Once Again, “Nice Guy Ally” Lets His Anti-Celtic Bitterness Shine Through.

One of the most enduring myths in Scottish sport is the one about Nice Guy Ally.

It is grimly effective because he can, at times, present a friendly face.

But Shakespeare was right; “that one may smile and smile yet be a villain.” It doesn’t even take that much to realise this about McCoist; you just have to watch and listen, because occasionally – not often, but enough to erase any doubt – the mask slips and the ugliness underneath is revealed.

I get bored arguing the toss on this. That there is something nasty about McCoist has been clear to me for a very long time. In my mind, this is no more up for debate than the shape of the planet. McCoist is not a nice guy. He wears the veneer of one, but it’s not a very convincing façade and I don’t even think he intends it to be.

What he does well is surface charm. If you’ve ever watched a documentary with a good clinical psychologist on it, you’ll probably know that surface charm is one of the hallmarks of the sociopathic personality; they, too, are very good at projecting a pleasing public persona.

They are manipulative. They are ingratiating. They are good at getting what they want.

Am I saying McCoist is a sociopath?

No, I’m not, I’m saying that surface charm is easy to fake and nobody should be fooled by it. I’m saying that there are people all over the world who do it every day, everyone from serial killers to con artists to politicians to people who work in a public-facing setting for big corporations.

I’ll give you an example; if you’ve ever gone for a bank loan or to talk to someone in banking, you’ll notice that the first thing they do is shake your hand, ask you some questions about yourself and your day and establish an easy rapport. When they have you relaxed and comfortable then, and only then, do they move onto the business.

It’s a clever trick, one a lot of people overlook. And that is Ally McCoist.

He’s in the news today of course after having a meltdown on TalkSport this morning.

Now, I’ve already written about that particular outlet, in my opening article, and I won’t go over any old ground, but this is, after all, the station whose “Scottish correspondent” is David Tanner, yet another bitter pro-Ibrox moron with a room temperature IQ.

Let’s swiftly deal with the stupid discussion over Brendan Rodgers; the chances that he will leave Celtic for any of the available English jobs is exactly zero.

The idea that there is still a significant section of the support who don’t like him and might force him out the door is beyond ridiculous; there may be a segment of this fan-base who cannot drain the poison from their veins but that’s their problem, not the manager’s, and that number is so insignificantly small they are not worth worrying about. They have no wider constituency, they have no megaphone through which to broadcast their dislike, and they would be drowned out if they did.

It’s not just wishful thinking on the part of McCoist, it’s fantasy stuff. If he believes in it he should try a little experiment; walk into his bedroom, open the wardrobe door and see if there’s a passageway to Narnia in the back there. If not, he might try living in the real world for a while.

McCoist’s rant about the officials is pathetic when you can count on one hand how many people actually agree with it.

Most of the posters on the most rabid pro-Ibrox forums think the decision to chop off the goal was, whilst painful, wholly justified.

His complete lack of understanding of the rules of the game is embarrassing.

He talks about incidents moments before the push; this would be before the ball is in play, when you could axe murder someone in the penalty area and not concede a foul. His remarks don’t even rise to the level of schoolyard debate … it’s just bitterness, pouring out of his mouth in a torrent.

Bobby Madden, no friend of Celtic, no ally of ours, has said that not only does he agree with the call but six elite refs who he showed the footage to all came to the same conclusion. He also dismissed the idea of any “penalty” claim as fanciful. On top of that, the decision was brought to the ref’s attention by none other than John Beaton.

McCoist is ranting about incompetence. I always love it when these Peepul do that.

But he’s really ranting about the unfairness of life, the unfairness of being an Ibrox fan right now, and he’s hurting, very obviously. But you can be hurting without sounding like McCoist. He expresses himself in angry terms, this is a guy looking for someone to blame for his pain.

Defeat is always hard to take. Last minute defeats are especially difficult to process.

We’ve all had to do it though. McCoist sounds bitter, and even two days after the game that he’s still fuming about it is very revealing.

The basic nastiness of McCoist comes through at times like this, times when his wishes are thwarted, when his dreams are snatched away … and he allows the mask to slip. That’s when you understand what the Cheeky Chappie is all about.

That’s when you see him for who he really is.