New Ibrox Court Case “Better Than A New Signing”: An Exclusive By Keith Jackass.

New Ibrox Court Case “Better Than A New Signing”: An Exclusive By Keith Jackass.

Last night, when the news broke that the current holders of the bragging rights were embroiled in a new court case, Celtic fan sites responded gleefully. But they may have jumped the gun.

Because this writer spoke to a number of people involved in at the Ibrox club and they were bullish about the prospect of fighting this battle.

One went so far as to tell me that this development might even be “better than a new signing.” Celtic fans will be very concerned that this proves to be correct.

New CEO James Bisgrove was delighted that the news has finally broken in the media. “We have obviously known about this for a while,” he said, “and we are absolutely thrilled that we can now confirm it. The club will be going back to court, a venue we have always enjoyed, a venue where it’s fair to say we’ve had mixed results, but where we’re more and more confident. It’s like anything else; the more you do it the better you get at it. It’s fair to say that no other club in the country has anything like our experience on this playing field.”

Their new chairman, John Bennett, was even happier. “In some ways,” he said, “this will be better than a new signing. I know some people – those Celtic bloggers for a start – think that our club is not good at promoting itself to a wider audience, but that’s where these things are helpful. It’s a matter of time before these appearances lead us to the kind of exposure we need. Reality TV. Think of what an appearance on Crimewatch will do for us.”

Celtic would not comment on this story, but one official, who asked to be known only as P, said to this writer that, “I hear they are trying to recruit a high profile Mason to help them with this. What’s his first name again? Let me think … oh yeah, Perry. Perry Mason.”

With that, he hung up the phone laughing.

We reached out to Ange Postecoglou to ask him how he thinks he’ll sleep at night if the Ibrox club can increase its profile in this fashion.

“Jackarse? Is that you again, mate?” he asked.

“The switchboard told me it was the bloody estate agent whose helping sell my house. I don’t appreciate you people telling me lies to get me on the phone …” he said before ending the call.