Desperate Ex-Ibrox Player Cries Out For Saudi Assistance From An Unlikely Source.

You have to admire the ability of all in the environs of Ibrox to indulge in fantasy and doublethink.

One ex-Ibrox player has shown a remarkable capacity for both today. It’s Derek Ferguson, brother of Barry, and the proof that Bazza, as intellectually stunted as he is, actually represents the intelligent side of that particular family. Comparatively speaking.

Today, over on the one of the Ibrox fan sites, he’s given an interview where he’s laying out his thoughts on their transfer window so far and the way that they’ve failed to go out and bring in any game-changing signings. He knows that they are vulnerable.

He knows that because of the stadium crisis that they are effectively skint.

But he has a cunning plan. To have the Saudis come in and bid for all their unwanted players. This, on the surface of it, is not entirely original. Much of the mainstream press has been running variations on this ridiculous story for months now. The thing is, all of them are focussed on a club which does actually need defensive players and which is managed by Steven Gerrard.

There is no sign of this happening, although this is a record that never stops playing. Gerrard has his own problems over there and there’s only some rumours and vapours regarding alleged “interest” in Goldson and Tavernier. Neither is going to fetch mega-money even if there was.

The whole story is based on the idea that Gerrard will “do them a favour” as if this is the way it’s done in football, that you do favours for other clubs by spending millions of pounds of your own club’s money.

Yet Gerrard buying some of his ex-players isn’t absolutely out of the question.

We saw some of the players he signed at Ibrox; maybe he’s just not that good a judge of footballers. He signed Jack Hendry at the end of the day, so you can see where a scenario like this might start to make sense to the febrile minds of the Scottish sporting media.

But Ferguson, in his wisdom, has come up with something a thousand times more cunning. Or wired to the moon and howling if you prefer. He sees the answer being provided by none other than James Bisgrove, who can take some of their deadwood and set things right.

This is what he said.

“I don’t know who’s coming in [at CEO], I don’t know the ins and outs but maybe he got wind of what was happening and that’s why he got out the door as quick as he did .. But he’s in Saudi, maybe he’ll be able to help us in terms of one or two outgoings.”

I mean … what? He thinks that James Bisgrove can be convinced to buy all the assorted dreck from Ibrox, risking his own job by dumping garbage on the doorstep of his new club, after they have spent the last week slandering the guy through their pet hacks?

You wonder what planet they live on, and which universe it inhabits.

Because it’s not a world that is familiar to those of us in this one. No wonder their fans are pliable dolts who can be easily conned into giving it up to every spiv who comes along. This is what their fan media choose to feed them, and the thing is, a lot of them believe every word.

For us though, the fun never stops. Celtic fans could subsist on this stuff for years. Don’t get me wrong, we focus 100% on our own club when there’s something to be looking at and giving the proper scrutiny to … but Ibrox is a constant source of amusement and laughs.