Cundy was stupid to fall for the Mourinho nonsense. Celtic fans aren’t so daft.

Last weekend, on the podcast, Eric opened up with a short rant about Jason Cundy. I found it hilarious, and I thought he captured Cundy and his personality very well indeed.

Cundy is one of those guys I personally find it hard to get terribly upset about because I think he’s an idiot. He’s just not worth getting all that emotional over. Nevertheless, sometimes he says something that justifies commentary.

And last week was no exception because he started talking about José Mourinho’s comments about the possibility of coaching one of the two Glasgow clubs. Cundy claimed this was Mourinho trying to start a rumour, but in fact, it’s people like Cundy who are starting the rumours, biting at the bait Mourinho dangled in front of them. Sensible people weren’t convinced in the slightest by what Mourinho was saying. Most of them don’t care anyway.

There’s a thing with a lot of English commentators—and a fair few Scottish ones too, to be fair—where they focus far too much on the celebrity culture of football. This is mostly a problem in England, though, where far too many figures in the game are treated as if their pronouncements are holy writ, where ex-players generate an awful lot of headlines just by opening their mouths.

Since Mourinho sat in front of the media and declared himself “The Special One,” he has been the darling of a section of the English press. And in some ways, this has covered a multitude of sins, because Mourinho’s career has been on the downslope for a while now. But these people are so entrenched in their admiration for him that they still take seriously a lot of what comes out of his mouth—and an awful lot of what comes out of Mourinho’s mouth is purely for the sake of theatre.

In a lot of ways, we created José Mourinho. That might be an unfair statement, but he really announced himself as a top-class coach by winning the UEFA Cup final against us. A year later, of course, his career was elevated to a whole new height when he won the Champions League. There was no question at the time that he was one of the best coaches on the planet, and it was only a matter of time before he ended up in England.

I’ve written before about the peculiar English arrogance of that first Chelsea press conference, where he was asked a lot of condescending questions about whether or not he thought he was ready for the challenge of managing in the EPL—when, as he pointed out, he’d already won a Champions League with an unfancied team. That’s when he referred to himself as “The Special One” and launched the media persona that would define him from then on. He knows how to play the media like a fiddle, and especially the English media. But I’ve got to be honest, he’s not bad at playing the Scottish media either.

Do I believe for one second that there’s any likelihood of Mourinho taking a job in Scotland? Absolutely not. Any remote possibility that exists would be years down the line, after a long period out of the spotlight, when he could be the big fish in a small pond. Because right now, Mourinho would be just another manager in England. And because he wouldn’t get a top job at a top club, he’d forever be rattling the bars trying to get the attention of the press and the watching world.

If managing in Scotland had any appeal at all, it would be that he would command the media in every way. They would be eating out of his hand on a permanent basis. And there is something perversely fascinating about the idea of Mourinho up here—criticising the SFA, criticising referees, taking digs at rival managers, sometimes slating his own players, maybe even the occasional spat with the fans. But all of it would be in furtherance of the José Mourinho cause, not the cause of his club.

That is forever the problem with Mourinho. After a while, he starts becoming the centre of his own story. It’s not enough for him to get the team playing well—he has to get the credit for the team playing well. It’s not enough for him to take credit—the media has to pay homage. He thrives on drama. He loves drama. And in the absence of being able to hold his audience in thrall with his managerial talents, he more and more resorts to creating chaos around him.

Cundy, of course, is a complete fool, so it’s no surprise that he doesn’t realise he’s being used as a little puppet, dancing on Mourinho’s strings. But the rest of us have a very clear idea of what José was up to when he made those remarks. Would he come and work in Scotland? Maybe at the tail end of his career, when he has no other options. The real question is whether either of the Glasgow clubs would want him. And as far as Celtic is concerned, it would be a lot of money for a lot of trouble and not much in terms of guaranteed results. But then, we’re not the club addicted to bling anyway.

Everyone involved in the media, whether here or south of the border, played their pre-assigned roles as willing fools. Because not only was Mourinho putting his name out there for the future—not to Scotland, but just in general—there was also an element of, “Yes, of course, I would one day think about gracing this puny little place with my wondrous presence.” And that’s the real essence of the man. The egotism. The arrogance. The condescension. And how stupid they look for not realising it.

Photo by Ahmad Mora – UEFA/UEFA via Getty Images