Chris Jack’s Take On The Gerrard Story Is Hilarious, Awful And Hopelessly Biased.

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Remember when we were being told that Brendan Rodgers, in spite of his professed love for Celtic, would take the first major job in England that came along?

With him and Martin O’Neill before him it was a constant drone in the background, always there and irritating enough to give you an itch.

In Rodgers case it turned out to be accurate, but then there were mitigating factors there not least of which was his rampant ego and that of Lawwell clashing.

Today’s Evening Times article – by Chris Jack of course – on why Gerrard won’t wind up at Newcastle is preposterous.

Hilarious, awful and hopelessly biased, it is sheer fantasy land stuff which pays no heed to even the basic tenants of reality.

Gerrard will win up at Anfield. As manager, presumably. Via the Premier League. Believe it or not, this might be the most realistic segment of the whole piece and anyone who thinks about properly for two seconds knows that it’s simply ridiculous.

It is a rare talent to write an article that gets everything wrong; in a way we should be telling Jack to take a bow, for a truly remarkable piece of sheer nonsense.

The basic premise of the piece that Gerrard wouldn’t go to Newcastle.

Because he has no interest in enhancing his personal wealth.

And he has no interest in spending unlimited funds.

Because there is no job security at St James’.

And because he loves his current job.

But will leave. Eventually. For a club in England.

Just not one owned by a sheik presumably.

“He could, of course, decide that domination is a driving factor and the chance to prolong Rangers’ success will surely motivate a man who spent his entire playing career striving for his next goal, victory or medal,” says Jack, apparently not realising that Gerrard never won a title as a player and has one success in nine as a boss so far.

But the prospect of winning the Scottish Cup might stop him wanting a crack at the EPL with unlimited funds.

At a provincial club.

Which would guarantee him at least an outside chance of Anfield if he was somehow to crack the case.

“He is not the kind of coach that will take his chances on the managerial merry-go-round and jump from club to club, collecting pay-outs more regularly than he lifts trophies,” Jack writes, about the guy who has had exactly one management job in his three and a bit year career so far.

He has certainly collected more pay-outs than trophies in that time though.

Check out this piece of woeful pro-Gerrard guff.

“From Newcastle’s point of view, there is the obvious attraction of the Gerrard name and brand and the fact they would be appointing an up-and-coming coach that has domestic success and European achievement on his record.”

There is some minor understanding of reality here though.

“Having bought into the Premier League razzamatazz and set their sights on what would be unedifying glories, it seems more likely that an established manager – the likes of Antonio Conte or Roberto Martinez, perhaps – will be given the Saudi’s blank chequebook. The coming years on Tyneside will be ones of largesse, waste and controversy and Gerrard just doesn’t seem the kind of man or manager for what will unfold in the North East.”

Amazing that he’s actually heard the drumbeat from down south which, as I reported earlier, is that it Conte is the man the club has its eye on.

But the idea that the guy who’s signed upwards of 30 players is not the sort of “man or manager” to go in for “largesse” or “waste” makes me wonder which club Jack thinks he has been commenting on.

The whole article reeks of the lunatic ward.

If Newcastle dangled the job in front of Gerrard he’d be out of Ibrox faster than the packers could get his boxes organised.

He would be on the plane down to Geordie Land before Jack had time to switch the laptop on.

It is hard to judge whether Jack really does believe this or if he’s been drafted to do a piece of “feel-good” for Ibrox fans who might be worried.

They don’t have to be.

Jack could just have been straight about it; when the oil barons of Saudi Arabia are putting together their managerial shortlist, Gerrard will be nowhere near it, not even as a passing thought.

Had he just said that he’d have been talking a bit of sense.

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