Who the Hell allowed a Merchant City Orange Walk on Celtic’s title party day?

For the last two or three years, Celtic fans have enjoyed a title party in central Glasgow, in the Trongate area. These are traditionally regarded as areas full of Celtic bars, and even the Merchant City around Candleriggs has long been seen as leaning Celtic. I know this because I drink there a lot myself.

Now, every one of those years, there’s been a lot of hyperbole in the aftermath of the title party. But what nobody can say—what not one person can accuse us of—is wholesale civil disorder on the level of pitched battles or the scenes that greeted Ibrox’s one and only title win in the COVID season.

Two weeks ago, my old man told me a story that sounded too ridiculous to be true. He told me a sectarian parade—an Orange Walk—was going to take place in the Trongate area on the same day we’re scheduled to have our title party. The final game of the season, the moment the trophy is presented to our players, has traditionally been the day we all come together to celebrate.

To be honest, I thought he’d got his wires crossed.

I thought maybe he’d misread the dates or muddled them somehow. I found it impossible to believe it could be true. Incomprehensible. Surely the council, the police, the organisers—surely they could all read a calendar? Surely they knew how volatile, dangerous, and downright idiotic that idea actually is?

He told me to check it out. Told me to do a little independent verification. And I’ll be honest—I forgot. I forgot because I dismissed the idea out of hand.

The minute I heard it, it was gone. Nobody could be that moronic. Nobody could make a decision that ridiculous.

And yet, there’s nothing too stupid to be true in this city. Nothing too ridiculous to fall within the range of what’s possible when it comes to the people who allegedly run Glasgow. I am absolutely flabbergasted to learn today that it’s a fact—that this is actually planned, actually scheduled, actually going to happen.

Local residents are pleading with the organisers of the march to change the date. I can tell you now—they won’t.

This is a gift from the gods to them. The uppity Fenians trying to decide when and where they can march? This is the whole reason they exist in the first place—freedom from being told what to do, the right to walk the King’s Highway. That’s why I don’t put this down to simple stupidity. They knew the date. They knew what they were doing. This feels like a crude attempt to curtail our activities.

I’ve written before about the local business and residents groups in that area who’ve been making all this noise about not wanting the Celtic fans to have their party there. And I’ve told you—I’m done giving those people the benefit of the doubt based on how they talk about us. Notice they’re only asking for the march to be rescheduled. They’re not asking for it to be cancelled outright. They’re not saying they don’t want that kind of thing on their doorstep in the first place.

I’m tired—sick and tired—of this country’s tolerance for bigotry and bigots. We’re supposed to respect the “rights” of these people to preach hatred? To spread a message of racial and ethnic superiority? It’s apparently unacceptable for football fans to celebrate winning a title, but perfectly acceptable for this grotesquery to happen multiple times a year, every year?

Even setting aside the rights and wrongs of that particular spectacle, it’s mind-bending that nobody in a position of authority looked at this, joined the dots, and realised we might have a problem.

The hate-fest is scheduled for early in the day—that’ll be the excuse we hear. But Celtic fans will be in that area, gathering all day. Some will be heading to the game. Others will be watching it nearby. It’s a recipe for disaster.

And if disaster strikes, I’m not accepting any narrative that blames our supporters. We’ve done this three or four times in a row now without incident. When it’s just our fans mingling with our fans, the chances of serious trouble are virtually nil. So if this year the same event suddenly erupts into violence, the question must be asked—what changed? What was added to the mix?

There’s only one obvious answer to that.

I don’t care what the Orange Order tells itself about its members and motivations. I don’t care what their PR people say. I don’t care that they’ve suddenly gotten very good at playing the victim. They claim to be different from their public perception. But like I always say—perception is reality. And an organisation founded on bigotry and hate—because we know that’s what it was, and what it still is—is going to carry that perception with it no matter how they try to polish their image.

Put several thousand of those people under that banner, into the same area as thousands of Celtic supporters, and you’re going to get trouble.

There will be a few “heated discussions,” if we’re being generous—and likely a lot more. I fully expect that particular parade to be more heavily attended than usual. I imagine they’ll have greater numbers than anyone would normally anticipate for one of their Saturday strolls in full Halloween regalia.

And it won’t just be about the perception Celtic fans have of the Orange Order. It’s going to be about the hangers-on and the nutcases who go along for the ride—because they believe it represents all that “up to the knees in Fenian blood” nonsense. The idea that the guys in the uniforms don’t share those beliefs is so far-fetched, it’s insulting.

I can’t put it more bluntly than this: if that march goes ahead at that scheduled time and in that place, there’s going to be hell to pay. That’s obvious to even the stupidest person watching.

And it’s so obvious, I have to wonder—is that the intent? Is that what lies behind giving it the green light? Does someone, somewhere, think there’s an upside to disorder on our streets? Because if that isn’t the intended consequence, then I don’t know what the intended consequence is.

The decision to allow this march to go ahead on that date, at that time, is an outrage. It’s a scandal. There’s no other word for it. And the people who signed off on it are going to have to explain themselves at some future point if there’s a serious outbreak of violence—something so predictable, so obvious, that it’s inconceivable they didn’t see it coming.

We live in a country where protests are being criminalised. Attend an environmental rally and you might wind up with a criminal record—or even a custodial sentence. But in this same country, we routinely permit sectarian bigot-fests multiple times a year.

Tens of thousands of knuckle-draggers are given free rein to parade their hate through the streets … and on a Celtic title party day? If you wanted serious disorder that’s a good way to go about getting it.

There’s something deeply, profoundly wrong with this. And with this country.