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No More Bottom Of The Barrel. We’ve Seen The Worst Anti-Celtic Piece Of The Summer.

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Whenever I see one of those things in the media which sparks my ire, I always wonder if I’m becoming a parody of myself. I always wonder if I’m going all Victor Meldrew and simply moaning about everything.

It helps, at times, when other Celtic sites weigh in with their own disbelief. This morning was one of those times.

The piece, which ran in the Express, has the following title;

“Exclusive Rangers way ahead of Celtic in merchandise searches as Ibrox club hits Europe’s top 10.”

Isn’t that pathetic? Isn’t that absolutely stinking?

This was “written” – if we can use such a word for an article as this – by Lindsay Herron. Remember the days when he was actual journalist? What in God’s name is he doing with himself now?

It was good that other Celtic sites highlighted this. It is a nonsense. I would have tackled it earlier, but I’ll be honest; I had other things to do which deserved my attention more than something this appalling.

The Express itself is a discredited rag, not a newspaper at all really anymore.

If you look at their website you’ll see it’s more akin to a The Weekly World News, all full of stories about how World War III is imminent and how the earth is threatened by everything from solar flares to gigantic tsunamis.

Its Scottish office has a dark fascination with the favourite subject of the Ibrox gutter dwellers and frequently quotes their resident lunatics.

The article scrapes every inch of gunk off the bottom off the barrel.

One third more people “searched” for their merchandise online than ours. I mean who gives a shit about this stuff? Some number cruncher in an analytics firm, maybe, but nobody else.

Do you get a prize for it? Are there league points available for such a thing?

Note that this doesn’t necessarily translate into more sales.

There’s no context either.

I have recently done a couple of Google searches on Ibrox merchandise; all the better to research a story about the latest Castore screw-up.

I bet a lot of fans have researched how to return shoddy goods which don’t come up to the same standard as stuff their mates have bought … there’s a lot of it going around if you look at their forums.

Imagine putting word “Exclusive” on the front of that headline! Once upon a time an exclusive was an article that everyone else would have written if only they’d known before you.

Nowadays it seems to mean that you’ve written something nobody else wants to touch.

Is this another word whose definition we will need to rework?

Honestly, there are times when members of the Scottish press, in their blatant attempts to talk up the club from Ibrox, find a new level of low. This is one of them. That article is absolutely atrocious in every way.

It would not have gotten published in one of those free papers you get on the bus.

Yet there it is, trending in a national title.

Have you read Ten Reasons Why Celtic Will Win The League Next Season? Do It here.

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5 comments

  • Cairncross says:

    Yeah, searching for alternative places to find the Castore tat and other rubbish merchandise other than SDI outlets.
    The searches resulted in about £20 worth of actual sales, whereas our real sales amount to millions.

  • Nick66 says:

    Get me some tranquillisers now! Hearing this news has me so distraught I’ll not sleep tonight. Another trophy heading to Ibrox in the close season league. They must be agog with joy over there.
    Meanwhile, back in the real world, who gives an actual fuck.

  • Henry says:

    Given that Sevco’s fans are only step above idiocy, it will take them numerous attempts to search. In fact, they probably think it is a player site and the can the next superstar for their ghastly club.

  • Roonsa says:

    Not that yer gonnae care but I do think you’re like a Celtic Victor Meldrew and I think that is just fine. We need people like you to call out the shite – because sure as f**k I’d love to but just don’t have the time. This is your job. It must be great!

    PS. I love moaning.

  • John S says:

    Maybe there was supposedly ‘more online searches’ because one can’t buy such tat on the High Street or maybe because they don’t want to buy from SD or maybe they spend too much time on their ‘phones. What a victory. The Pre-season Cup is theirs yet again.

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