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Another Day, Another Dreadful Keevins Article About Celtic And Ange.

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It’s been a long time since I went over a journalist’s article line by line, but I’m going to give Keevins the treatment tonight for his piece today. It was bad. It wasn’t terrible but it was still bad. It has misrepresented the manager and it lies about our club.

So here we go; I won’t waste further time delaying, I’ll jump right into it.

“The tone has been set on the eve of the Premiership ’s eagerly-awaited return. Celtic and Rangers want nothing to do with having away fans inside their ground on Old Firm day – or night.”

An outright lie or a demonstration of utter ignorance. Celtic has made countless attempts to resolve the issues between the two clubs. We would, as a club, happily return to the way things used to be but every effort we have made to resolve this matter has been rebuffed. Every single one. Keevins either does not know that – which is bad – or he is deliberately misleading people. Either way, it’s not good enough and he should be called out for it.

“At least a Scottish game that has always run on spite, malice and mistrust knows where it stands.”

He should know about spite, malice and mistrust. He has spent years sowing those attitudes. This article is no exception.

“Each club retreats behind its respective barriers, resistant to the idea that common ground could ever exist.”

As I said, one of the clubs has tried to find common ground. I am sick and tired of this bullshit narrative that we are just as bad as them. It is absolutely untrue.

“Let battle, and mutual contempt, commence again.”

Mutual contempt; what Keevins feels for his audience and what his audience feels for him/

“Ange Postecoglou will doubtless appreciate the plain-speaking nature of the snub for away fans.”

Utter nonsense, and the reason most people can’t stand Keevins. Ange Postecoglou has fought the good fight to have fans in stadiums, and he laments the absence of away fans as much as he would home fans. He would love to have thousands of away fans in stadiums; anyone who has listened to him knows this full well. Keevins clearly does not.

“I’ve been listening to managers who were occasionally economical with the truth for the last 52 years.”

And I’ve been writing about journalists who are the same for at least the last ten. Keevins is one of the most notorious. Already in this article he has lied about Celtic’s position and misrepresented the views of the manager. Quite incredible.

“The great, the good and the gormless have all tried it on, telling you black was white and attempting to insult your intelligence while defying the listener to contradict them.”

Sounds exactly like Radio Clyde Superscoreboard.

“But Celtic’s manager would pass a lie detector test. When he says the transfer window is now closed for him, I accept that.”

Nice of you to say. But he never actually said that, as this blog and others have already pointed out. So why in God’s name are you pretending that he did?

“When he says he’ll only consider a request to postpone the next Old Firm derby on February 2 if he feels unfairly crippled by international call-ups, I take him at face value.”

Again, although many people are interpreting his comments that way he never actually said that either. Like many others, I have interpreted his comments that way – as a common sense stance – but you can’t take it “at face value” because he hasn’t actually said that.

“When he says not getting Riley McGree to sign for Celtic doesn’t concern him, I think he means it.”

He does mean it. It doesn’t concern him at all.

“Money, as Ange appreciates, knows no allegiance.”

Not in football.

“The Aussie has gone to Middlesbrough, a club where nothing has continued to happen for decades.”

Keevins better watch out; their fans don’t like to be told stuff like that. I wrote an entire article on it last week and they’ve been squealing about it ever since.

“But, regardless of their mediocrity, the wages are good and every man has his price. Clubs arbitrarily bin players when they have no further use for them. It’s a two-way street in the transfer market.”

We get it. Let’s get back to the point.

“In the spirit of candour embraced by Ange, I also believe his tilt at the title could be shaped by what happens on the park over the next 48 hours.”

Disingenuous, as we’ll see in the next few paragraphs.

“A caller on the radio questioned my intelligence for not waiting until the end of the transfer window before predicting who will win the Premiership title.”

No wonder. The only people stupider than the audience on that show are the people in the studio. Keevins, we know you called the title months ago. Your predictions are notoriously shite, and usually come pitifully early. Didn’t you call a title chase in early November back in 2011-12? How did that one turn out again you clown?

“Well, Postecoglou is a sensible man and he isn’t waiting for anything to do with the window either.”

Like English written into German translated into Greek and then into Chinese before being turned back into English again. If that meant anything at some point it doesn’t now.

“He’s good to go now, and both Celtic and Rangers could see their title aspirations decided, or derailed, by what happens in the three league matches each has to play between now and their scheduled meeting next month.”

But his prediction won’t change either way, of course.

“Celtic should approach Shaun Maloney with caution for a start.”

Agreed. But I know why I believe this.

“He’s short on stature but big on meticulous planning and has made astute signings since taking over as manager at Hibs.”

I guarantee you that Keevins knows next to nothing about Maloney’s management style – with that Hibs is his first club this would be hard – or a single thing about the signings. But Maloney is the media darling right now, and Celtic are their next opponents, so of course.

“I’m told he brought in an opposition analyst last week as well, although how he works out Celtic’s team at short notice is anybody’s guess after their signing of three Japanese and an Irishman.”

Because Maloney – believe it or not – is thinking about more than just the Celtic game.

“What happens at Celtic Park on Monday will determine whether Rangers are under pressure, or heavily incentivised, when they face Aberdeen at Pittodrie the following night.”

Blinding insight, right? This is what The Sunday Mail pays him for I guess.

“If you’re going out on a limb then make sure it’s a double jabbed, boosted, medically-certificated limb and say what you think.”

Eah? What the actual … ?

“I’m on record here as saying I don’t think Giovanni van Bronckhorst’s Rangers will lose a game between now and the end of the season.”

Without knowing how good Celtic’s signings are, without knowing whether their club will be affected by the winter break as they were under Gerrard, without knowing if there will be a virus outbreak at the club, and with two games at Celtic Park still to play that is not a “prediction.” It is, to quote someone smarter than me, crystal balls. Only a moron would say such a thing.

“I don’t accept that’s outrageous, given that Rangers have lost one league game in the last season-and-a- half but I know what’s coming my way if my old sparring partner Scott Brown leads Aberdeen to victory on Tuesday.”

It isn’t “outrageous.” It is absolutely idiotic.

“A gentleman on social media sent me a photograph of a wheelchair as a way of suggesting I may be too old for this lark, while another said I was in line for an “impending headstone” – the same message only more tasteless.”

And I’ve said much worse. You are a joke. “Predictions” like the above are only part of the reason why I can say so with utter confidence.

“Either way, Postecoglou has come here and turned the wreckage of last season into a cup-winning example of the power of positive thinking in a ridiculously short space of time.”

That’s a new explanation for what Ange has done; turned the team around due to the power of positive thinking. Who is this eejit? Why is he pretending to know about football? It has nothing to do with the signings, the playing style, the coherence of the plan?

“But now it’s his team, his judgement and his burden to bear concerning what happens next in the league.”

Ange will be shocked to hear it. Because he’s never said anything like that himself … oh wait, he has, he says it every week.

“If supporters’ bravado contributed to the country’s Gross Domestic Product, Scotland would be the richest country in the world.”

His metaphors and analogies are as bad as those from Keith Jackson and his are legendry for being absolutely pish.

“But now the talking that has gone on unabated for the last three weeks of inactivity in the Premiership has to stop.”

?????

“Platitudes now take second place to practicality.”

Oh dear God. Bad Writing 101 there.

You can’t just take two words that start with the same letter and jam them into a sentence like that.

A meaningless bit of babble to end an atrocious piece of work.

He really is the worst of all Scotland’s alleged sports journalists.

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7 comments

  • paul McCann says:

    in2005 he tipped the huns to win the league by a country mile and celtic would finish 3rd
    he got the country mile right just the team wrong

  • Tony B says:

    Spew Heavins obviously has age related dementia.

    He is a joke figure and would be worthy of our pity if he wasn’t such a total gobshite as has been proven over the years.

    This complete fud could only get away with it in Scotland where mediocrity and mendacity in journalism is rewarded.

    A chanty wrassler of the highest order.

  • Lordmac says:

    Rangers sold the Celtic end to new season ticket holders for extra funds and will not admit to it

  • vincent mcsherry says:

    Leave Hugh alone! His writings are for the ears of “rangers” fans, His job is to “tow the party line” which of course he does very well!!

  • Kevin McGrandles says:

    He is an absolute slavering shite of a man

  • Sophie Johnstone says:

    Someone should show that to Ange,Keevins needs the “mate” treatment

  • Frankie pearson says:

    Always writes 100% shite, should be retired, put out to chase butterflies in the fields.

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