Reading the sports media, I sometimes feel like we’re living in an Orwellian dystopia run out of the Ibrox Ministry Of Love. As readers will know well, the Ministry Of Love was focussed on violence and repression and hate. The Ministry Of Truth, the Scottish football press, functioned as a machine for churning out lies. Today it is running a beauty of a one.
The reason I feel like this is a dystopia is that we’re being told two entirely contradictory things and we’re expected, as the citizens of Oceania were, to believe them both and pretend that that there is no contradiction between the two.
The first version of events – offering the truthful picture – comes from the Ibrox manager himself. He has provided the reality; his club is broke and he has to sell before he can buy. He has said this in clear and unambiguous language, so much so in fact that it’s giving people in and around the club the severe jitters, as he sounds increasingly pissed off.
Furthermore, this sits perfectly alongside what we know of their financial state, the crisis they are in the midst of with the stadium and the looming legal case with Elite. Some claim they are desperately seeking to settle that one first; that’s less breaking news than stating the obvious. They would be mugs not to at least make the effort.
But this morning, there are doubtless people all over this fair land coughing out their cornflakes at the story about how the Ibrox club has made an “opening” move to land former target Morgan Whittaker. And what’s the size of this opening bid?
Well, according to one Record scribe it was £7 million. On a single footballer. Who has snubbed them before. During the worst austerity in the club’s short history, when they are trying to offload their captain and a bunch of others to anyone who will take them.
And in keeping with the way our media works, the doublethink is on display all over the place, with other outlets leaping to run this alongside stories of how skint they are, not even caring that both of these things cannot possibly be true at the same time.
You just know that there are journalists who believe this, people who have been so long in the cut-and-paste business that their critical faculties have been eroded to the size of a thimble. You can best believe too that there are Ibrox fans who are lapping up every word of this, the kind of Peepul who will buy the Kingston Bridge a thousand times over and proudly hang each ownership certificate up with all the others.
For the rest of us, this is all a bit bizarre.
It’s difficult to know whether this is Robbie Copeland – the Ministry Of Truth employee under whose name this piece has gone out – indulging in a bit of fantasy thinking and actually believing his own BS or if it’s something that he’s throwing out there to give a lift to a support which is increasingly desperate for good news.
Either way, to most of us this is the proof that we have a sports media which does not reflect events in the real world. At times I have heard that people inside the trade blame the rise of fan media for the fact that nobody trusts them. Guess again.
It’s people like Copeland writing, and the newspapers publishing, obvious fictions like this which is why nobody trusts them. All we do is highlight the lies.
Yes, it’s all a bit mental and confusing if we were actually as stupid as the media think we are. However, it is great that al this bullshit is being directed at the huns who seem to love the comforting lies that they are continually fed. We can just sit back and enjoy their self imposed implosion with obvious relish as they stagger from one catastrophe to another. Nevertheless, it’s very satisfying that we are entertained like this during a normally dull close season, it fills the gap.
The next story will be written by William Broomloan
Robbie Copeland Road.
Sorry I couldn’t help myself…. ?
Don’t be so negative , this has to be true don’t forget , they are the people after all ?
I thought the best article was daft Boyd suggesting he thinks Clemente may leave. Has the manager made the GVB mistake and went off course with comments…..
This paper makes a mockery of journalism. If clement is coming out and stating the they have no money then the daily Ranger is saying they have made a bid of 7 million for player they are not doing the club any favours. Somebody has to be lying right.
“Someone has to be lying right” –
Aye The Daily Record are Charles – hour after hour, day after day, week after week, year after year, decade after decade…
It’s all reported on here for us to see thankfully –
It’s getting them nowhere all the same as they’re on the way out in their sordid life…
Their death canny come a day too soon for this Celtic supporter anyway !
The press pro 2anjurs and people like you anti Celtic the meeja is sewn up with mistruths
You want to come on here and give out stick LEARN TO WRITE IN FUCKING ENGLISH.
Think our ian could be a hun lurker…temper..temper james..but love it when you talk dirty !!!
Yep, copeland. Just another one from the jackson DR school of journalistic bullshitters.
Good player that boy, decent numbers etc, but there is no way they will be paying 7 million for him, unless Tavernier goes to turkey, and someone else goes. We need to get some decent players in, I see O’reilly is been linked with Liverpool now, it’s on Empire of the Kop.
I’m surprised there’s not more interest in Whittaker. Maybe the tribute act should invest their obvious wealth elsewhere, Vini Jr might be unsettled at Real Madrid now Mbappe is there and he knows it’s just a matter of time before Jefte takes his place. According to the huns Jefferson was rotten today, what a shock!
Let’s sit back and see what transpires. Way too much pontification by unqualified people.
It’s not called The Daily Ranger for nothing,I wouldn’t use it to line the budgies cage