There’s a delicious irony at play in Scottish football right now, and it’s hard not to laugh as it unfolds. While Celtic fans await the official confirmation of a £4.5 million windfall from Jeremie Frimpong’s looming move to Liverpool, the club across the city is preparing to welcome back a bunch of loan flops whose combined costs amount to a staggering £4.2 million per year in wages alone.
You honestly couldn’t script this. It’s comedy gold.
They are bringing back Rabbi Matondo, Jose Cifuentes, Ben Davies and Kieran Dowell. Four players. Four massive duds. Four spectacular failures of recruitment. And no buyers in sight. That’s £4.2 million a year for footballers who aren’t good enough to get into the team, let alone make an impact in Europe or drive a title challenge.
Meanwhile, Celtic – calm, quiet, competent Celtic – are set to bank £4.5 million just from a sell-on clause. For a player we sold three years ago. A piece of smart forward planning. A contract clause inserted by a proper football department. A deal structured by people who know what they’re doing. And that’s just the Frimpong money. Let’s not forget we’re also expected to raise £3.5 million or so from outgoings this summer – Palma’s situation is one to watch – and the club is in no rush, no panic, no fear.
Contrast? You couldn’t get more of one if you lit it in neon and ran it up the flagpole at Ibrox.
Their club is already dancing dangerously close to the Financial Sustainability Regulations cliff-edge. There are rumblings that UEFA has taken a keen interest in their finances, and now they’ve got this absolute shambles to manage. Four returning players. Zero offers. One almighty problem.
And it gets better. Because this isn’t just a minor headache. This is a full-blown migraine wrapped in a bank statement. Their wage bill is already bloated. Their revenue isn’t increasing. Their European prospects are in question. They’ve got fans demanding a rebuild, demanding signings, demanding progress. And what do they have to show for the last couple of windows?
A quarter of their squad stuck in the revolving door marked “loan to nowhere.”
Matondo was meant to be a gem, a flyer, a £2 million steal. He’s barely looked fit enough for Livingston. Davies? A panic signing who couldn’t defend a sandcastle. Cifuentes? Touted as a “project” with resale value. His next move might be back to Ecuador. And Dowell… honestly, I forget he even played for them. That’s how much of an impact he made.
So what now?
Do they eat the losses? Try to ship them out again and hope someone bites? Or do they keep them, knowing it’s throwing good money after bad? Either way, it’s a disaster. Every one of those guys is a black hole for their budget. And all of this at a time when they’ve just unveiled yet another new kit, begging fans to fork out again, and they’re already flogging season tickets like there’s no tomorrow.
Let’s be real here – that boardroom is in chaos. Whether it’s Bennett and his pals or the new American overlords waiting in the wings, they’re staring at a problem with no easy fix. And now they’ve got a fanbase who are watching us pull in millions without even lifting a finger, and wondering, “Why can’t we be like that?”
It’s not just that we’re making money. It’s how we’re doing it. Frimpong wasn’t a record sale at the time, but we knew he had potential. We built that clause into the deal because that’s how grown-up football clubs operate. We know talent. We develop it. And we benefit from it long after they leave. It’s a virtuous cycle.
They, on the other hand, live in short-term mode. Buy high. Sell low. Panic buys. Manager-led recruitment. No strategy. No continuity. The loan-to-buy model has collapsed on them like a cheap tent in the rain. Cifuentes was supposed to be a showcase of their data-led approach. Well, if that’s data, they’ve been scraping it from Ceefax.
And now what? They’ve got an angry support, a bloated squad, four returning flops, and no money coming in from sales. Not even a whiff of interest in any of them. And remember – this is happening as they’re also trying to sort the manager situation, fend off scrutiny over finances, and pretend that everything is fine.
It’s not fine. It’s funny.
Because as they stumble from one calamity to the next, we’re out here cashing cheques from Germany and soon, England. That Frimpong money is just the cherry on top of a summer where we could easily walk away with £8 million-plus in “free” income. And we won’t spend it in a panic. We’ll be surgical. Measured. Strategic.
They’re in the middle of trying to cobble together another reboot. A rehash. A rebuild of the rebuild. And already they’ve got four problem contracts on the books. That’s not just incompetence. That’s what happens when you run a club like a reactionary mess.
Meanwhile, we’re sitting pretty. Laughing. Because this is what happens when you run a football club like a business instead of a circus.
‘Couldn’t defend a sandcastle’ ? love it.
A basket case of a club,that board room must be like a scene from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Next
Another great bit of journalism James and well researched and put together as always…
But one pedantic constructive criticism –
Why did you call them ‘Rangers’ as they (‘Rangers’ ) are deceased and dead as the dinosaurs since c,2012 !
Spot on Clach, NEVER EVER give them the benefit of the doubt, or as James said “indulge them” when referring to them.
They are not Rangers. That name refers to a Liquidated Club.
They are, to give them their official title as is registered with Company House, the ‘ The Rangers International Football Club’.
When referring to them the following terms can be utilised;
The Tribute Act.
Sevco.
NewCo.
The Phoenix Club.
Ragers.
Them over there.
The Denizens of The DebtDome. ( my personal favourite).
We must NEVER EVER allow ourselves to give credence to their falsehoods. We live in the real world not an Alice in Wonderland fantasy.
They hope that over time we will accept them using the title ‘Rangers’ and that in generations to come the Liquidation and the Cheating Years that preceded it will be forgotten. This must NEVER, EVER be allowed to happen.
When they ‘Cheated’ during their 9IAR and later years, they did not just deny us and other Clubs in our League of the opportunity to win those Titles and Trophies, their Corporate unethical and illegal actions became a threat to the very existence of the Scottish Game. Sponsorship and TV contracts were imperilled and had to be hastily renegotiated to account for the loss of the ‘Old Firm’ games on TV.
That lost revenue has never been replaced and it cost our Clubs dearly. OldCo gambled with the very future of the National Game and that must never be forgotten and we should never stop reminding them of the consequences of their Old Club’s actions and one of those consequences was the Death and Permanent Liquidation of their OldCo.
Haha! ‘The tribute act’ is my go to and sometimes ‘newco’. I accept your list and won’t stray from it because it’s always worth pointing out RANGERS DIED. I seen their fans suggesting that they should overspend this summer and pay the fine for breaching ffp rules because CL prize money is greater than the fine. So cheating is their plan, the old club might be dead but the mentality that killed remains with them over there.
I like zombie fc as they’ve crawled out of the casket thinking their back as the old klub, always that or deidco fc .
Magnificent post yet again SFATHENADIROFCHIFTINESS !
Once again without trying to sound pedantic and please accept this as a constructive criticism…
But I’d simply NEVER use the words New-Co or Old-Co for the simple reason that it’s reopor on here that The Scummy’s of The Scummy Scottish Football Media use these descriptions of Sevco…
I far prefer New-Club and Old-Club any day of the week as it emphasises exactly what they are (12 years and 297 days actually as of today) – I’ll never give them peace on that one for sure !
Also may I add another name for Sevco to your fine list if that’s ok…
‘R-ANGER-S as they are in a perpetual state of bloody ANGER and long may this be !!!
I’m correctly chastised and will endeavour to replace those terms with your suggested replacements of ‘Old Club’ and ‘ New Club’.
As for your other suggestion l must decline as in my personal estimation it is too close to the original designation for the Old Club.
They are still coming, and you better believe it this time.
And this time next year…. and the year after…. and the year after… and the year after…
It’s ok tho, help is at hand. Accordin tae young of the DR, because these new owners have stated, they’re goin tae finance Leeds tae make them an EPL force, he’s surmisin theyre goin tae dae the same for the ibrox club in the SPL. Or as he excitedly puts it, it’s a ‘possibity’ !! Ha ha ‘possible’ but not quite definite eh ?! Incredible how they continue throwin out these scenarios, instead of havin a level headed ‘wait and see’ approach. But then again ‘ if ma uncle had t***……..’ and all that.
So they’ve got a Young Pathological Liars there as well Old Pathological Liars as well !
Don’t they also have to stump up £4m for Cortez?
We have half a dozen loan players returning as well, so what do we do with them as they are obviously surplus to requirements. It’s not just the huns that have this particular problem.
And yet that team of worthless players and an angry amateur temp manager came to Paradise and won. It’s not just our board that need to guard against complacency
I’ve always liked to use Deidco