If there’s one thing I’ve often found comical—and slightly absurd—in recent years, it’s this idea that we have body language experts sitting in the stands or at home, analysing the behaviour of every player in our team so they can rush onto social media and post their thoughts about how happy those players look.
There’s a great old show called Lie to Me. It stars Tim Roth as an expert in body language, focusing on what are called micro expressions—those tiny changes in your face that some claim can reveal your deepest thoughts.
It’s a really good show. If you’re ever sitting one afternoon or evening and happen to find an episode, it’s well worth watching. Even the bad episodes are decent, and there weren’t many of them across its three seasons.
But the so-called science behind it doesn’t have much real-world application. Micro expressions aren’t used in law enforcement, politics, or in courtrooms. I’m sure there are private companies that hire experts to scrutinize job applicants or people up for promotions, but beyond that, I’ve never heard of it.
And that’s because the science it’s based on is closer to pseudoscience. It’s not nearly as advanced as the show makes it look and probably never will be—unless AI does something spectacular. And if you’re willing to trust a computer that thinks it can tell what you’re thinking just by analysing your face, you’re in a very small club.
That’s why I laugh at these “body language experts” in our support and in the media. They’re probably unaware that millions upon millions have been spent studying body language, and we’re still no further forward in understanding it in any way that has a practical application. So how on earth is someone with no training and no knowledge of the subject supposed to know what they’re seeing? And why should the rest of us take them seriously when they claim they do?
The reason this is back in the spotlight is because too many people were watching Kyogo’s reaction to scoring at the weekend instead of enjoying the goals themselves. Apparently, he didn’t celebrate “properly,” so now some are asking, “What does that mean?” This is just the latest in a pattern I’ve noticed over the years, where people think they can tell whether a player is happy at the club by how they celebrate—or don’t celebrate—a goal, whether they walk straight off the pitch at full-time, or if they clap hands with the manager as they leave the field.
It seems like some people are desperate to scare themselves or can’t wait to spook others with their insights. I pay no attention to any of it because it’s not worth the energy. Did Kyogo celebrate his goals “properly”? I don’t know, and I don’t care. I’m just glad he scored them. And what does “properly” even mean in this context?
Some of our fans need to stop with this nonsense. I don’t remember Celtic fans of a decade ago being this easily rattled or so quick to indulge in wild speculation. And it’s not just our supporters—it’s everywhere these days.
Take The Traitors, for example.
I’m a big fan of that show, but I never cease to be amazed by the crazy theories people come up with at the round table. One offhand comment, one wrong facial expression, one little slip-up, and someone is branded a traitor. Act too nice and you’re overcompensating. Sit quietly and you’re trying to keep a low profile. None of it is based on proper observation or solid evidence, and key facts are often ignored so people can dive down rabbit holes.
It’s the same in football. Kyogo changed his agent last year, so naturally, some people think he’s angling for a move.
And if you believe that, you’ll find evidence everywhere—like how he celebrated (or didn’t celebrate) at the weekend. Now the Atlanta story is being tied into it, and suddenly there’s a theory that he’s either saying goodbye or staying against his will. Why? Because he changed agents, and “there are no coincidences.”
Except there are coincidences.
Intelligence agents are taught to take a paradoxical approach; do not believe in coincidences … but remember that they happen all the time. In short, they are taught to never dismiss anything outright; if you think you see a pattern, investigate further because that’s worthwhile, but do not to jump to conclusions based on them.
The truth is, if you look hard enough for a pattern, you’ll convince yourself you’ve found one, and if you’re stuck on a theory and determined to prove it, you’ll find proof even if it’s not there. That’s confirmation bias, and it’s exactly what’s happening here.
If you’re determined to believe Kyogo is unhappy or on the move, you’ll find “proof” somewhere—how he walks onto the pitch, how he walks off it, how he plays, or how he celebrates his goals.
Honestly, it fascinates me how wrapped up in this some people get. Brendan Rodgers spoke about it today, addressing it rationally, even though I don’t think it’s a rational subject.
He sees Kyogo every day and has a much better insight than anyone watching 90 minutes on TV. And Brendan says Kyogo is happy. Brendan says Kyogo is determined to keep on scoring for the team.
That’s good enough for me.
Photo by Ross Parker/SNS Group via Getty Images
Another great thought provoking article James, though I’m not sure people who play poker for a living would agree with your analysis.
So called “tells” in poker is just a smokescreen. Success is the result of probability analysis and has been in all gambling since the days of Pascal and Fermat.
I stand corrected biffo67, that’s amateur poker players I’m talking about, and I’m not even that! I’ve watched a couple of good movies about poker players and they follow your description!
Why did Brendan feel the need to comment on it?
Was he specifically asked about it by the partisan SMSM ‘Churnalists’ ?
SFA – he was asked about it and gave it short shrift.
It’s either confirmation bias, or, given the allegiances of the laptop loyal, pishful thinking.
There’s a lot of wishful thinking in our sycophantic smsm!
However, the lies spun told by these charlatans far outweighs their wishful thinking!
Anything they can try to muster that will cast positive moonbeams over Ibrokes way, and attempt to create dark clouds over our club, is what they do best ( or worst !)
That’s why the majority of them have zero credibility!
The wee man is scoring goals and winning games for us ! That’s all we need to concern ourselves with for now, and enjoy him whilst he’s here ! HH
Kyogo is fine but if he wanted to leave we probably wouldn’t know anyway because he’s a proper professional
Fuck’s sake – Body Language Experts…
More like Boyde Language Sexperts !
Player disnae dae cart wheels efter scoring goal, body language expert says he must be wantin away. Gonnae gie’s peace.