Celtic’s “title party” warning is hyperbolic guff reeking of bitterness.

What a nightmare this city can be at times. What a small, parochial, tiny-minded place, with the lunatics running the asylum.

Today, two community councils – two groups of maybe four or five people who get together every now and again to complain about things – have issued a joint statement.

Directed at our club, it talks about how our reputation is at stake tomorrow because our fans might choose to enjoy themselves after we’ve won the title.

And honestly, I’d be a lot more relaxed about this – and a lot less pissed off reading it – if it wasn’t so full of hyperbolic bullshit.

References to “no-go areas” are hysterical nonsense with no basis in fact. Stuff about residents and citizens being “terrified” is preposterous.

Talk of our fans creating a “trail of urine, faeces, vomit, graffiti and refuse” makes this sound like the slums of some third world city, not Glasgow.

Do these people think that kind of language is necessary here? Do any of them genuinely believe they sound like reasonable, rational people making a reasonable, rational point – and not just embittered clowns talking the worst kind of garbage? Honestly, they’ve lost the plot. They don’t do themselves any favours, and they certainly don’t do this city any.

Our club has tried here.

Our club has made the effort.

Our club has gone to the City Council and tried to negotiate a satisfactory conclusion. We’ve asked for their help in putting something on for the supporters.

They didn’t play ball. They didn’t want to know. And for reasons passing understanding, the club from Ibrox was invited to those talks. Although what it’s got to do with them, I’ve no idea.

Some of the stuff that’s appeared in the coverage of our previous title parties has been absolutely off-the-charts nuts.

I’ve been willing to give the people complaining about this stuff the benefit of the doubt – up to a point. But they’re way past that point now.

Way past it with their reaction to last year’s celebration. And way past it already with their reaction to this year’s, before it’s even taken place.

When was the last time these people uttered a word about Halloween in July, as I’ve always called it?

If it’s permissible for this city to host supremacist rallies and sectarian marches every single year, then a title party is not too much to expect them to be able to handle. It’s not as if the same areas aren’t affected to some degree – because they are.

And I’d bet there’s a lot more faeces and vomit when the dregs of society are dragging themselves through those same streets, boozed up and looking to fight with anybody who doesn’t bow the knee to king and country.

Those marches, by their very nature, are hateful and divisive. Those who attend them are throwbacks to another century. So if no one cares about that enough to make all this noise, then forgive me, but I couldn’t give a shit what they have to say about this. Because I have to question what their agenda is.

Because you know what this sounds like to me, when you read that statement and the kind of language it contains? It reads like “get back to the back of the bus” talk. And I’m sorry, but nah.

Those days are over.

Those days are done.

That time is gone – if it ever existed outside of the tiny minds of a small sect who, for too long, have broadcast their own alleged supremacy with their talk of being “The Peepul.”

I’m not giving the people who wrote and released that statement any further benefit of the doubt. Because the whole thing stinks.

It’s the sort of screed you’d expect out of the Trump White House – full of exaggeration and outright lies. Painting a picture of Glasgow in the aftermath of a street party the same way he did with his “midnight in America” speech at his inauguration.

I’m only surprised they didn’t accuse us of eating the dogs and cats. That’s how deranged it is – in both content and tone.

If these people want to be taken seriously, and they want their message to be taken seriously, then they ought to get serious and put out a serious message. That was not a serious message.

People at Celtic are fully entitled to read that and treat it with derision and contempt. Our fans won’t see a plea from local businesses and residents for a little moderation – they’ll see a bile-soaked rant that libels our whole support and offers absolutely nothing constructive.

In fact, a lot of them are going to read it exactly the way I did: as nothing but an anti-Celtic tirade from people who can’t stomach the idea of our fans enjoying themselves, and can’t handle the sight of our club being successful.

And whether that’s true or not doesn’t even matter.

That’s the perception the statement creates. It comes across as irrational rubbish – and when you read something that crazy, and it wasn’t issued by an Ibrox board of directors or someone like Keevins or Leckie, you really have to wonder whether these “community councils” are run by people who are playing without a full deck of cards.

Plenty of jokers though. That’s for damned sure.

Watch our latest podcast episode; so good the other side can’t stop talking about us!