When it comes to certain Celtic stories, we ask ourselves a familiar question every time the Scottish press serves up one of their classics: “Who exactly is this for?”
Yesterday’s effort, courtesy of The Sunday Mail, revolved around former “Celtic target” Saïd Hamuli?, who is leaving Toulouse on loan for Dundee United. It’s a pointless puff piece about a player most of us have never heard of.
Scott Burns wrote it, which is never a great omen. Quality journalism and the Daily Record and Sunday Mail seldom meet, and Burns is hardly the outlier who breaks that rule. Even in a landscape with no standards, his output manages to stand out for all the wrong reasons—so no shock that this piece is a dog’s breakfast.
The claim: Celtic were “keen” on Hamuli? two years ago.
That drops the link neatly into the “Mark Lawwell scouting folder,” if you believe one existed for him at all.
More likely, it was nothing but summertime paper talk—fairies at the bottom of the garden have more substance. The Record’s hook here seems to be: “Look at the player Celtic ‘missed out on’—he’s turning up at Tannadice, and he might hurt them later.” At least, that’s the best I can tease out of a muddled article whose main thrust is basically a list of reasons why we probably passed on him.
Let’s recap Hamuli?’s trajectory. Toulouse paid about £2 million, but he scarcely made a ripple there. He bounced out on loan—three clubs, zero impact worth writing home about. Now he’s heading for Dundee United, a team desperate for extra bodies. Are we meant to weep over missing out?
Or should we be smug about dodging another expensive bullet? Burns seems uncertain which side he wants, so he awkwardly straddles both.
The Record says Hamuli? “came to the fore” during a spell in Poland: nine goals and four assists in 19 games. Decent numbers, sure—if you ignore that he had been shipped there after failing to impress his parent club. Those stats alone never justified Celtic paying £2 million and a hefty wage.
Even if Lawwell’s database flagged him, being a Lawwell-era name is hardly a glowing reference; remind me where he’s working now?
As far as I can tell Celtic took no real action. No negotiations that ever got near the finish line. The result? A nomadic career, each stop signposted with “didn’t settle” and “failed to make an splash.”
We could file this alongside those summer signings from around that time who everyone wants off the wage bill. Every player Lawwell signed in that window remains at Lennoxtown; the waste lies not just in the fees already paid, but in the wages that keep piling up from this selection of failed punts.
I don’t even remember Hamuli?’s name turning up back then. There were dozens of forwards rumoured, but this one never stuck in my mind—odd,and remember that it was a window in which we all expected a striker … and didn’t get one. Nobody expected Oh to genuinely push Kyogo, and we didn’t land Adam Idah until January. If Hamuli? had truly been high on the list, you’d think it would’ve registered.
So the story’s a phantom whichever way you slice it.
If Celtic were interested, we clearly avoided a mistake. If we were never interested, the Record just re-inflated a rumour it invented in the first place to get a few clicks. Either way, the takeaway is the same: nothing about this episode fills me with regret at missing out on the guy.
But this is what our media does, consistently.
They pull out a name, slap on a tenuous “Celtic link,” and trust that supporters will supply the outrage. It’s click-bait dressed up as journalism, born of a newsroom whose guiding principle is “bang it out and hope.”
Ultimately, who is this for? Dundee United fans?
Doubtful—they care more about what he does on the pitch than whether Celtic once glanced in his direction. Celtic fans? They’ll roll their eyes, spot the angle, and move on. The Record? They get their page-views, their advertisers get eyeballs, and the rest of us get a fresh reminder that Scotland’s media ecosystem keeps churning even when the fuel tank is long-since empty.
If Hamuli? tears up the Premiership next season, fair play to him; maybe Toulouse finally found the right environment for his talents. Yet nothing points to Celtic having missed out on a gem. All the evidence suggests we passed on a drifter—and quite sensibly. In the meantime, the Record can chalk up another non-story disguised as a scoop, reinforcing the growing sense that their sports desk exists to search desperately for any “Celtic connection” to keep traffic rolling.
We didn’t dodge a bullet so much as watch it sail off in another direction entirely. And if we were never in its path, well, congratulations to the Record for squeezing one last click out of a tale that never mattered. It won’t do much for the wider reputation of Scottish journalism, but then, what does these days?
Yet another tripe article where their obsession with Celtic is evident.
Having just read Jackass’ warning piece today I just cannot wait to see your views later.
We are being counselled to watch the new entity being born and hear how it will develop into our biggest threat. An arms race us coming allegedly
It is so full of holes and comments that you will destroy with your usual scalpellike wit to dissect it to death.
Crap like the £20m the EGM will deliver is now all going to the transfer kitty, no recognition of FFP limits, Desmond and Lawell crapping themselves, I can’t wait
Burns. Another of jacksons pro-ibrox desciples. Has tae justify his job at the DR, by puttin out any pile of shit. Must be a really low bar tae get a qualification in journalism these days, if that mob are anythin tae go by.
Glad I don’t buy that crap. Dearie me.
Good person not buying or clicking them – Starve them to their grave lair !
I don’t give the Scottish media sports clicks or views, ever. I rely on Celtic bloggers to expose their churnalistic tripe without providing links. I’ve no intentions of helping to encourage nor fund them. I see interacting with them as being disgustingly disloyal to Celtic, especially The Sunday Fail and The Dirty Redcoat. I prefer sports sources that deal in truth/facts, not rancid minced tripe fit for a mouldy blue brain. BTW, one more point, i don’t rate Idah. Certainly not at £9 million. I’ll keep it simple – Kyogo £10 million? I’ll take Kyogo any day. And Sinisalo should be the preferred No1 between the sticks. Great article, James. Keep up the great work.
Post of the month regarding The Scummy Scottish Football Media Richard…
I would rather drown than give these Scummy Bastards even 0.000000001 pence of a click !!!