No Matter How They Try, Ibrox And It’s Media Allies WIll Never Pretty up This Hampden Fiasco.

Today, much to everyone’s amusement, the media is once again spinning stories about how Hampden is preparing for the Ibrox faithful. The Daily Record even featured a picture of a club sign being put up on one of the walls, as if this cosmetic change is supposed to excite anyone.

Let’s be honest, if this were Celtic, nobody would be bending over backwards to make us feel at home in a borrowed stadium. The SFA certainly didn’t care when we had to use Hampden for a season in the ’90s. And here’s the funny part: if you ask the Ibrox fans, they’re not exactly thrilled about it either. Given the choice, they wouldn’t be going to Hampden at all.

To say that the Ibrox fans are unenthusiastic about this move would be an understatement. The residents of Mount Florida are even less thrilled about having them in town.

Local businesses are dreading the chaos, and residents are disgusted by how they’ve been treated. Queens Park has been unceremoniously booted out of their home, and the constant repairs to the pitch—caused by Ibrox’s mess—are only adding to the SFA’s headaches.

There’s no upside for anyone. This is probably one of the most unsatisfying deals in recent Scottish football history, pleasing absolutely no one. The Record’s attempt to sprinkle glitter on this mess is both amusing and futile.

Some might argue that this doesn’t matter, that the Ibrox crowd will still show up and get behind their team. But Hampden is one of those grounds where generating an atmosphere takes real effort. The fans are too far from the pitch, so it lacks the intimidating presence of Celtic Park, Ibrox, or even Tynecastle, where the supporters are right on top of you.

One of the SFA’s worst decisions was keeping the running track, on the spurious grounds that it turned Hampden into a “multi-use stadium” when it clearly should’ve been a dedicated football ground. Think about how rarely that track has been used, or ever will be. It’s an absurd addition that the stadium doesn’t need and certainly doesn’t benefit from.

That’s just one of the challenges the Ibrox fans face in trying to muster enthusiasm for a ground that doesn’t come close to their home turf.

So, what do you get when you look at this deal? A whole lot of frustration, dissatisfaction, and a recipe for complaints. Slapping up a couple of signs won’t fool anyone into thinking they’re at Ibrox. These fans paid good money for their season tickets, and it’s hilarious to recall that they did so with enough of last season remaining that they fully expected to start this campaign as defending champions, and are now forced to stomach this situation.

As much as our club is in a mess, it’s clear that theirs is in even worse shape. Their win in Poland midweek might have given them some hope, but it hasn’t filled them with confidence. Sure, they’ll show up and cheer on their team, but it’ll be without any real enthusiasm. This whole situation is costly, unpopular, and the SFA’s attempt to make Hampden feel like home is just another sign that their stay there will be much longer than anyone is willing to admit.

The Record is still clinging to the fantasy that they might be out of Hampden by the start of September, but everyone involved knows that’s impossible. The timeline depends on the delivery of a third shipment of steel, which isn’t even due for a few weeks.

Meanwhile, the club keeps spinning tales to the contrary.

Will it be weeks? Months?

The truth is, their directors have been quietly preparing their fans for the worst all along. They started with the hope that it might be done by August, then shifted to mid-August, then the end of August, and now they’re whispering about October. Eventually, they might admit the truth—that they could still be there in November, or even later.

One of the earliest rumours from credible sources on Ibrox forums – and they have been on the ball with this one in spite of the spin out of the club itself, filtered through fan media – suggested that the real target date is none other than the January derby.

If that’s true, it’s no wonder they won’t admit it.

Half a season at Hampden, and no amount of glitter or signs is going to make that palatable. Had they been honest from the start, they might have managed expectations. Instead, they’re trying to cover up a shambles with a bit of window dressing.

Thanks to everyone (no, really) who posted to remind me that Der Ibrox Club didn’t win in midweek. I am, of course, aware of it. And look! I could have changed it if I wanted to. But I’m away this weekend and to be honest I don’t care enough to! You all knew what I meant!