19/10/13 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP.HIBERNIAN v CELTIC (1-1).EASTER ROAD STADIUM - EDINBURGH.Celtic legend Peter Grant. (Photo by Craig Williamson/SNS Group via Getty Images)
Well, Celtic’s second pre-season game of the week has just ended and, unlike the first one, this didn’t have a happy ending.
We left it late against Cork City but got the winner.
This time, we couldn’t find the equaliser. I’ll let Paulina break down the actual match in her article — she’s covering every game now — but what I will say is this: it was a combination of bad decision-making and bad defending. We lost a goal to a penalty, another to a set piece and a the third to a long ball down the middle. That, naturally, raises a few questions.
I don’t like getting too bogged down in frivolities because there are enough sites out there that live for that stuff, but let’s be honest — if you’ve watched CelticTV this past week, and especially if you’ve paid for the privilege of doing so, you’ll know that the coverage has one or two… issues.
And that’s being generous.
Last year they gave the site a flashy new upgrade.
It looks the part, and there’s a lot of good content if you want it — Paulina just got her subscription and she’s loving it, learning all sorts of things about the club she didn’t know.
There’s a lot of insight in those documentaries and interviews.
But on matchday? The presentation is, frankly, awful.
At half-time today, they aired an interview with Kieran Tierney — itself, not exactly riveting stuff but mildly entertaining whilst waiting for the game to come back on — and then they cut it off mid-sentence to return to a pitch where, hilariously, the Celtic players weren’t even back out yet.
That’s amateur hour, no two ways about it.
But worse than that — far worse — is the commentary.
Paul Cuddihy, bless him, is not a natural broadcaster.
That flat, monotone voice makes me nostalgic for that brief, bleak spell when one of the national broadcasters inflicted Kevin Thomson on us. But even Cuddihy is Richard Burton compared to his co-commentator Peter Grant — who, to be perfectly blunt, is absolutely unbearable to listen to.
I understand that Grant loves talking about Celtic. I understand that he’s full of stories. I get that he’s been around the place for decades and probably knows more than most.
But it is not his job to spend the game reminiscing and telling anecdotes.
And it’s not Cuddihy’s job to sit there indulging him while the actual match unfolds in the background like a screensaver.
The simplest rule of live football commentary is this: act as if your audience is blind. Your job is to describe what’s happening, in real time. Not go off on tangents about tactics, or long-dead dressing room dramas, or the funny thing someone once said about a dog.
To act as if the audience was blind. Not to make us wish we were deaf.
What we got today was dreadful.
From almost the first whistle, Grant was allowed to ramble, repeat himself, drift off-topic, and wander down the same worn storytelling alleyways. If you were trying to follow the match, tough luck. You couldn’t. And worse, it got to the point where you zoned out completely. Even watching the match, you’d miss things, because his drone switches your brain off.
When something happened — a pass, a tackle, a mistake — you couldn’t rely on the commentary to tell you who it was. You had to ask around. Text a mate. Piece it together.
Because the one person who was paid to notice and relay that information was too busy delivering a TED Talk on his favourite number 8s.
Nobody can listen to that and think it’s anywhere near acceptable.
Nobody can claim that Grant is in the same league as Tom Boyd. This is another example of Celtic failing to meet professional standards because we’re too fond of handing out jobs to pals and ex-players, regardless of whether they’ve got the chops for it.
Boyd had the personality for it. He was a pro. Grant … nope.
And this is not a small thing.
People in the UK and Ireland who can’t get to games — for all kinds of reasons — are paying £50 a year, or £80 if you want the “enhanced” version (nobody can quite explain what that means).
Overseas fans are shelling out £150.
All for coverage that is, to put it bluntly, worse than useless.
If I’d paid that and only got audio commentary today, I’d have been demanding a refund. Because what was delivered wasn’t merely subpar — it was unacceptable.
Fans who pay that kind of money deserve at least the basics.
A minimum level of professionalism. A matchday product that feels like it was made for adults and not flung together last minute by a couple of guys with a microphone and a few vague memories of Paul McStay. Instead, what we got was a mid-game history lecture on Celtic’s number 8s.
Fascinating, I’m sure — but maybe save it for after full-time, yeah? When there’s not an actual football match going on in the background.
A lot of people are fully entitled to ask for a refund after that.
And the club should be listening … and if they don’t like it, tough.
What we had to listen to just then was way worse.
I swear you’re psychic. During the No. 8 chaf I was also thinking – who just passed the ball to who? It was total drivel but unfortunately something I’ve got used to subscribing from abroad. Grant makes my ears bleed. His anecdotes are pish and that deadpan delivery is grating as eff. These games can be dull but the commentary team drag the games down to a grinding halt.
Gave up on listening to the commentary a long time ago. I just turn the sound down and listen to an audiobook, far better use of my ears.
Peter was pathetic.
Kept yittering on about training routines and what players need to do, which had absolutely nothing to do with the game.
Brain went numb before half time.
Completely ruined the game.
Celtic TV is like most other local channels with usually a former player commentating.
Have you heard Aberdeen or Rangers TV commentators?
Perhaps we should get Ally McCoist.
Do we employ a professional like Archie McPherson?
Sorry but Peter was not the problem today it was Celtics poor play.
I think we all underestimated the opposition.
Bertie Basset said he loves Grant. That tells one thing, he never saw him play. 15 goals in 15 seasons. He couldn’t pass forward, take throw ins, tackle, shit himself from Ian Ferguson, and worse of all. He caused the Rapid Vienna debacle. Needlessly kicking and opponent in the head while he was on the ground, then compounded the fellony by missing a penalty. He was a useless prick of a player and has continued it in co-commentary. Useless!
I totally agree and thought the same during today’s game, there was a lot of unfamiliar players and when something good or bad happens you want to know who it was but those two just chat away about something else. It’s not proper commentary. Even in the Cork game it was an age for them to confirm Donovan had scored.
I’ll be honest I like Peter Grant as a pundit between halfs but not as a color commentator on the live game. That’s when Celtic TV is at its best when you have live game and then Peter at the half. Ive always found preseason pretty grim down the line in terms of broadcasting. My issue with it is the overall camera quality. If you’re going to offer an “enhanced” version it should mean HD or the ability to keep it clear while it follows plays. Instead it’s a bit like watching an On Demand rerun of a show from the 80’s. I’m in the US so the only channels I get Celtic are on CBS/Paramount and Celtic TV and CTV isn’t even in the same league.
He kept on saying that fatigue was to blame i say it was more relevant to suggest it was the shite on show.
If he said it once he said it 10 times. I pay the extra and i get lagging and drop out during the season and i cant cast from my laptop to my smart tv !! Why the fuck not?
An HDMI cable should switch from laptop to smart TV that’s what I use, eldraco.
When the great Dan Maskill retied from Wimbledon commentary, John MacEnroe took over and actually gave some amazing professional insights of where the players would stand and why they could only return it one way with a certain spin or it wouldn’t stay in etc. By the the next season he had retreated to the usual inanities.
Football needs someone who can explain the game, point out professional insights etc.e.g. tactics failing, defence lapses maybe.
The worst used to be McCoist when he started he would go on about the idiot “Gazza”. he came into the dressing room and said “Wibble wobble” we all died laughing…oh they have scored.
Peter’s voice actually sounds like MC coisht,he’sh speaking the same way , with that MC coisht,Connery,lishping,it was a sore watch today and a sore audio as well.
On the Cork City game the two commentators talked all the way through the Ireland national anthem. Either they were unaware it was happening or they didn’t give a shit.
I didn’t get that as i was at the game live , i love Peter Grant i have to say ,
This is so true!
After a few minutes I was wondering who the Celtic player is that has the ball over and over again.It was only the obvious ones I could figure out but then I’m like that ‘ Why do I need to figure it out that’s what the commentators are for’, but they weren’t commentating they were chatting.
Thought to myself, yaas, an excuse not to go out to the baking sun but to chill out and watch Celtic in a cool environment with a cold beer. Bugger me, twenty minutes in and I was outside getting burnt to a crisp and, in all honesty, it was worth it rather than watch the poor coverage and worse commentary that I’ve witnessed in a long time. The Cork game was not much better. My Celtic TV subscription is now under serious review.
Sorry to hear you had to watch it on tv and to those Celtic fans who couldn’t make it due to finance or otherwise , but i must say for us Celtic fans in Cork across the Island it was a memorable day for us , the fans that visited the Cork were a credit to the club ,
Don’t have it and canny seem to break into it so can’t really comment…
Used to have it years ago when the fella O’Hanlon (I think) was on it and enjoyed the history documentary’s !
We have excellent podcasters in John Paul Dykes,and Tino.Acsom and the Celtic Exchange. They could do a fabulous job of bringing Celtic TV.up to Standard.
I’m an overseas subscriber to Celtic TV. The thing that annoys me above all is they almost mute the crowd noise completely killing any sense of atmosphere. It’s bloody infuriating. A lot of the time I end up finding a stream of the sky coverage so I can hear the crowd and singing as well as better coverage and discussion.
You lost me at tom boyd is a professional! Haha. Boyd is absolutely god awful on commentary to. I loved both as players but they are atrocious on comms. Just another level of Celtic not fit for purpose to be honest!