There is an iconic moment from Only Fools And Horses which will never be anything but sublime. In it, Trigger, the dust-sweeper, shows off his medal from the council for saving them money. He tells a group of his friends that he has had the same broom for 20 years. Someone asks him if he’s ever actually swept anything up with it. Trigger observes that he has maintained it. “This old broom,” he says, “has had 17 new heads and 14 new handles.”
“How the Hell can it be the same broom then?” he is asked, incredulously.
We know what Trigger gets out of this bizarre belief that he has had the same broom for 20 years; a medal and some recognition.
There has to be a pay-off or you would not indulge such a barmy idea.
Ibrox fans who will tell you to your face that their club was “relegated”, and that it’s not a NewCo which started from the bottom tier, get The Lie.
Some people in Scottish Football call it The Big Lie. I call it The Survival Lie, to differentiate it from its subsidiary fiction, The Victim Lie. They are separate but co-joined and you can’t properly understand the Survival Lie without understanding the one which underpins it. But whatever your name for this is, we all know we’re talking about the same thing; the death of Rangers … and with it, the fate of the major trophies which were won by the first Ibrox club.
The Survival Lie exists to give them something to cling to. Without it, the thing their club loves the most is gone; their title as the most successful club on this island.
They used to claim to be the most successful in the world, but Al Ahly Sporting Club of Egypt claim that title, and the Uruguayans Nacional have a better record. The still claim to be the most successful club in Europe, a title I think is rendered laughable when you see Real Madrid’s European Cups … still, this is the purpose of the Lie. This is the function it serves in their lives.
More than anything else, it is what they think they hold over us. We might have our European Cup, but they claim the lead in most trophies overall. That’s what the Survival Lie really boils down to, and that’s the reason they hold onto it so tightly.
It gives them something to brag about, even as we celebrate having won five trebles in the last eight years.
Now the Ibrox forums are almost paralysed with fear that we’re about to snatch that from under them, and we are. The debate over on one of them is fascinating, as they struggle to come up with spurious criteria for excluding some of our trophies … they don’t acknowledge that some of those they lay claim to were won by cheating and would have been withdrawn in any other football nation but this one. But it’s amusing to see how their minds work.
The simple truth of it is that we’re now on the brink of rendering the Lies utterly without meaning, and I am sure our marketing department is very much looking forward to the moment when they can announce us as “Scotland’s most successful club” and not even have the most rabid believer in the Survival Lie contradict it.
The score stands at 118-117. I know almost all of us will dispute that on the grounds that the current Ibrox club has a solitary title to its name, but the point here is that the Lie itself is about to rendered meaningless.
If we win the Scottish Cup, we’re “all square.” Next season, we can overtake the Lie entirely if we win one more trophy than they do.
And I think we’ll do better than that, and from there move far in front of them and wear the title of Scotland’s Most Successful Club, and the most honoured on this island if we want to claim that, and the most successful in Europe if we have the gumption for the rest of our natural lives and way beyond.
We’re already “going for 55” and they are devastated about that, but the real prize is to snatch away from them that which they hold most dear.
Brendan Rodgers and this team are on the verge of something really special, and that should give everyone at Celtic added impetus, not only in the games which are left but into the summer and beyond. We’re going to rip from them their reason for existing in this form … that is a prize worth running down with everything we’ve got.
It’s within reach, and that is the thing that scares them most.
What a laugh it would be if we did that “GOING FOR 55” thing with the seats. That would make me so happy.
We just need to keep winning. We’ve done the hard part. Now we need to finish the job off.
And, for extra lols, we should call ourselves the “MOST SUCCESSFUL TEAM IN GLASGOW”. That would put their gas at a peep.
Idiots.
Obviously all right minded people on here will know the Big Lie nonsense and this trophy thing is irrelevant. But it’s not actually about us. It’s about them. Their whole raison d’etre with the survival lie is to claim success. Next season every part of that is shattered. They have, and become, nothing. It’s a beautiful thought.
It’ll be a glorious day. I’ll never tier of drinking Sevconian tears. HH
In the span of less than a year they’re going to go from being the “world’s biggest club” or “Europe’s most successful club” to… the second best club in their own village.
A small part of me actually wants to see them qualify for Champions League next season as well, just so they can keep the title of “worst Champions League Season” when they go 0-8 in the same season we overtake them in overall trophies and go level with them in Scottish first division league titles.
Ah, yes. Trigger’s Broom FC. This always makes me laugh, no matter how many times I read it.
Hail Hail.
No no no I want no mention of number of trophies we win.If we overtake Triggers Broom FC then obviously I’ll be delighted but we don’t have to shout about being most successful team in Scotland,they,and everyone know deep down we always have been
‘Trigger’s Broom FC’…like it Centurion, like it…lol
Tavpen tonight anyone….? I think the Celts will win the league tonight. HH
‘Worlds most successful club’ ! Just desperate, laughable, garbage. Aye, if ye remove every aspect of ‘perspective’ from it. Thats the word that disnae come intae their mindset. It’s no only about how many of their own domestic honors a club wins, or trophies from past wee tournaments. It’s about how ‘prestigious’ certain honors are, that’s where the REAL credibility lies. They don’t get that fact tho. It’s a ‘claim’ that absolutely no-one takes seriously one iota apart from theirselves. As an observation, ye’ll notice, strange how their obviously ‘beats all’ claim, disnae even get a mention when tributes are bein made by numerous documentaries etc. honoring world or European club football achievements and accolades. Not one ! Tho just tae throw in, quite often our own 67 success and Jock Stein get a recognition. Think that just about says it all really. Perspective’s a c–t, right ?!
Even when we do overtake them, they’ll change the goalposts and say ‘Aye, but ye huvnae won a French bicycle on yer travels, huv ye’…’what about these ceramics from all over the wuruld….’? Oddballs, the lot of them. Anyone aligning themselves with that racist hate filled club are guilty by association, and raising children in their faith is worse.
Cue the wailing and gnashing of the teeth…..
Can’t wait to see how many turn out at the Theatre of Hate tonight. It’s just not in their collective nature to recognise effort expended in an unsuccessful campaign. I vividly remember being at Tynecastle for the last game of the season in 1987, staying and singing defiantly long after the final whistle (in contrast to unpleasant scenes at home to Falkirk a week earlier), despite having almost thrown the title away that season and inadvertently started in to motion a chain of events that would ultimately lead to the death of Rangers altogether a quarter of a century later. True support, or as it was defined in music later that summer, ‘True Faith’ indeed….…
There’s always a strap line or a hashtag at the start of every campaign and next year I want the club to make our’s “The Real 55”. Next season when we are lifting our 55th Champions trophy that’s what I want to see on the t shirts.
It really is something to look forward to, BUT , with lawell in the building there’s every chance that everything will go tits up again, we need to get him out and out NOW .
Too right Stevie c. We, the fans have to do all we can to get that pocket filling Lawwell guy out, and now.
Otherwise we will never move on.
We’ve won 53 leagues, 41 cups, 21 league cups and one European Cup (116 total). If we win the league and cup final it’ll be 118.
The old rangers and newco have won combined 55 leagues, 34 cups, 28 league cups and one Cup Winners Cup (118 total).
Are my sums wrong?
I assume when comparisons are made the European Cup isn’t included so numbers are purely at a domestic level.
We must remove the r-word from the English language call out all the media goons they are sevco they know they are sevco and the only way they are not sevco is when they go into administration liquidation extermination and extinction the sooner the better.
We should be prepared for next season’s leaugue title win with a tifo to get it right up them and silence the filth for good. Any suggestions?
Along the lines of… the Fantastic Fifty Five or…..
You could add jc…
The Fantastic Fifty Five And No 1/2 (Half Measures)…
After we do not just do Single Trebles, Double Trebles, Treble Trebles but Quadruple Trebles…
Bloody Hell – I’m actually thinking to feel sick thinking about consuming that amount of whisky !!!!
Their trophy haul has always been a desperate claim to fame that no one with any sense ever took seriously, In fact it was as tacky and shabby as the five stars they used to have on their jersey’s, I wonder what happened to them, did UEFA make them remove them? They are a second rate outfit that used to have delusions of grandeur and are now just a laughing stock. As long as we keep hosing it into them I will die a happy old Tim.
We’ve won the League again, fly the flag.
LOL, Dundee were two up when I posted that, a wee bit premature? 🙂
Here’s a few wee stats n’ figures that I’ve been working out on ma (now very old) school calculator…
So Celtic are 136 years old and let’s try The Survival Lie of ‘Rangers’ (R. I. H) and new club Sevco combined that they seem to love to promote at The SFA and The SPFL who they’d claim to be 152 years old but used to claim 151 years old…
So as of tonight Celtic have a trophy success average of…
116 Divided by 136 = 0.852 trophies per season – Should we prevail in The League it rises to…
117 Divided by 136 = 0.860 trophies per season – Should we win The Scottish Cup it rises to…
118 Divided by 136 = 0.867 trophies per season – No club in The UK beats that for sure…
And Now to The Survival Liars –
118 Divided by 152 = 0.776 trophies per season – Should ‘they’ prevail in The League…
119 Divided by 152 = 0.782 trophies per season – Should they also win The Scottish Cup…
120 Divided by 152 = 0.789 trophies per season – They are still miles behind Celtic…
Of course we all know this is moot as they are only Sevco and won’t be 12 years old until 29-July-2024 in which case They currently average…
3 Divided by 12 = 0.250 trophies per season – Should they prevail in The League that would increase to…
4 Divided by 12 = 0.333 trophies per season – Should they also win The Scottish Cup that’d increase to…
5 Divided by 12 = 0.416 trophies per season – A million miles behind Celtic…
These are certainly figures that you won’t see in The Scummy Scottish Football Media for sure James…
And to any lurking crayon scribblers of The Scummy Scottish Football Media read that and FUCKIN WEEP…
That applies to any lurking Sevco Huns as well of course !
Oh the banter! Cant be beaten with a mash hammer. I was one of the lucky ones who got paid out when dundee went 2 up. Cheers bet 365.
Personally, I refuse to enter into any debate or discussions around the number of trophies won by each club and making comparisons etc. Entering into these discussions gives oxygen to ‘The Lie’.
My response to sevconians on this matter is simple. There is no comparison to be made. The origin Rangers is dead and gone and Sevco is a 12-year-old club, so any attempt to make comparisons is nonsensical.