Cristiano Ronaldo To Celtic? Let’s Leave The Fantasy Nonsense On The Other Side Of Town.

Image for Cristiano Ronaldo To Celtic? Let’s Leave The Fantasy Nonsense On The Other Side Of Town.

Of the many, many reasons for Celtic fans to ignore the foaming at the mouth suggestion that our club should be in for Cristiano Ronaldo, the most obvious should be that his appalling behaviour in the last few months shows how disruptive an influence he’d be.

We have a manager here who has gone out of his way to build the right atmosphere at this club. Every signing is vetted to make sure their personality is a good fit with the squad. There are no Billy Big Times at Parkhead. Everyone buys into the ethos of the Team.

Maybe that doesn’t bother you. It would bother Ange Postecoglou.

If you can ignore that he has blasted his club manager, abused its owners and risked sewing division and despair at the very moment Manchester United look to be getting their act together then how about his shameless self-promotion yesterday by hijacking a media event which was supposed to be about the Portuguese national team?

He is a fully fledged narcissistic loon. That should disqualify him right there.

Of course, there are his wages, no small matter in themselves.

He earns hundreds of thousands of pounds per week right now. Per week. An obscenity at a time when many of our fans are facing appalling life choices. Even if we were willing to meet a sixth of that, and make him the most expensive player not only at Celtic but in its history, that would still send the wrong signals to those in the stands.

How could we justify it? On need? We don’t need this guy to complete this season in style. We are going to do that with the current crop of players. What exactly would he introduce that we do not already have, except controversy?

Some people are just obsessed with bling. Some people just want Shiny New Things, or in this guy’s case simply Shiny Things, regardless of how out of date they might be.

Those more cerebral Manchester Utd fans are relieved to see him go. To play him in the team necessitates changing the entire shape of the side because this isn’t a guy who will track back and chase balls or adhere to a formation and system … sides get constructed around his ego. He is not used to circumstances where he must change to accommodate others.

This whole idea is lunacy. It is barely worth serious debate.

It belongs on the other side of the city, where they are prone to fantastical schemes like this without a thought as to what the overall impact on the club will be. The last time a Scottish club attempted a bling signing he spent most of the time on the treatment table, but thankfully got off of it long enough to miss the most important penalty kick in their short history.

It makes no sense, not financially, not for football reasons, not for any kind of commercial uptick, because the furore over it would last five minutes and we’d be stuck with the consequences. The wage ceiling shattered. The club turned into a Cult Of One. The dressing room harmony blown to smithereens and the manager having to re-evaluate the plan.

I don’t mind people drooling over this.

But let’s not pretend that the idea is one worthy of serious debate, because it would not stand up to the least scrutiny. Leave the fantasy stuff for those across the city. We’ll focus on the sort of serious business which got us here.

Share this article


  • Roonsa says:

    Mare chance of the recently deceased queen rising from the grave and playing her hairy banjo on the News at 10.

    Bum tit-tit. Bum tit-tit.

  • Frankiebhoy says:

    Why would we need Ronaldo when we have our own Portuguese man o war in jota hh

  • Kevan McKeown says:

    Fk that. His massive ego widnae fit through the Celtic Park doors for a start. Load of tom-tit anyhow.

    • peter cassidy says:

      the ego legs have gone great player but father time has caught up plus 500.000 per week just wee wee bit to much wages: its all balls anyway.

  • Katana67 says:


    A somewhat disappointing response to an interesting article on by Eric Knott..

    “Christiano Ronaldo to Celtic ?”

    George Galloway, Rod Stewart, Billy Connelly, and Owen Coyle’s Granny…
    Are ASTOUNDED….!!!!

    Some Lateral-Thinking is Required…

    Ronaldo is the VICTIM in this sad affair…

    The Culprits are The Glazers/ Eric ten Neurones/ Harry McGuire & The Neville Brothers Cabal!

    I normally have no time for Piers Morgan…

    But since taking up his latest gig for Sky News (Australia), he has had a complete personality transformation……

    A couple of his recent interviews with Jordan Peterson…and Ronaldo…have been very interesting…..

    It’s as if moving ‘Down Under, has reversed the Polarity of Morgan’s Brainwaves..?

    Manchester’s Neville Brothers spout off as pundits, but they never provided product themselves…

    Both were abject failures in their brief careers as managers, in Spain’s La Liga, and England’s Ladies Team…..

    Unlike The Neville Brothers of Louisiana, Art,Charles, Aaron & Cyril, who could certainly hold a tune, and spawned some notable hit albums, such as ‘Flyo to the Bayou’,(1981), ‘Yellow Moon'(1985), & ‘ Brother’s Keeper (1990)…..

    i. e. They had P-R-O-D-U-C-T….!!

    “One last swansong in the Champions’ League , with Celtic, to wind down a stellar career, with a stellar club ”

    (Playing again in Green & White, like with his first club, Sporting Lisbon….)

    The Planets Align….Some Things are Meant-to-Be…

    Do not Underestimate Ange’s Capabilities…..

    We have a Manager/Psychiatrist /Diplomat /Philosopher & Intellectual….
    All rolled into One….

    He can do a Mind-Weld…..Better than Dr Spock..

    Ronaldo may agree to come into the squad, to be used sparingly for important SPHell fixtures

    Avoiding the horrors of Away Fixtures at Livingston/Kilmarnock/Ross County/St.Mirren etc..

    And possibly some of the Home Fixtures against these same clubs..,
    Sparing him for the Champions’ League, where he could start the game, or come on after H/T,depending on the scoreline…

    There are no Giant Egos in the Celtic Squad…..Ronaldo would feel comfortable….
    Our Japanese players would worship him….

    Ronaldo’s skills & technique could inspire the rest of the squad, and help them to reach new levels…(& enhance their transfer valuation ? )

    The fixture list would enable him to plan breaks,, to conclude personal business, to take vacations in Bermuda, the Maldives, or even in balmy Dunoon…

    He could be the Worldwide Ambassador, for Brother Walfrid’s Legacy…
    After all, he grew up in impoverished circumstances, on the island of Madeira…

    Ronaldo’s Personal Lawyers could put the Fear of God into the SFA & the MIBs, if he is targeted by the Cluggers..

    And the Whole Wide World might start to take an interest in Scoddish Refereeing Standards, and Shortbread VAR Officiating…

    Even UEFA might sit up and take notice…

    Hell, the spectacle might even spawn a spin-off TV series, on a Japanese Comedy or Manga Channel..??

    Ronaldo could earn extra bucks promoting Scoddiish Specialities to foreign markets, especially the Middle East….

    Tannadice Onion Bridies,, Tunnocks Teacakes, Mortons’ Rolls, Skerries Sausages, Kings’ of Wishaw Oddfellows,, Carluke Balls,Springwell’s Lemonade, IRN-Bru…..and Buckfasr..

    As Eric Knott mentioned, Ronaldo might even be tempted to buy Celtic FC, from the miserly grasp of Oor Irish Raj…

    And the ‘Biscuit Tin’ is Opened…..Once and for All !!

    And who knows….if Christiano comes to Celtic

    The List of Candidates vying to replace GVB at ‘The Big Hoose That Never Shuts’,might disappear like ‘snow off a dyke’……

    Leaving only……Martindale.

    Hold onto that Dream..!!!!

    [Many Thanks to Big Packy,Philvis Returns,kevJ, 16 Roads, & Maggie McGill, for their invaluable feedback ]


  • John Copeland says:

    I’m shocked that Ronaldo has not been touted by the SMSM for the next the Rangers manager’s vacancy ! If you count all the Scottish haema,sorry tabloid the Rangers roving scoops there are in print form typing for the cause ,there must be one of them nuts enough to start the campaign ? Watch this space………..

  • Jack says:

    He’s had a great career, but in decline. Behaviour makes him too much of a risk to harmony at club. Wish him well but no thanks.

Comments are closed.