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The Window Isn’t Open Yet, But The Pro-Ibrox Hype Just Entered The Theatre Of The Absurd.

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There is nothing like a summer transfer window in Scotland to reveal the madness of our media, and it usually always revolves around Ibrox. But before this one has even cracked open, we’ve gone straight to the Theatre of the Absurd.

Yesterday, The Sunday Mail published an “interview” with a former Ibrox player who is so obscure I honestly couldn’t even remember him, although it did remind me that they have signed some proper dreck over the years. The guy in question played a mere two games.

I cannot remember his name, although I only just read the piece. I have no intention of Googling it either.

The interview was ridiculous. The premise of the piece was gobsmacking.

It wasn’t even a news story, and not just because it was fantastical, sycophantic guff.

I read more or less the same thing a week or so ago. It was about the signing of Jefre, their new left back, and it was basically a love letter to the guy from someone who either played alongside him or against him, and again I can’t remember which and I have no intention of refreshing my memory.

There were two standouts from the article, and I have a good enough grasp on them to be able to write this piece.

The first is that he’s being compared to James Tavernier because he’s supposed to be not bad going forward.

The second is the preposterous assertion, splashed all over the back pages, that he could one day play for Real Madrid.

Here’s a prediction; he won’t. This is off the charts nuts.

Let’s be real; a novel idea, to be sure, but let’s try. Players do not usually arrive at the 15 times Champions League super-club via the Cypriot League and the SPFL.

This is the kind of story which makes you want to hit someone over the head.

Does nobody at that pitiful excuse for a newspaper think about this stuff before they publish it? Do they not realise that everyone not wired to the moon burst out laughing yesterday when they saw that headline? For God’s sake, it’s bonkers.

The deal cost the Ibrox club just £400,000. What do they “know” that the rest of the footballing world do not know? Even the article damns him with the faintest of praise whilst at the same time pushing this Real Madrid moon-howling.

The guy admits that he has things to learn as a player, and there is an admission that he’s not great defensively … the only place where even the James Tavernier comparison holds up far less the Roberto Carlos bit.

And let’s remember the context here; he’s hasn’t held up well defensively in the Cypriot League.

I strongly suspect that Champions League qualifying round clubs are going to enjoy facing this guy, and none of them will be calling Ibrox to inquire about his availability, although a few Celtic fans might phone them for a laugh, affecting the sort of dodgy accent Brad Pitt used in Inglorious Basterds when he was pretending to be an Italian count.

As I said in a previous article, this is what the rebuild looks like over there.

This is their first big signing, and you would want that to get the fans going.

Instead, they have this, and so I understand that they have to at least make an attempt to justify it, and to convince their fans that it’s not a low-ball, cheap option.

But as per usual they’ve gone way overboard, and have come off sounding insane.

That our media is promoting this story as if it were not unintentionally hilarious should not surprise us. But when you see the hatchet job they’ve done on Celtic signings over the years it actually stinks. These Peepul have no shame whatsoever.

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  • Brattbakk says:

    Hahaha. If this guy actually is half decent going forward then they’ll simply play him out of position.

  • scousebhoy says:

    scotlands sevco media shame it is well beyond disgrace .

  • Tony B says:

    Batshit loopy magumba aimed at the stupidest most deluded fans in football.

    I mean all they need is another 10 players of similar ability and they’ll win the Champions league next season.

  • Anthony McKeirnan says:

    Ah but you seem to be forgetting that even the 15 time european champions would still be a step down from ‘the world’s most successful club’

    • Clachnacuddin and the Hoops says:

      That’ll be a step down from Al Ahly in Egypt then Anthony !

      But Aye – I do enjoy the sarcasm of it all for sure !!!

  • John Copeland says:

    No doubt the guy responsible for this dreck of a tale – McDermott – the Sunday Mail chief sports scoop , ( i know ,i know ), has this ‘ ex theRangers source on speed dial ( for emergencies) , offering him payment for his sage like foresight prediction ?

  • Clachnacuddin and the Hoops says:

    Drug dealers undoubtedly know their market with drug addicts – But I doubt that they’ll go mega pro Sevco in their sales pitch…

    Alcohol dealers undoubtedly know their market with alcoholics – And I doubt they’ll go mega pro Sevco with them either…

    But The Scummy Scottish Football Media and what’s reported on here – Well that’s altogether something else indeed regarding pro Sevco (and anti Celtic lies and hatred)…

    They truly are adults with the brain of a toddler – and well as that’s the intellectual level of the majority of Sevco Huns then you can see where they’re actually coming from regarding their sales pitch and poor level of intelligence dwindling readership…

    But For Celtic supporters to buy them and fund them then that’s altogether something else – it’s bloody tragic.
    And they are out there sadly as there are plenty on CQN that actually openly admit to buying and reading them and even have the audacity to provide links to them for click bait to their fellow posters to support them…

    At least we all detest them on here thankfully !

  • John says:

    Well it seems very much like ‘theRanjurz are still coming’ according to the media. I wonder how long the gullible & deluded are going to continue to believe this kind of dross? Many of the peepul will abandon ship long before this decade is finished, because being second best in Scotland won’t be good enough! Newspapers who write these types of articles will no longer exist or be irrelevant.

  • Davie says:

    I thought the ibrox first big signing is on his way to Norwich, something to do with his club wanting the money up front and not paid as a mortgage, which is the type of purchase theRangers were offering.
    Maybe this other unknown is 7ft 2″ which could qualify him as a big signing.
    That would fit in with theRangers player model, sign big leg busters to bully other teams, they must practice that a lot in training as they are always injured.

  • Big Wolf says:

    It’s good to see the press in Scotland talking up the latest dross signed by Sevco. This time last year we were having to consume all the guff about Dessers, Lammers, Danilo etc.
    We all know that any signing we make will be rubbished by the press.

    It reminds me of the newspaper headline in 1998 when we signed ?ubomír Morav?ík for
    £300k, just as they signed Colin Hendry for £4.5m, it read ‘LUBO WHO’.

    Well’ they found out who he was in the first meeting at Parkhead. A 5-1 victory for us and Lubo destroyed them scoring 2 goals in the process.

    It was the same tactic when we signed Adam Idah at the winter window, and again the press end up with egg on their face. I love it!

    • Peter Cassidy says:

      They are going to rebuild a team with either loans or very cheap players”to compete against Celtic and champions league teams or Europa standard teams.Also they will be paying out fees for players bought last season”they are still at present in court fighting a case for breaking a contract with a kit supplier £9.5 million the supplier wants.It is strange their CEO just jumped ship after the league cup final defeats to Celtic..

  • Kevin Dunne says:

    Future Madrid player aye right if they have him on fifa for the PS5 that,s as close as that dodo will ever get , just piped up surplus not super bang average tin pot player ,but they,re so good at finding mis_fits it gives everyone else in SPL a LAUGH. They,LL get battered oot CHM LGE qualifiers maybe get another lucky run in Europa still have no title nxt season .number FOUR coming up

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