Yesterday, I posted a piece about the Ibrox fans complaining about Celtic’s banner on Tuesday night, commemorating the life of the Republican prisoner Bik McFarlane, and how they responded the following night with their own banner criticising him.
I said I found it extraordinary that supporters of a club in the midst of unprecedented turmoil could be so focused on fluff, nonsense, and what’s happening elsewhere. I didn’t even know the half of it.
This morning, my old man played me a bit of radio footage that took my breath away. Just when you think you’ve seen and heard it all, we have a new conspiracy theory: Celtic are supposedly gaining an unfair advantage because of the number of balls we have around the pitch on match day.
According to the guy, this violates some SPFL rule, which—honestly—I couldn’t even be bothered to dig too deep into. It seems that there’s been a change in the rules, hence the cones around the pitch, but nothing at all on the number of balls you’re allowed to have in use. I mean, who actually cares?
But I assume we’re within the regulations, since if we weren’t someone other than the guy on the radio would have spotted it by now.
But honestly, this is what they do. This is what their forums are filled with—bizarre, nonsensical craziness like this. They’re constantly trying to discredit Celtic’s achievements or explain them away as a result of cheating, manipulation, or some grand conspiracy. The Unseen Fenian Hand is apparently much busier and has a far longer reach than any of us ever imagined.
But someone actually did this. One of their fans actually counted the number of balls around the pitch and came up with the answer: 18. And based on that answer, he thinks we’re gaining some unfair sporting advantage.
I remember when the Ibrox club itself was getting praised in the Daily Record for using the multi-ball system during European games. It was allegedly a “secret weapon”—although it wasn’t secret and wasn’t a weapon, given that almost every club in Europe was doing exactly the same thing. I wrote about it at the time, highlighting it as a particularly ridiculous example of the media searching for a pro-Ibrox spin.
Does multi-ball have any real impact on a game?
Yes, in the most minor way—by speeding up play when the opposition might want to slow it down. But beyond that? Virtually none. Yet the fact that we’re good at what we do, that we’ve been on such a strong run, that we’re so far clear in the league, and that we’ve scored so many goals while conceding so few—this clearly drives them crazy. In their madness, they’re always trying to find an explanation other than the obvious one: Celtic are simply better.
What a desperate little bunch they are. How pitiful. Scrambling around, looking for excuses, trying to justify their own hatred.
As I said in the previous piece about their reaction to our banner, you’d think these people had nothing else going on. You’d think they were like fans of an unexciting club, following a team who just does the business without making extraneous headlines. We’re going for a treble right now, but our universe is an oasis of calm.
Their club, on the other hand, is anything but. It is mired in crisis. Possibly even in an existential fight—though we don’t know that yet. No one knows the full identities of those involved in the takeover attempt. No one knows what their actual plans are. There’s a lot of vague, wishy-washy hope being broadcast, but not much in the way of actual information.
I read one comment today from Paul Robinson, the former Leeds player and now radio pundit, claiming that their board hadn’t invested much in the team but had rebuilt the stadium. So I went looking for what they’ve supposedly done to Elland Road. No surprise—it turns out they’ve done absolutely nothing.
It’s just not clear what these people brought to the table at Leeds, and it’s just not clear what they’re bringing to the table at Ibrox—if they’re even involved in this takeover at all. What is clear is that any American-led deal is likely to be a leveraged buyout, meaning the club itself will swallow the cost. And if they think times are hard now, wait until they’ve got a financial millstone like that around their necks.
But do their fans care? Apparently not. They’re in a hurry to see this deal done so the manager can find out how big the transfer war chest will be. They’re thrilled at the prospect of those who’ve been keeping the lights on selling up and leaving, rather than continuing to fund the club. Which begs the question—if it were our club, who would keep the lights on once they’re gone? That doesn’t seem to be an important consideration for their supporters.
No, the banners our fans display and the number of balls around our pitch—these are the truly important things to the Ibrox fanbase. These are the things that matter. These are the things worth commenting on. These are the things worth calling into national radio to talk about.
I can’t say it more clearly: these people deserve everything they get. Everything that’s coming to them. And more.
Photo by ANDY BUCHANAN/AFP via Getty Images
Theyre fkn daft, end of. One thing for me tho that absolutely sticks out this week, is once again, the media here. The DR eagerly jumped on the banner at CP on Tuesday tae shame our support. And yet not one word since, of the sectarian poison sang out, loud and clear from start tae finish, in their Wednesday game. Not one. Completely sums the bastards right up. Would say they were a joke, but it’s no even funny. Hypocritical scumbags, masqueradin as journalists.
And yet d’ya know what Kevan – There are still two imbecilic* Celtic supporters on my street that will be today walking into the shop up the road and buying The Daily Scummy (Record)…
It’s guys like them that are half keeping the bastards alive if only on life support machines…
Thousands on Wallow Wallow clearly buy that Scummy and other Scummy’s and admit this openly on that forum and believe absolutely EVERYTHING they have paid Pathological Liars to feed them…
A helluva lot on CQN buy them as well as they are the exact same –
Well – It’ll never be me for sure ! – Starve The Bastards to DEATH !!!
*(I know I called two Celtic supporters who buy The Scummy Record as imbecilic but it’s only in the context of them going to purchase their Scummy’s – I did challenge them as to why they were financially aiding and abetting a rag that truly and utterly DETESTS Celtic and it’s support an they said – “it was something to do” – Which is read it I presume)…
All I can say is it must be a sad and lonely existence if that’s classed as ‘something to do’ !!!
Aye seen the clip you’ve mentioned James, Marvin Andrews makes a clown out of him by stating that the balls are used by both teams , not exclusively for Celtic, then I think the caller then realised he’d made a cunt of himself.
The klanbase are top scale loonies, hopefully this klown gets pelters now the clip is viral.
Hopefully Jim – But d’ya know what – He won’t give a Continental Fuck…
None of them bloody well do whatsoever –
The best thing we can do is enjoy their pain in their doppelgänger guise as SEVCO…
And by fuck we haven’t half done that since the glorious day that ‘Rangers’ booted the bucket for sure !
They should be more concerned about their own players lack of balls.
Ha Ha – Very good indeed Johnny !!!
The alleged, supposed, definitely maybe new Ranjurs owners will pass the SFA test with flying colours ,they have a presidential pardon for paying off a judge for $400,000 for a casino licence .So if dodgy Dave can pass these folks will be sweet .
But the Yorks are aggressive investors the SEvCo just don’t fit the bill ,so it’s a strange one .Also honestly you are telling me people that have given 100 million dollars to catholic institutions to help aid the catholic faith and spread the catholic message are interested in an Anti- Catholic club , I’m sure after parting with 100 million to catholic causes you’ll sit and hum along to the songbook . It’s all a bit strange , If it’s to flip them , a pump and dump then ok . Also not one official statement from any the names mentioned .
Football is played with a ball on a pitch. Ball goes off the pitch and a ball then goes back onto the pitch to continue playing football. The amount of balls not on the pitch, well show me the relevance to playing football.
If you’re anti football and a supporter of an anti footballing club then the fewer balls around to get back on the pitch the better.
If it shoving, pulling, kicking, lying down when you should be on the job, pushing opposition players around even into the net then wrestling is the game for you
Can u imagine wee bazza wi a war chest.. Leaving that out there.
Of course it gives us an advantage, the more time the ball is in play the more goals we’ll score. It’s the same reason all the clowns start time wasting in the first half when they play against us, except time wasting is cheating and getting the game going again quickly isn’t.
Barry Ferguson said after the Killie game that he wasn’t afraid to make tough decisions. It’s a wonder then that he didn’t decide to leave Alloa before they sacked him for being a failure.
Aye agree johnny, he wasn’t afraid to make a tough decision when he signed everything over to his wife when he was heading for bankruptcy.
He had to get his orgasm before he / was booted out Johnny…
Send a thug out tomaim a Celtic player – And he did – So job done !
EDIT = *To maim and not (tomaim) as it reads !
sounds like a load of balls.