Kenny Miller And The Continuing Ryan Kent Delusion.

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Yesterday, even if the rest of the Celtic team had been below par – which they weren’t at all – the two men we had on the wing might very well have won it on their own.

Jota and Abada were absolutely sensational, and thoroughly dismantled the Ibrox side.

Writing after the game, Kenny Miller had to acknowledge that fact.

It was when he turned to the subject of Ryan Kent – a subject which now routinely causes embarrassment amongst the Scottish football commentariat – that it all went a bit mental.

Kent is a wonder of the world as far as I’m concerned.

He reminds me a lot of modern art.

I don’t get modern art.

I think to get it you have to want to.

If you are looking at myriad vivid colours and associate them with danger or anger or joy then you’ll see what you want to see in splodges and doodles and all the rest of it.

If you want to see a footballer in Kent, you can point to a handful of things he does over the course of a couple of games and get validation if, at the same time, you’re willing to overlook all the errors and moments where he just looks completely useless.

I don’t see anything in random patterns of colour that impresses me half as much as standing in front of a nice watercolour.

And I watch football from every corner of the world and I can say with absolute conviction that Ryan Kent is a two-bob player who would last a week at Celtic Park before the coaches sent him out somewhere on loan and slapped a modest release clause into the deal, praying that it would be activated.

I don’t know how they maintain the illusion that there is a player in there somewhere.

Kent doesn’t resemble a top class footballer half as much as he does a guy who simply got lucky that he could play at any level at all; as someone said to me recently, in another world there is a version of Ryan Kent who hangs around outside McDonalds trying to pick girls up.

I’ve always thought that there were was something vaguely creepy about him.

He has the kind of face you expect to see when you switch on Netflix.

Be honest, if you had never seen him before and that is what popped up at you under the headline The Trailer Park Serial Killer you would shudder and think “he even looks like a scumbag.”

As Kevin Bridges once said, about someone else entirely, “That should have been the court case … “you’ve done something mate, look at you … get to the jail.””

But for Kenny Miller not only is there a footballer in there, but one who has more than Jota or Abada does!

It is incredible that after watching those two absolutely take the Ibrox club apart, and comparing the way they played both last season and since this one kicked off with his puny statistics that somehow Ibrox has the better footballer on its hands.

This is what he wrote about them.

“At the moment, Jota is a better player than Kent. There’s no getting away from it. By the way, Liel Abada might now be better than Kent as well, in terms of his output for Celtic. Technically, Kent might have more in his locker. But in terms of a hunger for goals and how direct and sharp he is in front of goal, Abada is proving he’s ahead of him.”

At the moment?

At what “moment” has Kent been anything but a shadow of this guy? Jota is a better player at this moment, and at every moment since he arrived in Scotland and at every moment before that.

It is not a stretch to suggest that in every moment he remains here and in every moment that he plays the game until his retirement that he will be a better player than Kent.

And Abada might be better as well?

I think you can take that one to the bank, because he now specialises in hitting the back of the net against them whilst Kent has only specialised in hitting Scott Brown.

Once, which is all he’d get away with.

Technically he has more in the locker?

Christ almighty, what a ridiculous statement to make.

If he does have something in the locker more than we’ve seen it must be buried in there deep underneath all the How To Kill Your Neighbours And Dissolve Their Bodies In Battery Acid manuals.

There are some subjects about which there really ought not to be any further discussion, because they are every bit as one-sided as that beating we handed out to them yesterday.

On whether Kent should even be mentioned in the same breath as Jota and Abada, surely that one has now run its course and been rendered redundant.

Still, Kent’s defenders continue trying to convince us that there is something lurking within, and maybe there is.

But I know I’d feel more confident seeing him playing this team of ours than I would be if he moved in next door to me.

I’d be doing more than just locking my windows at night.

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  • John McMonagle says:

    He’s a poor man’s Mikey Johnston

  • Mike says:

    He is so delusional like his wank buddy fatty Boyd and when miller is on sportscene they always bum up the rangers.
    They will not admit that the rangers are shite,they all live in fantasy land,as for Ryan Kent, there’s a really big wanker
    How can you bum him up.(HE’S SHITE)

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