More fantasy football stories about Ibrox signings from The Record’s discredited hack.

Earlier, I mentioned that I’d be covering two articles today by the notoriously unreliable Daily Record writer, Mark Pirie, and this is the second one. The first one, which I already addressed, involved his fabrications about Reo Hatate, as he concocted a story out of thin air to justify an article on the “issues” supposedly facing Celtic’s new head of football operations, Paul Tisdale. This second article? It’s even more of a retreat from reality.

The board at Ibrox has made its situation abundantly clear. They don’t have the funds to go on a major transfer spending spree. They are desperately trying to trim the wage bill while still piecing together something that resembles an SPFL title challenge.

In private, they’ve assured Philippe Clement that there will be some money available in January, but let’s be real: whatever funds they find won’t come anywhere near the millions they need to mount a serious campaign.

There might be enough for a loan signing or two. If they can offload a player and free up some wages, perhaps they’ll manage an actual signing. This is the reality the club is dealing with.

As I’ve said repeatedly on this blog, this is a club that hasn’t had to live within its means for over a decade—since it was founded, in fact. The previous Ibrox club didn’t have to live within its means for more than 20 years. For three decades now, Ibrox supporters haven’t watched a club that was paid for with their own money. That’s a generational problem.

I get that breaking a habit like that isn’t easy. I understand that facing this kind of reality is tough. It’s not something anyone would enjoy. So yes, I can accept that there will be lapses in judgement—little flights of fantasy—as they try to come to terms with their financial situation. What I can’t accept is people like Pirie feeding them absolute nonsense by the bucketload.

Does Pirie even believe half of what he writes? Does he believe any of it, or is he just fishing for clicks? From the perspective of someone who simply wants the media to do its job properly, I’m not sure which scenario is worse: a journalist who knowingly publishes lies, or one who doesn’t know the difference between fantasy and reality.

Either way, it’s a sorry state of affairs for Scottish football journalism.

This isn’t just a Pirie problem; it’s an industry-wide one. If the Scottish sports media were in a healthier condition, people like Pirie wouldn’t have jobs. Yet here we are, with him writing garbage and linking Ibrox with a player like Jordan Henderson, who is currently at Ajax on an eye-watering salary. The very idea is preposterous. As if that’s not mad enough, Pirie doubles down by continuing to push the discredited Morgan Whittaker saga.

Where does he think the money for Henderson would come from? Where does he think they’re getting the cash to sign Whittaker? It’s absolute fantasy, and it’s frustrating that Pirie keeps recycling these same tired, baseless stories.

The Whittaker rumour has been around for a while.

He’s been linked with a move to Ibrox on three separate occasions now, and every time it’s ended the same way: no deal. Why? Because every single time, his club has wanted more than Ibrox could afford to pay. Not more than they wanted to pay—more than they could pay. It’s pie in the sky stuff, and it’s been proven again and again.

In a way, I’m almost grateful for it. Because as long as the media continues to peddle this sort of nonsense, sections of their fan base will continue to believe that these moves are possible. They’ll cling to these delusions, and in doing so, they’ll put even more pressure on their club’s board and management when reality fails to meet these absurd expectations.

But let’s be honest: the Ibrox club can’t meet those expectations. They can’t afford to make the big signings their fans are clamouring for. The sooner that reality is accepted, the better off they’ll be. But as long as people like Pirie keep serving up these fantastical stories, they’re only prolonging the agony for those who desperately need a reality check.

This situation breaks down into two issues for me. The first is what’s best for Celtic. What’s best for us is continued turmoil at Ibrox, and if the media wants to help with that, then fine. They don’t even understand how much they’re contributing to the mess over there. It’s people like Pirie doing this sort of stuff that does the most damage to their club, and I believe that 100%. So yes, I’ll admit it: from that perspective, I’m happy for him to keep it up.

But then there’s the second issue, and it’s one I care about. It’s the issue of journalistic integrity and whether the media can actually do its job properly. A functioning press is vital. We need a media that doesn’t lie, doesn’t make things up, and doesn’t replace reality with fantasy. That’s where I have a problem with Pirie, and others like him, at that rag of a newspaper. They’re turning out drivel, day after day, and passing it off as journalism.

When we talk about a “vintage” Mark Pirie day, that’s no compliment. In fact, it’s one of the most damning things I could say about him. He’s found a new low, dredged the gutter in ways that should make him, and the people who pay him, pause for thought. But that’s the real issue here, isn’t it? The Daily Record employs far too many people like him, and until that changes, we’ll keep seeing this kind of nonsense pumped out with no regard for the truth.

In the end, this isn’t just a failure of Pirie as an individual. It’s a failure of an entire industry that has lost sight of what journalism is supposed to be.