Beware, Celtic.. Hampden’s Pitch Is Bigger, Softer And We Don’t Have Our Own Ball-Boys.

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I wrote about Gordon Strachan earlier, and it seems mad to be writing about him again so soon afterwards.

Because in doing it here I’m not entirely convinced that he wasn’t taking the piss with his Tavernier and Lundstram comments, because they crest the summit of intellectual brilliance compared to the “three advantages” he thinks the Ibrox club have going into the weekend.

To be brutal, if he’s not joking about this stuff, if this isn’t him actually attempting to troll us, then he’s certainly trolling the hacks.

The Record is lapping this stuff up although it is basically ludicrous, as it offers their favourite team a crumb of hope … Good God man, is this how much we’ve rattled them that they are reduced to this?

Ibrox’s three so-called advantages are in the headline.

A bigger pitch and one that is softer. Softer than what? Has Strachan got out and measured the softness of the grass at Celtic Park and Ibrox and compared it with that at the National Stadium? What does that even mean?

And a bigger pitch advantages the team with the best natural width. That’s us.

The ball boy point is just absolutely barmy.

We joke about this, but in fact it is exactly that. We perhaps get a second or two more of the ball in play with our own ball-boys but to pretend that this will have any kind of notable effect on a game is laughable.

I get the general points Strachan is making, and I’m not blaming him for the coverage his comments are getting. That he had to pull three things like this out of thin air instead of talking about better players or more talented coaches is, in itself, telling.

No, as per usual it is the media clutching at any straws that it can find … and the coverage of this in The Record is particularly stupid and over the top. If they think any of these things is going to deprive us of the win … well they are stupider than we already think they are.

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  • Johnny Green says:

    By softer I would suggest he’s talking about the ground being heavier, not softer grass for god’s sake. There is one thing I noticed recently at Ibrox, I can’t remember against who, but I did notice that their ball boys were sprinting about rushing the balls back to them. Heh, heh, they copy everything we do. 🙂

  • Johnno says:

    Biggest concern for the semi still remains what surface hamdump is going to provide and think the wee man could be implying as much.
    Every effort will be put into slowing our game down into giving the scum a chance within it.
    If that means leaving the grass longer and overwatering it, then it will be done. Along with gormless blowing up for the imaginey fouls then everything will be put in place to slow the game down which won’t be to our liking so much.
    Even with every obstacles that will be put in place in order to try and stop us, still don’t believe it will be successful in doing so either.
    There still remains far to much quality within this celtic team, with great discipline and footballing intelligence for the scum to handle, no matter what the helping hands they will be given still.
    We still only need to be at maybe 70% capable of what we are able to produce to beat this scummy lot easily enough still.
    Yet you can never be too complacent within football and can’t see Ange allowing such a factor to creep into his celtic team either.
    Might not win as comfortable as we should with the obstacles to overcome still, but remain confident enough that we will all the same as this celtic team knows how to win no matter the circumstances we are so use to facing still

  • Johnny Green says:

    The bigger playing surface suits us better and it’s less dangerous for our players as the scum have further to throw their missiles.

  • John Copeland says:

    First of all the pitch on Sunday will be like a farmer’s field after the Saturday semi final ! Secondly ,if the pitch was a race track it would be described as good to soft …Heavy in places ! Which team do you think the playing surface favours most ? By the way ,there will be bags of potatoes on sale after the game from the SFA/SPFL !

  • Eldraco says:

    I think we played there not long ago and won against them?

    If it’s ball boys we need we can always get the bench to run up and Doon for the extra excercise.

  • Roonsa says:

    Did Strachan watch the League Cup Final. Actually that’s what he might mean by a softer pitch because it was still winter then.

    He’s definitely trolling someone.

  • James says:

    Gordon’s relationship with the media as a player and manager shows the level of contempt in which he holds them. I think this is taking the piss on the media by acknowledging such minutia providing any kind of significant advantage. It’s the same as commenting that the Rembrandt hanging in the museum is more beautiful because of the bang up job the floor polisher has done, the wattage of the overhead lights, and the smell wafting from the cafe down the hall making the viewing such an exquisite experience.

  • Nathaniel McMullen says:

    Gordon is famous for his tongue in cheek comments.Don’t take anything serious unless you heard it from him personally from him. When asked which part of the field his team let him down he replied the GREEN part HH

  • Jimmy R says:

    A bigger (ie wider) pitch favours a team who like to go round their opponents. We can play round or through opponents depending on how they set up. Teams who try to clog up the centre of the pitch find it harder to be successful as the gaps between defenders can get bigger. It takes massive discipline to remain tight to your central partner, especially if there is a perceived threat coming from out wide. The down side for us is that our central defenders have a bigger field to cover.
    A softer pitch causes the ball to roll slightly (ever so slightly) slower and it is also slower to run on. The impact on running speed is the same for everyone. Thus the fast players are still faster than the slower players, so any speed advantage is retained.
    I think our flexibility in attack will give us a greater advantage than they will get from having more space to attack. Tillman and Matondo will love the space but might need to buy a ticket to get back into the game as they wander off into space.

  • Eire goCeltic says:

    Hampden Park pitch 105m x 70m. Celtic Park 104.2 x 67.7.
    FIFA recommended pitch 105m x 68m.
    Players will decide what boots and studs to use, based on pitch condition as they experience it.
    In horse racing a soft track has enough moisture to chop out.
    Hampden Park has underground heating.
    Good question James. Has Gordie wandered over the pitch taking
    measurements with his GoingStick. British Invention, replacing the Penetrometer.
    Did Gordie say the track will be slightly slow and Celtic will run the Gers ragged?

  • Henriksgoldenboot says:

    Ach, wee Gordy, still a wee comedian! He must have said all of the above after downing his few cans of kestrel lager and taking his wee Pitbull for a walk over to the park (Hampden!) He’s then thought to himself, I’ve no been my cheeky wee self lately, I’ll need to troll somebody. Guess who!? Lol!!! God bless you one and all!!

  • Michael Clark says:

    If Celtic are injury free the Rangers should worried, very worried. Because Celtic are a different beastie when Jota and Hatate are on the park.

  • Jack says:

    The biggest danger Celtic face on Sunday is that Sevco’s season ends if they lose. That will make them very determined to win at all costs. The task for Celtic is to rise above this and “play our football” as Ange would say. If we do that, we win the treble.

  • Stesano says:

    Wee strachan does talk some shit at times and tries to appease these idiots. Oh and our pitch is the exact same size as hampden!! Always has been!! Utter nonsense that trotted out lie and as you say it would suit us better anyway if it was. We get an early goal in this game and we be winning it by 4 or 5!! Huns will chuck it as its all bravado with them no unity with their players at all. Another TREBLE incoming!!

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