Alex Rae is one of Scottish football broadcasting’s most ridiculous figures.
A man so dumb that the proverbial box of rocks would offer more insight and quality.
I sometimes think he is used by his employers for that very reason, like some kind of freak-show exhibit, a shaved bear wearing a dress.
He definitely has a freak-show visage.
Like Kris Boyd, his idiot twin twice removed, he is incapable of analysis because not only does he lacks the intelligece for it, but he cannot stop letting his biases get in the way.
That’s the mark of a truly terrible broadcaster; it’s not stupidity, which can you find in a lot of places, or even a desire to sensationalise.
It’s bias. That’s what truly reeks.
And other than Boyd, nobody – not even his sidekick in Clown Land Hugh Keevins – wears his anti-Celtic heart on his sleeve quite like this guy and it taints everything he does. Whenever he talks about our club you can almost hear the gritted teeth, sense the increase of his blood pressure and imagine him struggling to keep his self-control.
He rarely makes it, and when talking about our Japanese full-back Reo Hatate he doesn’t even come close.
When asked the other night to talk about the player’s versatility he sneered at the very idea that a player should be able to play in more than one position, making a garbled case for specialisation which very few modern managers would recognise.
I know some readers are thinking “oh the guy is entitled to his opinion; how do you know that it is biased?” Ha!
Other readers are waiting for the obvious punchline.
And all told, it came just a minute later … one Twitter user says it was 12 seconds later, but we’re going to give Rae a little benefit of the doubt on this one. After trashing Hatate, he was asked to pass comment on Ibrox’s new loanee.
What do you think he was most impressed with about a player he’s got no actual knowledge of at all?
Yes! That’s right! His versatility.
His ability to play in different positions, which is suddenly no longer a vice in his eyes but a virtue.
This is what we have to deal with as Celtic fans.
This is what our club has to deal with.
People like Rae being touted as “objective” and capable of analysis.
They couldn’t spell those things.