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Mason Helps Secure Three Points At Ibrox: An Exclusive By Keith Jackass.

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Mason Helps Secure Three Points At Ibrox: An Exclusive By Keith Jackass.

Today at Ibrox, the home team secured a narrow victory against Hibs.

The man of the match was a strange character, not mentioned on the official team-sheets, but this writer can exclusively reveal that he was a trialist for the home team going under the name A Mason.

Mason certainly had a major impact on the game, securing the red carding of Hibs defender Ryan Porteous before the half hour mark, with the away team a goal to the good.

Mason’s brother, who had played a part in Celtic’s game at Pittodrie, where he was instrumental in breaking up much of the away side’s momentum, was unable to attend the match, but he was kept up to date via his mobile and he must have been proud of his sibling’s display.

The Mason at Ibrox was also highly effective; had it not been for him the home side would not have had such leeway in the 50/50 challenges that often determine who will win these games. At full time, Steven Gerrard was positively beaming at his contribution.

“I thought he was brilliant,” the manager said. “This game would have had a very different outcome had he not been available for us this afternoon.” When asked if it perhaps violated the laws of the game to have 12 men on the park Gerrard was bullish. “They got a man sent off, that’s the reason we had the numerical advantage,” he said.

We contacted someone at Celtic for their opinion on the game. A club insider, who would only let us call him Angelo, was far from impressed. “Mate, everyone knows this is cheating. Everyone knows this wouldn’t fly in Australian football where they insist on only having eleven men on each side. There’s no other way to put it, this was a bloody disgrace.”

A Celtic official later clarified his remarks; “What the manager meant to say, of course, is that Celtic is happy with the standard of refereeing, and we have no complaint to make about either the officials or the structure of the SFA.”

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3 comments

  • Bigeal says:

    The only people who can stop this insanity are Celtic, but for that to happen someone would need to grow a pair, given that no one on the Celtic board stands up to pee I don’t see it happening any day soon

  • HelpMordorPolis says:

    I’d say a corrupt cabal mostly from Lanarkshire milking the Scottish game was newsworthy.
    Is there an Aberdonian, Dundonian, an East Coaster or any man from Perthshire consistently refereeing our game at the top level?

  • Dora says:

    Once again, wangers footy klub get that beloved ‘get out of jail card’, the more one views, the more shocking that red is…dropped points from sevco footy klub would have been a game changer so fk the skum refs and fk that new klub too

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