If you’ve not read Keith Jackson’s latest piece of trash yet, I’ll save you the bother.
It’s atrocious, right from the start.
I’m not even giving it the paragraph by paragraph treatment because frankly it’s not worth my time or effort.
He gets the bare minimum here.
This is a Kit Kat and coffee break piece.
For starters, he opens with a dreadfully unapt analogy comparing the coming game on 2 February to the scandal engulfing Boris Johnson. If you’re struggling to see the linkage don’t waste a further bit of brainpower on it, because there isn’t any.
This is what some really bad writers who lack a formal education do.
They try to sound smarter than they are.
Jackson does this frequently, and horribly, grabbing something from the headlines and trying, desperately, to make it fit with whatever point he’s trying to make. However awful some of those previous efforts have been, this is the worst.
His attempts to write funny are equally cringy and there’s a stab at humour in his opening section which sinks like a swimmer wearing concrete trunks.
Jackson is not intelligent enough to do funny. It’s one of the hardest things to get right. The only times he gets close are when he’s so bad that he crosses the line into being unintentionally hilarious.
This, alas, is not one of those times.
As bad as the opening is, things actually get worse from that point on, because when he does arrive at the point of the piece he’s so far behind the facts that his editor should be fired for allowing the article to go out.
I’ll quote him exactly.
“With bodies piling up on both sides of the Clyde and more key men leaving town on international duty, the suspicion grows by the day that one or both of these sides may consider it more convenient to call for a second postponement rather than go into a title fight armed with not much more than a stinking hangover.”
Another dire analogy at the end there aside, that entire paragraph is redundant, and with it the whole article.
The international call-ups are over with.
Neither side has enough players away to justify the scenario he’s talking about.
That Jackson does not know this is quite unbelievable; every single blogger on both sides of the city is aware of this.
Almost all of them have written about it.
We are vastly better informed and more aware of the regulations and the state of play than the guy who makes a living covering this sport for a national title, and that should be embarrassing for Jackson and his bosses.
That he actually spends the bulk of the article writing about a scenario which is technically impossible is pretty jaw-dropping.
What’s worse is that the knows that Celtic, at least, were unable to request a postponement the minute the news came through that only one of our Japanese players had been called up.
So what exactly is the point of this piece, if not the point he made earlier?
Well, Jackson alleges that Ange was angry at full time at Alloa because he had lost this opportunity.
He acknowledges that the manager’s mood may have had something to do with McGregor, but to Jackson that merely enhanced the frustration Ange already felt.
Not content with suggesting that our manager is angry that an easy option had been removed from the table, he then calls Ange Postecoglou a liar by claiming that Kyogo will be out for far longer than the boss wants to admit in public … Jackson is claiming, again, to have Parkhead “sources” who are feeding him information that the injury is much more serious.
And that’s where the line should be drawn.
When Ange sits in front of the press tomorrow he will certainly be asked about this accusation.
I eagerly await his response.
Jackson, of course, will not be in the room; this is ring and run from him, a typically gutless piece making an unfounded allegation and hiding behind anonymous “sources.”
He finishes the piece by banging on, again, about how “late call ups” might give Van Bronckhorst a reason to request a call-off.
But he never clears up which Ibrox players would be eligible for that because he doesn’t know as the whole point of the article is sheer nonsense, with no such call-ups on the horizon and no possibility of the SPFL being asked to make such a decision.
A national newspaper pays Jackson for this crap.
He actually draws a salary for being this pig ignorant and uninformed, and that’s his bosses’ look-out if they want to stuff his bank account for such a dire return, but he’s accused the Celtic boss of deliberately misleading people, which is the one allegation that Ange Postecoglou, of all people, should never have to face.
And especially not from a low-IQ idiot like this who can’t even get the most basic facts right.