Earlier on I posted the latest Keith Jackass piece.
I never cease to be amazed by how many people miss the joke and think that they are real.
But I long ago learned that this isn’t a reflection on the readers themselves, but on the fact that stuff just as bizarre is published every single day under the by-lines of various journalists at mainstream titles.
It does not matter how ridiculous and out there I make the Jackass pieces, you see. Because someone in the media will very quickly outdo my efforts and write something even more ludicrous. Today has been an excellent case in point.
There are two separate Ibrox “transfer stories” today competing with the Jackass piece and as amazing as this will sound, the Jackass piece more fully reflects reality.
They are going to try and rebuild on the cheap. Free transfers will make up the bulk of their business, with cut-price deals making up the rest. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s sensible in their situation. It is proportionate. It is the Right Thing To Do.
But how am I expected to joke about that in an exaggerated way when I’m going up against one narrative that says they’re on the verge of a £4.5 million signing when, in fact – and this is in the source article, from The Sun – no actual bid has been submitted far less terms discussed with the player and another which says they’ve had a bid of £7 million turned down for a US striker playing at the moment in Turkey?
You see where I’m outgunned?
Those two separate pieces – coming in the same week as the hacks start to reverse away from them spending £5 million on Tillman – are so far outside the bounds of the real world that satire struggles to top them.
All this is pre-game Ibrox feel-good, in no small part because few over there think they’ll have much be happy about at full time. It’s the kind of drivel which is commonplace when their team has won nothing and needs all the morale boosting it can get.
The media gets them all excited for a day and then hopes that they forget it and buy their season tickets like good little boys and girls. They never wonder if all this dishonesty is someday going to come at a huge cost … and in many ways it already has.
Over the course of this summer, I expect the frustration over there to grow and grow and grow. That’s why I’ll be watching it all with great interest and amusement.
In the meantime, I have to hope that satire stays one step ahead of reality … with this lot that’s hard to do.
May 12, 2023 at 5:10 pm
Therese Storrie says:
May 13, 2023 at 6:09 am
May 12, 2023 at 6:02 pm
Jimmy R says:
May 12, 2023 at 6:05 pm
John L says:
May 12, 2023 at 6:39 pm
Johnny Green says:
May 12, 2023 at 6:42 pm
May 12, 2023 at 6:56 pm
Still remain far more focused upon what our own approach to the summer window is going to be especially with CL in mind.
The beauty of our approach as Ange confirmed today is that it will always remain a guessing game and Ange took great delight in putting down the Scottish media with the “you haven’t a clue what we as a club have got in mind” reference.
On the other hand the scum have to still use the media with bullshit to try and please a thick zombie fanbase.
They have to drastically cut costs to remain in operation still, and remains debatable as to if that’s what the rats within the boardroom leaving the sinking ship is all about?
Regardless they still have to offload overpaid players sitting on bigger wages than they are worth and provide, hence the running down of contracts policy still in place.
How that gets resolved?
Couldn’t care less as plenty of bullshit awaits before the summer window closes, and very little chance of being actually prepared for CL qualifiers either, so a great start for the scum still awaits.
The only position I would feel confident about upgrading upon is still the keepers role.
I think big Ben could be loaned out to a hibs/sheep like team next season as still nobody would be able to afford him.
That in turn allows for potential better competition for Joe or even good enough to actually take the no 1 spot.
Even though you can see the hard work and improvement Joe has put into his kicking game, especially when playing out from the back since he arrived, yet is it good enough still to take us to the next level?
Bain can still stay as a no 3 keeper as still haven’t really got a youngster in place yet to take that role, and also a role Hart will be able to help with hopefully in the future also with development.
Will still be a very interesting summer to how it all unfolds and all without having to listen to bullshit either, another claim the scum can’t make
This is a great post but what Seigrest ?
Any idea if R2ngers have actually paid in full for Kent. I vaguely recall negotiations were not straightforward and that Liverpool wanted 7m and not a penny less.
Hun.s caved in but insisted a longer than normal payment plan.
Funny if theyre still to pay for him.
I too laughed at the suggested multi million pound purchases. I had to remind myself that it was the ibrox club they were talking about, therefore there was little to no chance of either deal going through. Unless, of course, it is the SMSM massaging the purchase price in order to convince the bears that their club was spending big to challenge us.
I haven’t been this relaxed going into the Summer for yonks and we still have a treble to win.
The Summer will take care of itself. Ange will identify and, for the most part, get his targets. MB will strike a mixture of gold and dross with his scatter gun approach to recruitment. How long before we hear him lament that he “has to cull his midfield as there is a danger of devaluing the jersey. ” At the time(Feb \ March) I couldn’t quite believe that he had just thrown so many of the people, he would later rely on, under a bus.
James. Why the F would anybody ask Todd Cantwell about a guard of honour? The muppet is in the Country about 5 minutes. In the words of the song, this is for the lot of them players and fans alike. You say it best when you say fuck all .
God’s truth James, the season isn’t even over yet and this media transfer rumour bullshit is bound to continue on a daily basis for weeks to come. Maybe a weekly review of it would make more sense, and be a bit less of a tedious daily read.
I hope you are well and have fully recovered from the vomiting bug.
I really enjoy your take on the affairs at both Celtic Park and Ibrox Park, especially when you use satire to put over a salient point. Always most entertaining.
However, I’m pleased you will be mediating all comments from now on. Hopefully, it will encourage other readers to join in on the discussion threads.
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