Way back in the sands of time, a guy called Dale Carnegie wrote one of the best books in history. It’s actually a book I’ve read several times, learned a lot from, and still like to dabble into once in a while when I feel I need a refresher.
The book is called How To Win Friends And Influence People, and it is brilliant. It still has a lot of contemporary relevance.
The Union Brats have not read it. At all.
They don’t seem to know how to win friends. They certainly don’t know how to influence people. In the months I’ve been watching them, they’ve completely failed to capture the attention of their fellow fans. They’ve completely failed to secure their support. They’ve completely failed to build a broad-based coalition of the sort necessary for anyone who wants to implement change or make a major splash.
Since they staged their pitiful eyebrow-raising walkout – which was booed by their own fans – they have been in savage decline, both in terms of relevance and in terms of the impact they can have on goings-on within and around their club. Last week they were warned by the club that it will consider closing their section entirely unless they fall into line. They’ve seen members banned over the racist banner that got them into trouble with UEFA. And to cap it all off, the Green Brigade nicked their gear.
They’re a joke. And instead of recognising that it’s infantile, stupid behaviour and a colossal failure to read the room that has made them a joke, they continue to act like a joke. They continue to show a complete lack of self-awareness in all of their activities – as exemplified by their decision to throw a party in the street prior to the game against Athletic Bilbao this midweek.
Their club is in a dismal, dark, and terrible place.
Most fans are going to that game with trepidation, not expectation. At the weekend they were thoroughly and comfortably beaten by Hibs, and have struggled to string more than a couple of results together at a time. They’re watching as their rivals – that would be us – walk to a league title, even though we’re not in great form right now, and they know we’re on the brink of a domestic clean sweep.
That’ll make it 10 domestic trophies out of the last 12 which have ended up at Celtic Park. That statistic should embarrass every single one of them. The one thing they cling to is that they’ve progressed in Europe, but it took penalty kicks to get them past an ageing, depleted Fenerbahçe side in the last round.
Most people recognise that it’s only a matter of time before something cataclysmic happens – as if the result against Hibs wasn’t proof enough. Five home defeats in a row has already made history. Few would bet against Bilbao making it six. The La Liga side are nobody’s fools.
But the Union Brats most definitely are.
This is a mad thing for them to be doing. Absolutely mad.
A street party – for what exactly?
Maybe they’ll throw one at the end of the season too. Maybe they’re planning to celebrate a season of failure. I find it extraordinary. I’m sure their fellow fans find it extraordinary too. And that’s what I mean about a failure to read the room. That’s what a failure to win friends and influence people looks like.
It will antagonise the police – but the police have already said they will handle it “appropriately,” which means light touch, which means no kettling, which means that what the Green Brigade and Celtic fans were subjected to, they won’t be subjected to. There will be fireworks and there will be flares. Those things are illegal, but that will be ignored. “Better outside the ground than inside it” will be their thinking – because if they do it inside, the stand gets closed.
They’re a shambles. Just like their club. All over the place. They haven’t a clue what they’re doing. They haven’t a clue how to handle the crisis that has enveloped them. And it is a crisis. As I’ve said right from the moment their own fans booed when they tried to stage that walkout and their credibility was shot, this is a major problem. There is an existential risk now. They might not see next season.
The club has now publicly rebuked them on more than one occasion and is actually now threatening to disband them. And if you check the forums, there’s very little sympathy or support.
It doesn’t really matter whether that lack of sympathy is genuine or whether it’s a response out of fear that the takeover won’t happen or that there will be UEFA consequences. These guys have failed to build coalitions amongst the broader fan base. They’ve failed to make their case in any proper fashion.
That banner at the European game was such a sophomoric effort that if even one of them had possessed a shred of sense, they would have known it was just incoherent enough that few would actually get the point – and it revealed their complete lack of intellect. But it was just clear enough that UEFA didn’t miss the inference: it was racist.
I think their unravelling has been one of the more spectacular I’ve witnessed in my time doing this job. It’s the first time I’ve seen a fan group so completely alienate everyone around them and fail to gain influence in the places that matter.
I mean, if you’re going to protest against the board, fine – but make sure that when you decide to stage a walkout the rest of the fans are on your side. They presumed that, and it cost them. If you’re going to make a political point, make sure it’s a coherent political point – even if that subjects you to some risks.
And if your intent is to make a racist, right-wing political point that might cause controversy, it’s probably not a great time to in a European tie, and when liberal Americans are trying to do due diligence on whether or not they want to buy the directors’ shares.
It’s a cataclysmic failure on every level. And reading Dale Carnegie will do them very little good at this point. The harm has been done. The damage is colossal. Their reputations are in the bin. And throwing a party when there’s nothing to celebrate isn’t going to bring anyone on board who isn’t already drinking your Kool-Aid.
They are, quite simply, the most embarrassing fan group on this island. And they – like their club – are the absolute epitome of failure.
Words fail me when attempting to describe what they actually stand for, an insignificant irrelevance maybe .
Or just a bunch of illiterate embarrassing
fannies. .
Most folks need an excuse to throw a party but obviously not these ‘peepil’
Partying for The Wooden Spoon – Well they are truly insane enough I guess…
And clearly as thick as a big wooden spoon –
Perhaps also a premeditated attempt to knowingly cause ‘trouble’ with the cops on an attempt to get them to stop our Trongate Title Titanic celebrations…
D’ya know what – It’d be just the perfect excuse Dolan would try to use to stop our party !
C’mon guys – Go easy. Thursday (prematch) is their last chance for a party. (and who doesn’t like a party?) It will be more Wake than party methinks.
Oh they’ll party alright and enjoy it. They’ll play and sing their songs of hate whilst dancing their pure gallas fandango probably to the tune of a few bands of the ‘Order’.
To them it doesn’t matter what you, me, us or anyone else thinks or tells them because they’re staunch and to them we’re the enemy. We’re in the wrong, their fellow hun supporters behaviour is seen as going soft for their pursuit of financial stability and the decency required to do so. In the end though when they realise it’s not what they think it’s going to be the brats know that they will return back to the Order; to the superior ones and truth is even the ones playing the game of decency know it and will follow follow.
That’s the top and bottom of it.
They live to Hate.
This was the story that lifted my mood football wise this week. I seen the headline and thought “Party? What are they on about?” Then read it and it is every bit as ridiculous and stupid as the people planning it. Having a party before the big game says it all really and it’ll probably be largely unattended. Maybe it’s because they’re not allowed to sing their favourite songs in the stadium they’ve decided to take them to the streets?