Where the Hell does Ibrox find these Peepul?
Last night, Phillipe Clement sat in front of the media and did his best impersonation of the last two Ibrox bosses. He talked in the same slow, monotonous, tones as that sparkling human ball of charisma Van Bronckhorst and the same rabid dog madness came out of his mouth that you used to enjoy hearing from The Mooch.
The Belgian Waffler is smarter than The Mooch. But there are things living under rocks at the bottom of sewage filled ponds that would trump that joker on an IQ level, and so this is hardly something to take much pride in.
All told, the atmosphere at Ibrox was terrible last night. Tam McManus has described it as toxic; I am sure that’s exactly what it was like.
The Aberdeen result at the weekend might have saved a point but those watching it know that the VAR intervention is the only reason they got as much as a point. They aren’t kidding themselves that they are watching a good team.
Clement has them organised.
But that can’t turn a bad player into a good one. In spite of the media attempts at portraying this guy as the Second Coming, he’s not turning this piss-water into wine and they know it. That whole squad of theirs is full of losers and just rank bad footballers. Nothing is going to save that. It needs a wrecking ball.
There is a ruthless side to the Belgian Waffler. There has to be. It’s his career that will circle the drain if he doesn’t sort things out over there. You can see it in some of his decision-making, which I’ll talk about a little bit later on. But even that won’t be enough, and his early talk about some players just needing a cuddle has long since been dumped.
But his excuses on their behalf … and on his own. Wow. Last night he came around with the very best one I have heard in my life following football. Managers use all sorts of smokescreens when it comes to the bad form of their team but in my experience talk of how a “baby boom” at the club has tired out the squad is just the finest one ever.
No Celtic manager would ever have gotten away with that. No Celtic manager would ever have offered up such a pitiful excuse for bad performances. A baby boom?
Are their wives and girlfriends the only people ever to have babies?
That’s a joke.
Imagine being an Ibrox fan having to listen to that. Imagine being a journalist sitting in that room last night. Wouldn’t you have challenged that?
Babies keeping players up? Women about to have babies causing sleepless nights?
So, what does that mean? Babies don’t just grow up in two minutes. Are these guys getting an alibi for this season and next? Cause babies do have needs beyond the here and now.
Brendan Rodgers would have been pilloried in every outlet for offering up something like that. Celtic sites, in the main, would have been aghast.
All told, their performance last night was awful. The manager’s honeymoon is well and truly over, and he’d been under the microscope with even greater intensity had his team not gotten that last minute penalty against Aberdeen.
But hey! Once the babies stop bawling they’ll be back on form.
Who said the Banter Years were over? Sounds to me like they were just renewed for another extended run.