You really do come across some amazing stuff in the Scottish mainstream media, don’t you? I stumbled upon a little piece the other day that had me laughing.
The Record – naturally – published an article with a former Ibrox player talking up the club’s chances. But they couldn’t resist calling him a “Celtic Slayer.”
The headline didn’t name the player, so I had no idea who they were talking about. But that phrase was so absurdly specific I had to check it out, just to find out who this “Celtic Slayer” was and what on earth he’d done to earn such a title.
And the player? Helander. Do you even remember him? Most Ibrox fans probably don’t. He barely played, spent ages on the treatment table, and cost them a small fortune. But he scored once against us, and that, apparently, makes him a Celtic Slayer.
I think this is a complete misuse of language.
If a single goal qualifies you as a “slayer” these days, then the term has truly lost all meaning. It used to be that you had to score repeatedly, in big matches, to earn a moniker like that. But now they hand it out to anyone with a solitary goal.
By that standard, Todd Cantwell should get the title, too, just to keep up the tradition and maintain whatever “standard” they’re aiming for.
Sure, Helander’s goal was a match-winner, but does that make him a club legend? Does he really get to strut around for the rest of his life, telling everyone he “slayed” Celtic? Cerny is another example. He scored against us years ago for Ajax, and the Ibrox fans talk about him as if he’s a hero for it. Is that really all it takes now to become a “cult” figure over there?
This brings me to a broader question: how many “Celtic Slayers” do they have at this point? And who are the “Rangers Slayers” or “Sevco Slayers”?
In my book, the title “slayer” requires something a bit more substantial—multiple goals over several seasons, in matches that matter.
Odsonne Edouard, Moussa Dembele, and Kyogo Furuhashi all fit that bill. They’ve earned the title with consistent performances and crucial goals.
Even Idah, for all his talent, hasn’t quite reached that status.
Yes, he’s scored a cup final winner, but it takes more than one big goal to be a true “slayer.” If he’d managed a winner at Ibrox as well, which he almost did, he’d be close, but still not quite there. However, if he bags a couple this season, then he’s absolutely in line for the accolade.
They have less players to cheer for in this regard, because their number of “match winners” against us are few and far between. Which is why Helander has been granted the title.
The desperation over there is real, and their media allies are only too happy to indulge it. They’ll slap the “slayer” label on anyone for a single goal, even a player whose contribution to the club is barely more than a footnote. The press can be hilariously oblivious at times—perhaps that’s their secret to longevity, keeping us entertained in ways they never intended.
Certainly, it has nothing to do with the way they deliver the news.
Wouldn’t know if this is online or actually in that rag , it’s a blatantly obvious heading to attempt to sell a copy.
Shows them up for what they are, they must really be struggling to flog that rag tag dross to people, usually stupid sevco Klan.
I wonder if Sevco have a club magazine called what they’d call (certainly not me though – The ‘Rangers’ View)…
If they actually did I’d imagine it’d be less biased than what’s reported about on here regarding The Scummy Record probably the worst of all The Scummy’s of The Scummy Scottish Football Media !