Kenny Miller Just Can’t Talking About Celtic. And All Of It Is Rubbish.

If there was a lot to be said for the Ibrox side’s alleged “form” and the brilliance of their football, their cohort in the media would be saying all of it and more.

They would be ranting and raving about its effectiveness, its potency and its sheer genius. When Ange Postecoglou’s Celtic was blowing everyone away even our rivals could not stop talking about it, and praising it.

So I think it’s a mark of how dire the Ibrox club actually is right now that more and more you find its media supporters talking about Celtic. On an endless loop, in fact.

And at the top of the list of halfwits and dolts who thinks he is qualified to diagnose our problems is Kenny Miller, who just this week was telling us that Celtic fans were scared of the great form the Ibrox club is in. Which is why he can’t find anything to say about it except that.

But boy oh boy, doesn’t he find a lot to say about us? All of it crap.

Imagine this joker – coming at it from his own “managerial win percentage” of a mere 40% and two sackings already, thinking he can lecture Rodgers on how to talk to his team. This, presumably, is just one of the reasons Miller is sitting in a pundits chair and not in a dugout.

“I’m a wee bit more for that older school type mentality where if you’re not doing your job, you need to be told,” he said, revealing an attitude to management which is very old school indeed. Right out of the “if it moves kick it, if it doesn’t move kick until it does” school.

Perhaps he’s not aware that the people he presumes to treat like children are, at a club like Celtic, all multi-millionaires who might object to that.

“Otherwise, you will do it badly if you think you’re getting away with something,” he said. Doubtless this sounds like wisdom to anyone who hasn’t been on any sort of modern management course in any field of endeavour, but which sounds more like the fortune cookie variety to the rest of us, and that’s if we’re being generous in the interpretation.

He then offered a staggering observation, like someone who doesn’t know that nothing but random words are tumbling out of his mouth, in no particular order.

“I would be very surprised if Celtic were talking about making a change to be honest with you and moving Brendan on, that wouldn’t be for me.

What I would say is, these are not bad players. There is something not happening at this moment in time. They aren’t responding to anything, whether it be the manager, or have they got bored?

“When players go to Rangers or Celtic, sometimes the novelty wears off. You’re playing in front of the 60,000, playing in front of the big games – and having to go away to Ross County and play away on plastic pitches just doesn’t sit right with them.”

So in Miller’s view, it’s Scotland’s plastic pitches that have done it.

And he thinks Ross County has one of them. Oh dear God. We have someone who imagines himself a Scottish football pundit here who doesn’t know which grounds in the country have artificial surfaces and which don’t. That alone should get you kicked off even Radio Clyde.

But the idea that our players just got bored playing in Scotland … I mean, what can you even say about a theory so facile and ridiculous as that, especially when many of these guys have just signed new deals? It would be different if these guys were proving they were better than the opposition every week … top pros could get bored by that alright.

Yet here we are in the midst of a title race all of us a sudden, and one we’ve essentially conspired amongst ourselves to create … that might be a lot of things but it sure isn’t boring. I tell you what is boring though; Kenny Miller’s version of analysis.