclusive By Keith Jackass.
Tonight, this journalist can exclusively reveal that the Metropolitan Police are “looking into claims” that sources connected to Celtic might have “conspired to cause the death” of the Duke of Edinburgh in order to have this week’s cup game postponed, and in the process possibly rule out the inclusion of the so-called Ibrox Five in the match.
This allegation proves beyond doubt that Celtic is an evil club hell-bent on victory, no matter what the cost.
Even if the central charge itself proves to be false there is no doubt that it’s the kind of thing that people inside Parkhead would have liked to do, to give themselves a greater chance to win the match, and that’s good enough for my editors.
Additionally, it comes as Scottish football takes the collective decision to presume guilt first and to ask for evidence later, something that makes Celtic’s position here extremely precarious.
We spoke to a source inside the British state, a man who would only let us call him Sir David, who talked us through a plausible scenario.
“First, it would have taken money,” he told us. “Not my kind of money, which is mostly bank loans and overdrafts, but actual real money. And without the benefits of a tax scam. So it would have been difficult, but the Vatican has deep pockets and a historical grievance against the monarchy. They would have had to bribe a lot of people, people with access to the Prince. But some of them would have been Celtic minded anyway, and willing to work without a fee.
“Next it would have taken just the right set of conditions; he was in poor health, so it might not have taken much. And although the hospital had given him the all-clear you have to wonder if they weren’t up to their necks in this as well. This Unseen Hand has a lot of fingers and it can reach places you really wouldn’t believe. Look what happened to me in front of the Supreme Court …
“So the actual murder, they could easily have done it and got away with it.
“Then they would have needed placemen in the media to bury any suggestion of foul play … and of course, allies in the police force, the intelligence services and in the Palace itself … but I know they could have done it; they got Rangers ‘relegated’ after all, and that should never have been allowed but it was, and they did it and took over the whole game.
“Then they needed to make sure the funeral was scheduled for just the right day, at just the right time, and for the governing bodies to decide that football shouldn’t be played during it. That’s easy in Scotland as they still run things behind the scenes … it would have been harder in England, and to have had them synchronise these announcements … well that’s how powerful they are.”
When I asked him how, after being able to do all that, the conspiracy managed only to have the game postponed for 24 hours, he hung up the phone, but this writer believes that he made a wholly credible case that requires some form of investigating.
Celtic clearly had the means and the motive to do this.
Sir David is right that they could easily have created the opportunity; Scottish football must look into this allegation immediately and throw the book at all involved.
The club is without a permanent manager, but it’s clear they would have had to discuss this with their candidates; all should now be banned.
Dominic McKay, who would surely have been involved if there was a shred of evidence that anything remotely like this had actually happened, must be told that he cannot hold a senior post in the game, because evidence or not the charge is so serious that the governing bodies cannot be seen not to act, unless the allegation involves health protocols, and Ibrox.
In addition to this, Police Scotland say they cannot rule out the possibilty that the fireworks let off at Celtic Park at the weekend were the signal for the board to start Phase Two of the operation, which was to begin putting pressure on the TV companies over the date of the game.
We contacted Celtic for comment, but the person who answered the phone put it down when he heard me slurring my words.
When I called the chief executive he listened to me in silence but would not deny the central thrust of the story.
“When you run out of vodka you’re supposed to wait till the shops open, not start drinking the floor cleaner,” he said, before he hung up on me as well.