The Desperate Daily Record Tries Its Best To Spin Ibrox’s Chaotic Transfer Window.

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Imagine my utter astonishment – and bear in mind this, dredging the media’s gutters, is what I do for a living – when I got up today to see the following headline in The Daily Record.

“Rangers ‘unveil’ £8m worth of new signings as Michael Beale talks up transfer business.”

I read and thought “What the Hell have I missed here? £8 million in new signings? Well, there’s being wrong, James, and there’s this … where did they get £8 million from?”

Oh I should have known better.

Because of course they didn’t, and they haven’t and even if there was a month of this window left and they flogged what’s left of the family copper they wouldn’t be able to raise that for signings. This is partially down to the Brains Trust at The Record sports desk – take a bow David McCarthy, as your name is on this junk today – and The Mooch himself.

This is a reference to Hagi and Cantwell.

One signing and one guy who has crawled off the treatment table like the twin from Breaking Bad after his legs had been amputated.

They are the only club in the country who could get away with this, trying to spin a guy coming back from injury as a “new signing” in a bid to cheer up their fans.

Look, this transfer window they’ve spent exactly zero, so this isn’t even skilful subterfuge that might fool the average person. This wouldn’t even fool the average goon on Follow Follow, and we all know they are as dumb as the proverbial box of rocks.

This has to be one of the most desperate attempts at spin I’ve ever seen, and when you take into account the past record of that rag then you know that’s saying something.

It is a headline that just heaps embarrassment on the paper and serves to remind us that their club gets the easiest ride of any in the game here.

If this was our board, floundering whilst they signed players and strengthened a title winning team, and we were penny pinching and the manager was backtracking like this we would be getting annihilated in the press.

Not criticised. Annihilated.

And you know what? We would deserve to be.

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