A Day Of Deluded Ibrox Transfer Stories Was To Be Expected With Celtic Coming To Visit.

Earlier on I posted the latest Keith Jackass piece.

I never cease to be amazed by how many people miss the joke and think that they are real.

But I long ago learned that this isn’t a reflection on the readers themselves, but on the fact that stuff just as bizarre is published every single day under the by-lines of various journalists at mainstream titles.

It does not matter how ridiculous and out there I make the Jackass pieces, you see. Because someone in the media will very quickly outdo my efforts and write something even more ludicrous. Today has been an excellent case in point.

There are two separate Ibrox “transfer stories” today competing with the Jackass piece and as amazing as this will sound, the Jackass piece more fully reflects reality.

They are going to try and rebuild on the cheap. Free transfers will make up the bulk of their business, with cut-price deals making up the rest. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s sensible in their situation. It is proportionate. It is the Right Thing To Do.

But how am I expected to joke about that in an exaggerated way when I’m going up against one narrative that says they’re on the verge of a £4.5 million signing when, in fact – and this is in the source article, from The Sun – no actual bid has been submitted far less terms discussed with the player and another which says they’ve had a bid of £7 million turned down for a US striker playing at the moment in Turkey?

You see where I’m outgunned?

Those two separate pieces – coming in the same week as the hacks start to reverse away from them spending £5 million on Tillman – are so far outside the bounds of the real world that satire struggles to top them.

All this is pre-game Ibrox feel-good, in no small part because few over there think they’ll have much be happy about at full time. It’s the kind of drivel which is commonplace when their team has won nothing and needs all the morale boosting it can get.

The media gets them all excited for a day and then hopes that they forget it and buy their season tickets like good little boys and girls. They never wonder if all this dishonesty is someday going to come at a huge cost … and in many ways it already has.

Over the course of this summer, I expect the frustration over there to grow and grow and grow. That’s why I’ll be watching it all with great interest and amusement.

In the meantime, I have to hope that satire stays one step ahead of reality … with this lot that’s hard to do.