Oh the irony! A headline reeking of fear accusing us of panic.
A lunatic phoning a national newspaper Hotline, given the spotlight, and allowed to scream into the ether.
Yes, it’s been a while since I wrote about perhaps the biggest gathering of goons in Scottish Football outside of the Pie And Bovril forums, and here we are; The Daily Record Hotline, a collection of people so rabid that they call actually call a premium rate number for the pleasure of having their lack of IQ points highlighted to the rest of the world.
And sometimes you just have to love them.
It’s always the headline which grabs me.
I usually never actually bother to read the comments or the calls. The Record likes to highlight the craziest amongst them, the one who snatched a mobile from a visitor on the ward and made his call before they could stop him.
Here’s the one that’s inspired this piece; “Celtic transfers stink of panic and the unstoppable Rangers machine will charge to 56.”
Oh where do you even start? Let’s start at the beginning.
We’re in the middle of a rebuild.
That rebuild isn’t being done for a single purpose or to win a single title.
It’s to put us on the right footing for the next few years.
This is the foundation for the next great Celtic treble winning side. It’s not “panic”; the only panic is wafting off the kind of people who would view this as anything but our club finishing Phase One of a big job.
How about this? Their club isn’t “unstoppable” since it’s been stopped several times.
Including by Hibs in the League Cup. And we stopped them.
If these Peepul can get their heads out of their backsides long enough to notice it, the trophy is back at Celtic Park.
And once again, the tiresome mention of “56.”
Have you ever seen a club so obsessed with listing the number of titles it alleges it has won? Celtic has won 51 but I don’t know a single one of us who goes on and on and on about “52” as if it were a mantra.
You know why? Cause none of them are in question.
None of them have an asterisk next to them.
For a club which continually bangs on about its alleged continuity, they emphasise it an awful lot. Their insecurity over it is profound; they are like a cuckolded husband constantly telling his mates how much his wife really loves him.
Who are you lying to guys? Certainly not to us.
The caller isn’t the point here.
Whoever picked that headline, whoever chose to have that screaming out of the paper, is the one who has the issues.
The one who is clearly sweating scared and looking for some cold comfort.
Well too bad.
The Celtic rebuild continues apace, no matter what these clowns think of it, and we’re doing it because it has to be done, because for once we’re planning ahead.
I understand why that scares them. And it should.