Ibrox Moon-Howlers Seize On Absolutely Meaningless SPFL Booking Statistics.

You have to hand it to the moon-howlers of the Ibrox fan forums and sites; they know how to cause themselves the maximum embarrassment, and tonight is no exception as they go all-in to humiliate themselves by seizing on the latest piece of media-inspired meaningless fluff; the decision by a newspaper today to publish the fouls to booking ratios.

It is hard to think of something so ridiculous as this, unless its acres of coverage being given to who got what stats on FIFA 23, another piece of flimflam which an awful lot of folk get their knickers in a knot over but which is as daft as worrying about the idiotic values on Transfermarkt.com, or what the “supercomputer” says about who will win the league.

Honest to God, this kind of stuff is everywhere and not a single bit of it has any connection to objective reality far less what happens out on the pitch.

This is one of those, and a particularly daft one. According to the report, St Johnstone and the Ibrox club are the most punished in the league because their fouls are, statistically, more likely to result in a booking than those of other clubs. And what do you know? Not only is this “proved” by the figures but Celtic is one of the clubs least likely to see a foul turn into a card.

This is an obsession that started on the Ibrox fan forums and sites. It grew there. They believe that there is something significant in those numbers, and that they prove some sort of conspiracy against their club. It’s pretty shady for the media to lend credence to this kind of lunatic thinking, but once again they have legitimised an Ibrox fan concern.

But there is, of course, a much simpler explanation for all this, and for those Ibrox fans who constantly reads these articles here it comes. You ready for it?

Not every foul deserves a yellow card! There it is! Just that simple, simple enough even idiots like them should be able to grasp it. Idiots like the hack at The Record should be able to pick it up and wrap their heads around it.

Our team plays on the front foot. We are more fouled than fouled against as a result. We also possess the requisite skill-set that our players don’t need to charge into a tackle with elbows flying. There is nothing “off” in these stats, only in the brains of the people who are trying to fit them into some big massive over-arching conspiracy theory.

Which is why the Ibrox fan sites are doing tonight of course. This means refs go easier on Celtic, that’s what they think those figures represent. What they actually represent is that some teams are more … ahem, aggressive in the challenge than others and when you watch thugs like Morelos and Lundstram behave you can understand why they get more yellows.

Celtic’s players, on the other hand, have more finesse. That’s why when our player are penalised there is rarely anything more to it than a little mis-timed tackling rather than the outright neddish behaviour we see from other teams.

All of this is obvious to sane and rational people … but not the insane irrational Peepul apparently. They are, therefore, doing what they do best tonight.

They are howling at the moon.

There must be a lot of headaches at Hidden Hills.