Celtic Fans Are Laughing At The Record’s Latest Piece Of Ibrox Transfer Feel-Good.

Earlier today, I read the excellent piece by Eric Knott at Read Celtic about Ibrox’s new incoming signing, the Moroccan striker.

He’s inspired me to do this follow up. I can only hope that I can infuse as much contempt and scorn in this piece as Eric put into his superb takedown of this deal, and the best way I can do it is to do a Keith Jackson style demolition job on it.

Amazingly, this article is written by Michael Gannon and not their usual purveyors of Ibrox feelgood rubbish. But this piece would have made any one of them beam with pride at having scraped more gunk of the bottom of the barrel. It is atrocious, but in that way that some films are atrocious, so much so that they go on to become cult classics.

This piece might well achieve the same notoriety. It deserves to.

“Hamza Igamane ready for (Ibrox) assault on Premiership as Military service has Moroccan battle-hardened.”

That’s the headline. Quite why they have capitalised the word “military” I do not know, but it’s not my job to clean up their errors.

Even so, I went to do some digging after reading that and you know what I found? The Moroccan army hasn’t been in battle lately. So quite how “battle hardened” he will be is anybody’s guess, but I wouldn’t be too concerned about it.

“(Sevco) are close to agreeing a £1.7million deal with the Royal Armed Forces side AS FAR Rabat for the striker.”

It’s a lot of money!

Our media enjoys quoting the notoriously poor site Transfermarkt.com, so isn’t it curious that none of them has gone on there to find out what they think this guy is worth? Their estimate? About £400,000. He’s not even in the top ten most highly valued players at his club. One area where that site does know its stuff is in basic stats; £1.7 million would comfortably represent the second biggest fee they’ve ever taken for a player in their history.

“Mark Wotte reckons Hamza Igamane won’t be scared of the Scottish football fight after the striker’s Military service.”

Oh Mark Wotte says this does he … wow. Anyone remember Mark Wotte? He was the SFA Performance Director from 2011 to 2014. According to the SFA we took giant strides whilst he was there. Which will be why, ten years on, Celtic fans look around the SPFL and cannot find a single domestic produced player who would notably improve our team … everyone can clearly see that we’ve gone backwards in the last decade. So he left quite a legacy behind him.

But on the subject of national service, you would think this was a rare thing. Almost all of our Israeli players, save for Kayal, who was exempt because he’s an Arab, did their national service back home. It’s mandatory for South Koreans; our exports from there have all done theirs, and as with the Israeli’s they live in a place where their soldiers have to be trained to a razors edge because they have seriously unfriendly neighbours.

If national service was such a big deal, and that prepared you to rip apart the Scottish top flight, how come we got such stick when we signed Justin Whittle and Gary Holt all those years ago? I mean, my God, this is an argument you could knock down with a feather.

“(The Ibrox club) are poised to land the £1.7million Moroccan sensation from AS FAR Rabat – the Royal Armed Forces – side after catching the eye of Ibrox scouts. Igamane is rated as a hot prospect in his homeland and is set to be part of the Morocco under 23 side battling at the Olympic Games in Paris in July.”

Sensation? With his scoring record? Which I’ll get to in a minute.

Let me tell you about Morocco; almost all of its teams have tie-ins with clubs in France and a handful of other countries. If he was, as they say, a sensation then clubs in those countries would have known about him far ahead of the one at Ibrox.

This is a player who has had such a low impact he doesn’t even have his Wikipedia page yet. And Ibrox scouts were at Moroccan armed forces games, were they? They couldn’t get tickets for something more high profile? Is this a joke?

“Former SFA youth supremo Wotte spent almost five years in charge of the North African’s kids’ set up until 2020 and he reckons it’s a rich source of talent for European clubs. The Dutchman didn’t cross paths with Igamane during his time in Morocco but he’s heard the buzz around the youngster and knows the country is booming on the back of their stunning success in reaching the World Cup semi-finals in Qatar two years ago.”

So, let’s get this straight; Wotte doesn’t actually know anything about the player, he’s never watched the guy, but he still has contacts in the game there who have told him about “the buzz”, the buzz that is so loud that “Ibrox scouts” are the ones who discovered him. As to this “the country is booming” stuff … only three players have left their clubs since that World Cup for more than £2 million. Three. One to France and two to … err … teams in the UAE.

All of this information is out there, freely available, for anyone to find.

“Igamane has hit 16 goals in two seasons for AS FAR – known as the Military – to blast on to the scouting lists of sides across the continent. He knows it’s a major step up from the Moroccan Botola top flight but if the frontman can settle he can be a top prospect for the Light Blues.”

16 goals in two years! Terrifying!

Combined with national service in the Moroccan military, how are Scottish defenders going to sleep at night?

Does an average take of eight goals a season really “blast you on to the scouting lists” of sides across the continent? What continent? He plays in Africa, so is that the continent we’re talking about?

Do you notice that it says “if the frontman can settle he can be a top prospect”?

Not a “top player” but a “top prospect.”

If he can settle.

I bet Ibrox fans can barely contain their excitement.

“Wotte told Record Sport: “The young players in Morocco are very instinctive in the way they play. There is a lot of young talent but most of them look to move abroad as soon as they get the chance. Hamza was a little younger when I was there so I wasn’t too aware of him but there is a lot of talk about him.”

A lot of talk. For all we know that talk amounts to people saying “are a Scottish club really going to pay £1.7 million for this guy? Why?”

“He’s playing at a good club as they have been strong in the last couple of seasons. Hamza has also been part of the Under-23s and Olympic team so it’s clear he has talent – and a lot of potential. The big thing for him will be adapting to Scottish football. It’s an entirely different environment.”

Have you ever looked at the GB Olympic team? Or the Scotland Under 23 side? How many players from those make it to the big time? A handful, I assure you. Because I’ve looked, many, many times, wondering if we’re missing something. The Scotland teams underneath the U21 level are mainly made up of players from our academy and the one at Ibrox … and we know how many of those have been able to break into the first team squads.

“I’d say the Moroccan top division is perhaps on the same level as the Premiership’s bottom six. Some big teams play in front of large, passionate crowds and smaller clubs who maybe have 1000 fans each week. It will be a step up playing at Ibrox in front of 60,000.”

First, if the Moroccan top flight is the equivalent of the Premiership bottom six then that’s a damning indictment of the job he did at the SFA isn’t it? Secondly, what exactly is he on about? There is no club in the Scottish top flight, or in the second or third tier for that matter, who play in front of just 1000 fans. There are probably Second Division teams playing in front of bigger crowds, so who is he trying to kid with that kind of rubbish?

“There is clearly a lot of talent in the country. Look at the team that got to the World Cup semi-finals in Qatar. A lot of that side were with me in the Under-23s and it was incredible seeing them step up on that stage.”

A handful of those players, at most, would have been eligible for his Under 23 team, so that claim is arrant nonsense for a start.

And I’m sure there is talent in the country, but how many Moroccan players make it to the very top of the game? Anyway, what does any of this have to do with the player we’re talking about? He wasn’t in that team, he’s nowhere near their national side, and Morocco did well but no-one kidded on they were suddenly an elite team.

“Most of those players play for clubs outside Morocco and it will be good for Hamza’s development to perform at a big club like Rangers. It’s not an easy move to make. It’s a very different style of football than he is used to, it can be fast and furious. But Hamza is young and will be keen to learn. It’s an exciting move for him.”

Could you be damning someone with fainter praise? You tell me where in this piece is the slightest suggestion that this guy will be taking Scottish football defences apart? A young player who will be “keen to learn.” He can “develop”.

This is a pure punt, and an expensive one for a player from that league, and that club.

No wonder the hacks are desperate to dress it up as something else.

What a horror show of an article that is.