Celtic Are In The Midst Of A Swirl Of Fakery. But Is The Most Important Part Real Or Not?

My ex was a WWE fan, and for a time whilst dating her I got quite interested in it as a spectacle. But that’s really all is, a spectacle. Early on, it was obvious that what you were watching was as phony as a Rolex sold out of a suitcase on a street corner in Partick, and that’s why my reaction to reading the words of “Drew McIntyre” is amusement.

He wants to win the “world title” on the same weekend as Celtic go to Ibrox, and as a “Rangers” fan he is confident that we’ll be “smashed.”

I wonder if he’s watched the first two games between the club he thinks he follows and the one we do. It’s a confident prediction. It’s also a pretty stupid one. If it wasn’t for the possibility of an Honest Mistake, I’d be certain that we’ll go there and win.

Now, before I start, let me tell you something about “McIntyre” that I remember from that spell following WWE. When you strip away the artifice and the fakery, what you find is an incredibly accomplished individual.

His real name is Andrew Galloway, and he’s remarkably well educated, holding a masters in criminology which he got right here in Glasgow.

To rise in the wrestling world, he’s had to work hard, train like crazy, serve out his apprenticeships on the undercards and claw his way up. It is always good to see a Scot making it big, and especially in America, and especially in a field like entertainment.

But that’s sort of the point; this is entertainment, not sport.

The folks in that business, and around it, are very, very protective of their status as sportspersons … watch the quite brilliant documentary on the wrestling business with Louis Theroux in season 2 of his Weird Weekends series; they send him to the Power Plant, where the wrestlers train, and because he’d asked the wrong question to the wrong person about that they make it hard, very hard, on him as a consequence of it. It’s really something to see.

Nevertheless, we all know what we’re watching, and whilst I have tremendous respect for these people as world class athletes and performers, there’s no point in dancing around the fact that theirs is not a competitive sport, but essentially a scripted show.

So, I love the fact that “McIntyre” is trash-talking us, as if this is still part of his act. I’m also not in the least surprised to see that The Record and other outlets up here appear to be taking it entirely seriously. I just find it hilarious. A fake character, talking about “winning” a fake title in a “fake” sport and following a fake club. The irony of it is beautiful.

The only thing “real” here is this title race.

And even that has some of us wondering if we’re watching a genuine contest or something where the fix is in. That’s why we’ve spent so much time pondering officiating this season, and Alan Morrison’s claim of a “pattern of assistance” does suggest that at least some of what we’re watching is not on the level. That would make this a fake contest too.

I think the measure of what I really thought of the whole WWE thing was that I stopped watching it when me and my ex ceased seeing each other.

And though it wasn’t like a gradual drop off it, it wasn’t like “Well, I have no interest in that anymore …”. It’s just that one day it was something I’d amuse myself with out of an odd fascination with some of the “storylines” and the next I didn’t really care about it at all. It’s how some people drop out of TV series they’ve been watching.

I think there’s a warning in that for those in charge of the game here; people watch football because it’s a sport, because it’s a meritocracy.

Fans won’t tolerate something that they believe is fixed.

That might be a subject worth exploring in greater detail, but for the moment I find the whole fake thing funny. It’s the kind of story you do expect to read on 1 April.