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Celtic Fans Astounded As ANOTHER Ex-Ibrox Egg-spert Claims The Gap Has Closed.

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Just when you thought it could not get any stupider, another member of the ex-Ibrox Brains Trust steps out from the shadows to tell us that The Mooch has actually closed the gap on Celtic, the gap which at the weekend past there widened to twelve points.

This time it was Kirk Broadfoot walking out towards the podium.

Not since the pro-Trump press conference at a garden centre where a half-mad Rudy Giuliani gave a demented speech as hair dye and sweat ran down his face have so many people been willing to make complete fools of themselves with ridiculous public pronouncements whilst much of the audience howls with laughter.

I said in my piece on Barry Ferguson that it’s a shame that many of our younger fans had never been introduced, until recently, to the wisdom of his older brother … well, to those same fans I would like to properly introduce Kirk Broadfoot. To the rest of you, a wee reminder of an episode from this intellectual heavyweight’s background.

In 2009, whilst he was playing for the first Ibrox club, Kirk Broadfoot managed to hospitalise himself making two poached eggs. This is a guy who literally could not heat something up in the microwave without it blowing up in his face.

I’ve never been able to think about Broadfoot without thinking that he’s the sort of guy you expect to come across out in hillbilly country, putting his washing out on the line in some trailer park.

We’re talking here about someone who hurt himself making his own breakfast.

We’re also talking about someone who received the longest ever ban the English FA has handed out in its history for sectarian abuse after he made an undisclosed comment to James McLean when they came up against each other in when Broadfoot was playing for Rotherham. He would go on to sign for Kilmarnock. Twice. Why doesn’t that surprise anybody?

As a condition of his punishment he had to pay a £7500 fine and undergo one of those “education” workshops. I refer you to the previous paragraph on injuring himself making an egg and can only speculate on what good they thought that would do.

I’m only amazed that BBC Sport Scotland haven’t hired him yet.

That’s who the media is quoting this afternoon, in all apparent seriousness. This is somehow who they think should be taken seriously when he says something that is profoundly unserious and a shining example of utter idiocy.

It’s as if they’ve run out of “credible” people – Kenny Miller haha – willing to make this argument and are now working their way down the list of folks who missed the cut for clown college. If you pitched these Peepul to a TV network even the reality shows would not touch them, as being so far out there as to render them unbelievable.

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  • harold shand says:

    When the dafties are tired of Wee Barrys rattled and sussed stuff

    Call up an ex hun who got banned for abusing a catholic player to gee them up that’ll work

  • Martin says:

    I’m not defending him because he’s clearly a halfwit…but the microwave is absolutely the most dangerous device you can use to cook eggs (especially without mixing yolk/white beforehand as in omelette/scramble) and the yolk is liable to explode. Just in case your readers considered following his cooking advice.

  • Kevan McKeown says:

    Pmsl.

  • Michael McCann says:

    Great candidate for the next Ibrox manager

  • Tam says:

    Krazy Kirk broadfoot was not the first idiot to do something deemed sectarian. That accolade goes to Robert Malcolm “bob” to you and I….. Bob was signing his autograph for a kid …yes a child.. we should not expect anything else from representatives of “the rangers” they are the only the ones caught.. because from top to bottom “the rangers” are SECTARIAN

    • Kevan McKeown says:

      @ Tam. Never really recovered from Henrik handin him his arse at the 2001 hampden semi final. Must’ve woke up at night for years in a cold sweat dreamin about it. Went on tae drive ice-cream vans after that ah believe.

      • Johnny Green says:

        Selling ice cream can be very lucrative, especially if you sell jelly along with it, the majority of Glasgow love it,

  • Johnny Green says:

    A drift of pigs suddenly appear, let them all fkn squeal.

  • Woodyiom says:

    This is becoming boring. Are Rangers better than they were since Beale arrived compared to what they at the end of GVB’s tenure – yes! Are they capable of giving us a game now – yes! If they carry their form under Beale into next season will they drop many points against the rest of the ScotPrem – no! Thus the title may well come down to the 4 games between us which clearly wasn’t the case last year nor has been the case this year.

    They have made some inroad to the seismic gulf in quality that existed between the two teams ERGO partially “closed the gap” in exactly the same way Mercedes Benz “closed” some of the gap between themselves and Red Bull in the Australian GP compared to the first two races in Bahrain and Saudi Arabia – they still lost the race but by nowhere near the same margins and Rangers improved scores/performances vs us compared to under GVB are the same. As a result the semi-final is probably a 60:40 game in our favour but not the 90:10 it would have been had GVB stayed in charge of them – we mustn’t make the same arrogant and dismissive mistakes they made when Ange was first appointed. You can be sure Ange recognises the bigger threat they are now !!!

    • Rob says:

      Mercedes Benz may well have closed the gap, the difference being is they did it in a just manner. Unlike sevco who, have been helped illegally by our corrupt officials. If it wasn’t for said corrupt officials handing out penalties like sweeties to sevco, whilst at the same time making absolutely sure no penalties for the rest of the SPFL, together with red cards to sevco opposition ad nauseum but, again no reds for the rest of us. That and the myriad of dodgy, VAR sanctioned decisions have ensured sevco maintained a false position and points in terms of the league would have me point out that, NO, I’m not tired of this. We all need to keep on this for God knows non in the SMSM will. They are happy to accept the cheating so they can claim, Oh look, the gap isn’t that big.

      I wont be sick of this till we get a level, honest and corrupt free league.

  • John S says:

    The thing is, if one wants to spread nonsense, one has to find an idiot to assist.

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