Just when you thought it could not get any stupider, another member of the ex-Ibrox Brains Trust steps out from the shadows to tell us that The Mooch has actually closed the gap on Celtic, the gap which at the weekend past there widened to twelve points.
This time it was Kirk Broadfoot walking out towards the podium.
Not since the pro-Trump press conference at a garden centre where a half-mad Rudy Giuliani gave a demented speech as hair dye and sweat ran down his face have so many people been willing to make complete fools of themselves with ridiculous public pronouncements whilst much of the audience howls with laughter.
I said in my piece on Barry Ferguson that it’s a shame that many of our younger fans had never been introduced, until recently, to the wisdom of his older brother … well, to those same fans I would like to properly introduce Kirk Broadfoot. To the rest of you, a wee reminder of an episode from this intellectual heavyweight’s background.
In 2009, whilst he was playing for the first Ibrox club, Kirk Broadfoot managed to hospitalise himself making two poached eggs. This is a guy who literally could not heat something up in the microwave without it blowing up in his face.
I’ve never been able to think about Broadfoot without thinking that he’s the sort of guy you expect to come across out in hillbilly country, putting his washing out on the line in some trailer park.
We’re talking here about someone who hurt himself making his own breakfast.
We’re also talking about someone who received the longest ever ban the English FA has handed out in its history for sectarian abuse after he made an undisclosed comment to James McLean when they came up against each other in when Broadfoot was playing for Rotherham. He would go on to sign for Kilmarnock. Twice. Why doesn’t that surprise anybody?
As a condition of his punishment he had to pay a £7500 fine and undergo one of those “education” workshops. I refer you to the previous paragraph on injuring himself making an egg and can only speculate on what good they thought that would do.
I’m only amazed that BBC Sport Scotland haven’t hired him yet.
That’s who the media is quoting this afternoon, in all apparent seriousness. This is somehow who they think should be taken seriously when he says something that is profoundly unserious and a shining example of utter idiocy.
It’s as if they’ve run out of “credible” people – Kenny Miller haha – willing to make this argument and are now working their way down the list of folks who missed the cut for clown college. If you pitched these Peepul to a TV network even the reality shows would not touch them, as being so far out there as to render them unbelievable.