There’s a wonderful West Wing moment that I often think about on days like today. It comes when the President calls Leo McGarry, his Chief of Staff, into the White House Situation Room to watch a ballistic missile defence test.
In the show, Leo McGarry is convinced the test will be successful; the President is equally convinced that it won’t be. But he attends the test anyway—not with any expectation of being impressed, but simply to make his point.
The test fails, of course. When McGarry asks how close the shell came to hitting the missile it was targeting, he’s told it missed by over 100 miles—something he initially mistakes for feet. Not that it matters; if you miss a ballistic missile by 100 feet, you might as well miss it by 100 miles. The outcome is the same.
On the way out, the President turns to Leo and says, “I think the words you’re looking for are, ‘Oh, good grief.’”
It’s a reference to Peanuts.
On the way to the meeting, the President had told Leo the story of how Lucy would hold a football for Charlie Brown to kick and, every time, she’d pull away at the last moment, Charlie Brown would miss the ball and it would leaving him flat on his backside.
And yet Charlie kept trying, convinced each time that this would be the moment Lucy wouldn’t trick him.
I’ve never been much of a Peanuts fan, but I’ve always been tickled by that image of Charlie Brown running up to kick the ball, only to land on his backside. And those immortal words, “Oh, good grief.”
It’s the perfect distillation of gullibility and futility—a beautiful, succinct image.
It should be obvious by now who it reminds me of.
And I ask myself, over and over again: why do they do it to themselves? How can they do it to themselves? How can they delude themselves so often into thinking this time they’ll kick the ball, that this time something won’t snatch it away at the last moment, leaving them looking foolish yet again?
If they were capable of any self-analysis, they’d recognise the pattern and stop. But as we often say here, “It’s the hope that kills them.” As long as they have hope, they’ll keep making the same mistake, driven by demons we cannot understand—demons that push them into these ridiculous situations. Hope, then, is the real enemy. Hope that this time, Lucy will let Charlie Brown kick the ball. It never happens.
Being a Celtic fan has taught me many things, but over the last 15 years, patience has been the most valuable lesson.
In 2009, I wrote an article entitled The End of Rangers? I knew something terrible was going to happen to that club. It didn’t happen for another three years, but the numbers didn’t lie. The financial consequences of the subprime mortgage crisis were being felt worldwide, and I knew the markets David Murray was involved in were being pummelled from every side. The chances of him holding his empire together were somewhere between slim and none.
By that point, they were so dependent on his financial largesse that they could never cope without it. So, I knew dark days lay ahead for them. I had to be patient, even as myself and others repeatedly pointed out their perilous situation and were dismissed as crazy—by their fans and even some of our own.
But when you know, you know. You must trust that you’ve read the data, understood it, and that the consequences you foresee will prevail. If you’ve ever watched The Big Short, you’ll know the guys who bet big against the housing market endured the same scrutiny, the same doubts, the same ridicule. But they trusted their analysis. They knew what was coming, bet big, and won.
It’s similar here. Those of us who have watched the Ibrox club closely this season, who’ve seen nearly all their live games, know exactly what they are. We know they’re unimpressive, unreliable, and weak in key positions. We know their manager is clueless. So, every time the hype machine gears up, every time the media talks about revivals, recoveries, and turnarounds, we know all we have to do is wait. “Wait a while,” we say. “We’ll see. We’ll see who’s really turning things around.”
The media in this country doesn’t make it easy. As Tom Petty said, “The waiting is the hardest part.” They make it harder by endlessly banging on about how good the Ibrox club is getting during these fleeting moments of misplaced optimism.
But that makes it all the sweeter when moments like this come along—moments of amused contemplation as you look back on the last few weeks and see how it’s all unravelled. Yesterday, in Paisley, was one of those moments.
Everything is different. For a start, no one fears them anymore. Every club knows they’re vulnerable, every club knows they can be beaten. That knowledge emboldens every team that comes up against them.
They’re now facing a major rival that is better organised, better managed, richer, and more successful.
They’ve been well and truly put in their place, yet they still don’t seem to grasp it.
Supremacy? Yes, there’s still an element of that arrogance, an element of that egotism.
But let’s not kid ourselves—there’s also an element of sheer stupidity.
They’ve convinced themselves that a couple of results against modest clubs and taking a cup final to penalties against a Celtic side well off its best somehow represents a giant leap forward, a great stride of progress that would fix everything. This despite failing to change a single one of the underlying fundamentals.
That’s why yesterday was inevitable. All we required was patience.
We just had to wait.
Their fans showed up at that game full of expectation, riding high, their minds already leaping ahead to January, where they imagined the gap would be cut to six points. They saw the new year as the start of the greatest comeback ever seen. And they believed every bit of it.
I can picture the shocked expressions on some of those faces as they left the ground yesterday. I think of Charlie Brown lying flat in the dirt, staring up at the sky, wondering how he could have been so stupid, how he could have let himself fall for it all over again.
And I can imagine that silent, sullen, angry trudge back to the cars, the trains, the buses. Those fans heading home, many of them too stunned to speak, unable to process what just happened.
Guys, I think the words you’re looking for are: “Oh, good grief.”
Hi mate. Will there be a Fear and Loathing article?
Tho clemmont says, somethin along the lines if ‘ if we get 2 points for the first half and 1 point for the 2nd, thats 90 minutes and we get 3 points ‘ !! No bad. This guy is an absolute specialist at garbled sh***, every time he drops points. And always talks as if it’s only his team that created chances. But don’t mention tho, the ST.M shot that hit the underside of the bar at 1-1 eh ! And far as ah know, ye don’t get points for each half.
Great read! Spot on.
Forget Charlie Brown.What about poor John Brown ?.
As mentioned before,” It’s better to be unhappy and know the worst than to be happy in a Fool’s Paradise”
Dostoevsky.
Fine article James …I do believe that gross stupidity and mass delusion, have overtaken all other characteristics they display.
When they waffle on about the title race being back on, the gap closing and hope springs eternal, it is important to take all this with a pinch of salt.
That they continually falter and fail, is just them !
When will they ever learn …the answer to that is probably never !
It is sweet, and hilarious when they receive a bloodied nose, after the hopeium wears off…
We Celtic fans will continue to savour our success with dignity and respect …this ensures that, regardless of surrounding circumstances, we remain pragmatic and realistic!
One day, the Ibrokes hordes, and their media sycophants may well wake up ! HH
There’s Dumb and Dumber……………………………………………………………………………………….
and then there’s the huns.
Stupidest fans in football and always will be.
James you are 100% correct. Aided and abetted by the media, a few mediocre results are seen as a giant leap forward. But as I have said on more than one occasion, the league table never lies.
Their away record in the league is abysmal.
They have won just three on the road, drawn one and lost four from eight matches. Just 10 points taken from a possible 24. But the really revealing statistic is that they are the second poorest in terms of goals scored on the road, only 7 scored and 8 lost. Only Ross County have scored fewer away goals with 5.
Motherwell, Aberdeen, St Mirren, Hibs and Kilmarnock are well into double figures for away goals. St Johnstone at the foot of the table have scored 12 away goals and we are on 23 away goals
Hardly tangible evidence of a giant leap forward. But they will clutch at any straw.
Fluk me James but you are cruel.
Excellent piece outlining their sheer pigheadedness.
They always want shortcuts, a quick fix, a lever, other people’s money, a Sugar Daddy White knight on a blinding charger, amenable Officials to ease their onwards path.
12 years they’ve wasted, blown over £100 MILLLION QUID and they’re no further forwards.
They opted to Go Big from the start instead of growing their Club & football infrastructure.
Their arrogance and sense of entitlement has blinded them to the fact that you have to do the hard graft, follow the boring sustainable route to achievement. They ARE NOT the Rangers of Old. They don’t have a ‘Friendly’ Bank Manager to bankroll them. Even the ‘Staunchest’of their ‘Brown Brogue’ wearing financial backers have limited raidable Pension Pots and disposable Incomes.
After over a decade of mismanagement, on and off the park,the realism that this is as good as it gets is finally dawning on some of their support. The present drive, by the ‘Board’ to trim the Budget to meet EUFA FSR will inevitably lead to more downsizing, not just of the playing staff but of the organisation as a whole. The success or not of this endeavour will depend on maintaining or exceeding current ‘Revenue’ alongside reducing Costs. This will necessitate the willingness of the support to continue to put their hands in their pockets as the ‘fare’ on the Park either remains static or deteriorates still further until the Organisational changes start to bear fruit. This will be a long term project requiring patience and realistic expectations which are traits not normally associated with the Ibrox clientele. It will be a bumpy ride that tests their understanding of the real meaning of’Loyal’.
Personally, I don’t see them doing it. There will be a lot of ‘Walking Away’ and I expect an Admin event along the way with plenty of of ‘Ice Cream & Jelly’ breaks for us.
SFATHENADIROFCHIFTINESS : –
That my friend has surely to be ‘ze post of ze year’ !
I don’t think even Fillipe Fillop would disagree with that pure fab ascertation !!!!
Charlie Brown analogy is sheer genius ????
The Headline…
‘Oh Good Grief’ –
Yeah – It actually is Fuckin Good Grief !!!!!