BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 07: Russell Martin, Manager of Southampton, shows dejection after the Premier League match between Aston Villa FC and Southampton FC at Villa Park on December 07, 2024 in Birmingham, England. (Photo by Matt McNulty/Getty Images)
The king is dead. Long live the king. How many times have we written that on these blogs? How many times have we warned that you don’t kill kings lightly?
The story I usually tell at a time like this is of Gaius Octavian, a teenage boy when his uncle was murdered on the Senate floor. Gaius Octavian was named heir to the legacy of Julius Caesar whilst still in his teens.
Within a handful of years, he was at the head of the Second Triumvirate. A few years after that, he was the first emperor of Rome, the assassins of his uncle long since dead. You never underestimate a new king – which is exactly why you don’t go out of your way to kill the old one. Because you just never know.
We are not, of course, responsible for the numerous regicides at Ibrox.
Those are internal coups d’état. Every time they kill a king, they hope that someone better, someone smarter, someone more capable will take his place. And over and over again, they fail to find the right man. The Julio-Claudian dynasty could have been the most powerful royal family in history, but it made terrible mistakes.
Tiberius followed Octavian. Tiberius, who never wanted to be emperor. Who never sought the throne for himself. But whose mother, Livia Drusilla, manoeuvred for years until she secured the prize for her son. And he was terrible at it.
Caligula, who he chose and named as his successor, was even worse. He lasted four years before the assassins came for him. Those assassins had been very busy in the intervening years, as both Tiberius and Caligula were bloodthirsty and paranoid and wanted to annihilate any opposition to them before it gestated properly.
And what do you think that left behind? A bunch of weak men. A bunch of yes-men. And the only reason that Claudius, who succeeded Caligula, was allowed to remain was because he had a limp and a stutter and people underestimated him. In fact, he proved to be a very capable leader – until, as historians suspect, he was murdered by his own wife to assure that her son, Nero, became emperor next.
You don’t have to be an avid reader of history to know how that one turned out.
Ibrox has gone through some periods of regicide.
They’re always killing kings.
This one is a particularly weird appointment though, a particularly weird coronation, because on the surface of it, this more resembles a Praetorian coup than anything else. The Americans are picking someone who will run the show the way they want, who will work within the restrictions they impose. They want a puppet, not a leader.
Martin has been named head coach – not manager.
That’s deliberate, because he’s not going to have all the powers of a manager. He’s not going to be able to pick the players that he signs. He’s not going to be able to get involved in contract negotiations. He’s there to run the team they give him.
Now, we’ve seen how that turns out.
There are people who are going to say it’s the perfect model for how a football club should work and for some of these people, maybe it is. But it goes against the grain of the manager as architect and creates problems everywhere it’s tried.
So Martin starts out a weak king.
He begins his life at Ibrox disliked by his subjects, distrusted by many of them, and branded a fool. But then, so was Claudius. And he surprised everybody. Octavian too was judged to be no threat to the powerful men in the Senate who had murdered Caesar. What the hell did they have to fear from a 17-year-old boy?
Well, as it turned out, Caesar had not picked his successor rashly or foolishly. In fact, it was one of the most prescient, consequential decisions in history.
So no, we will not underestimate this new shining figure of Ibrox.
But let’s be perfectly honest – there are many, many, many, many, many, many better candidates they could have chosen. And it astonishes me – as I said yesterday – that they’ve gone around the world looking for a guy to replace Clement, when this guy was available on the day they sacked Clement, and they could have appointed him ages ago without having to go through all the furore of a managerial hunt and all the embarrassment of Barry Ferguson’s brief time in charge.
His unveiling wasn’t a disaster, although their fans aren’t happy that he wore trainers with a suit – which only confirms in their eyes this general impression of him as some kind of weirdo. He said all the right things about backing himself, about having self-belief – all the things you would say if you were standing in his position.
He talked about how he wants to win trophies. There has never been a manager unveiled at any club in history who didn’t say the same thing. On the surface of it, there is nothing revolutionary in any of his remarks, although they seem to have convinced a lot of the Ibrox fans online who otherwise would have been critical.
But of course, that all ties into what I was talking about yesterday – about how there are people who will forever dig for the pony in the pile of shit.
Just as it’s wrong to completely write the guy off, nobody should be getting excited over a press conference. Because they’ve seen it all before.
He arrives on a deal which ostensibly will keep him there for three seasons.
One of my friends – and a shout-out to him, Paul Gault – says, “Summer, autumn and winter.” We laugh because it’s funny – and we laugh because historically it’s tended to be true. The shelf life of an Ibrox manager has plummeted of late.
And without getting complacent, this really doesn’t look like the appointment that’s going to change that.
He’s an interesting appointment as he has a distinctive style of playing, which will either revolutionise that team, of fail in the face of the players in the squad. Hoofball is their bread and butter and I’m not sure they’re suited to the passing game.
It works in our favour for derbies, maybe works against them in Europe too.
But if they buy on and he imposes his style…they could definitely improve.
I’m not sure about the bit where James says they could have brought Martin in before now. Their Director of Football only started on Monday of this week, so no managerial appointment was going to be announced until this week.
On the point that it’s a head coach role rather than a manager, perhaps they think the players Martin coached were closer to the standard of player at sevco than the players Ancellotti coached: Messi, Mbappe etc.
That aside, perhaps Keevins has got one thing right for a change: He said last week that if Celtic fans were allowed a vote in sevco’s managerial appointment they would go for Russell Martin.
It shows you the mindset over there when his lack of shoes is highlighted by these real Ranjurs men. ‘Get a pair of brown brogues on him’. That will worry our Brendan right enough!
James , yes he was available when clemont got his jotters and it played out the way most of us expected , barry the biatch got the job until the SBs were renewed and then this guy was unveiled , if he got the gig before hand renewals wern’t a happening , just a mention to any knuckle draggers peeping on , if we knew ye were coming we’d have baked a cake baked a cake baked a cake !!! Chortles away !!!!! Chortle
As a vegan, Martin is highly unlikely to wear brown leather brogues, so the bears better get used to things being different in the days to come. Unfortunately for Martin a significant proportion of the bears will not accept a manager in anything but brogues. Tesco do vegan bacon. Greggs do vegan sausage rolls. Anybody know if you can get vegan brogues?
No pies at Aye Woke from now on; to be replaced by tofu and falafel.
Also, Armed Forces Day will now become Release a Butterfly/ Hug Your Neighbour Day.
Cumbaya to replace the Famine Song, and Tiptoe Through the Tulips instead of Up tae wur knees etc.
Namaste and Peace be with you.
🙂
There is a place on Brendan’s trophy wall reserved for Turnip heid and I don’t think it will be vacant for very long.
First and foremost, let’s get our own team up tae scratch without our board lettin this ibrox managerial choice affect their judgement, on how we should be strengthenin.Then we can observe and see what happens. Tbh, in this type of situation, it would be sensible, no tae underestimate anybody we dont know about. Tho all we seem tae be readin from mk dons and southampton fans, is that his tactics are defensive, tae the point of death through boredom. Remains tae be seen if he changes that here. Doubtful tho.
Spot on min. Im more concerned with our summer plans. We have plenty of business to do including shifting a lot of deadwood ie Palma Tilio Kwon etc etc. Still need a LB to replace Taylor, a hard tackling midfielder and a winger or 2 to keep Daizen through the middle. Busy summer expected
Time to forget the goings on at Ibrox for now, they’ve made their decision, it’s now time to start looking at next season and the qualifier for the Champions League. Hopefully BR, Tisdale and the scouting dept know who their targets are, and that Nicolson MacKay and their godfather Lawwell surprise us all by getting the business done early.
I’m not holding my breath, this might be another false dawn at Ibrox but we can’t rely on them losing so many points domestically, whilst winning 8 of a possible 12 points against us
Time hasn’t dimmed the disappointing memory of the Scottish Cup Final or some of our dismal performances since January. It was an overall successful season, but we can do better.
2025 indeed has been fuckin appalling v Sevco for sure Micmac !
I don’t know if he’ll be any good but the last 3 days have been hilarious seeing the huns wildly over the top meltdown which is a result of their wildly over the top expectations. He starts off one bad game away from hearing the poison coming from the stands and about 20 games away from winning anyone over.
@Brattbakk. That’s because they NEVER learn tae shut the fk up and see what transpires.. Their delusion won’t allow it. Long may it continue.
Apart from the American consortium, the only hun who should be truly happy about the takeover is the Glib and Shameless one. He set out to lure the Yanks in with absolutely no scruples about how it would all unfold. His only aim in al this, was to get shot of his personal shares for the best price possible. He’s filled his wellies now and will probably not be seen again for dust. Good riddance I say, and his legacy will only continue to live on for all the wrong reasons. What a shyster!
I’d say his legacy will live on for all the RIGHT reasons Johnny…
Turmoil at Liebrox every week, more courts than a year of action at Wimbledon…
And And…. They won the square root of Sweet Fuck All in his tenure as chairman (S.F.A) !!!