Another Ibrox transfer fantasy has Celtic fans laughing like Hell.

There are few more ineffective operations in Scottish football than the Ibrox transfer rumour machine. Yet it tries hard to be good. It never sleeps. It never doubts itself, and it never learns. And this week, as a result, it has delivered another absolute classic.

We are now being told that Emmanuel Fernandez, a £4 million centre back with a handful of appearances under his belt, signed from a modest club and who has hardly kicked a ball, is “on the radar” of Arsenal and Chelsea. As if that were not enough, some reports have also thrown Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund into the mix.

Of course they have.

Because at Ibrox, a decent run of form does not just earn you praise. Instead, it earns you a fictional transfer to half of Europe’s elite clubs in the next window. This is how it always works. Then, when the next window arrives, those same clubs spend vastly larger sums on players in the same position.

As a result, the pattern repeats itself, as predictably as the changing of the seasons.

First, a player strings together a few solid performances in Scotland. Then the media starts to murmur. After that comes the magic phrase: “being monitored”, which is quickly followed by talk of “growing interest.” Soon enough, the Champions League elite are supposedly circling.

Yet there are no bids. There are no concrete offers. There is no credible sourcing. In fact, there are not even vibes. Instead, there are just rumours, most of which appear first in The Daily Record, the chosen outlet for this nonsense. By now, we have seen this movie so many times that we should be able to recite the script word for word.

Take Alfredo Morelos.

For years, we were told he was a £30 million striker. Then £35 million. Then £40 million. With each goal, the imaginary fee grew. Everton were keen. Leicester were watching. Newcastle were interested. Ibrox would bank massive profits.

And yet, somehow, none of them made a move.

So what did they get for him again?

Ryan Kent followed a similar path. He was linked repeatedly with a return to Liverpool and, at the same time, with a move to Leeds. In fact, he was linked with anyone willing to give the story oxygen. A £20 million player, we were assured.

However, he stayed. Then his form dipped. Consequently, the noise faded. Eventually, he moved on, and notably, not to any of the clubs he had supposedly been destined for.

Glen Kamara also received the same treatment. Pundits talked him up as Premier League class. Arsenal were said to be interested. Big moves always seemed just around the corner. In the end, he left, but not for the level those stories suggested.

Likewise, the same pattern repeated with Borna Barisic, with James Tavernier, with Ianis Hagi, and with Joe Aribo. At various points, every one of them was supposedly on the brink of a major move to a top league.

Every one of them was “on the radar.” However, very few of them ever went anywhere near it.

And this is the key point.

“On the radar” is not a transfer. “Being monitored” is not a bid. “Interest” is not a deal. In reality, these are not football developments. Instead, this is rumour. This is wishful thinking. Or, at best, it is an attempt to spark an auction by people who do not know how.

Because when elite clubs want a player, they do not “monitor” him for three seasons while Scottish outlets churn out increasingly breathless speculation. Instead, they buy him.

It really is that simple.

What we are seeing here is not scouting. Nor is it genuine market activity. Rather, it is narrative building, the inflation of value through repetition. Say something often enough, and loudly enough, and eventually some people will believe it.

That is the game, and clearly, it serves a purpose.

It reassures supporters. It suggests that the club operates at a higher level than the evidence supports.

If it works, then it even buys them some much-needed financial breathing space.

However, the problem is that it rarely works. Nevertheless, it does give us some riotous headlines.

Players who genuinely operate at that level do not need this kind of campaign. Instead, their quality speaks for itself. As a result, their moves happen quickly, decisively, and without months or years of speculative build-up.

When a player is truly on the radar of elite clubs, the story does not unfold as a slow drip of rumours. Instead, it escalates quickly and ends in a transfer. We have seen that before.

What we get from Ibrox, by contrast, is the opposite. A slow burn of hype that never quite ignites. And now, once again, we have Emmanuel Fernandez.

He may well turn out to be a solid signing. Indeed, he may even develop into something more. However, that is not the issue. The issue is the leap. The jump from promising centre back to Arsenal and Chelsea target in the blink of an eye.

The leap from a £4 million signing to Bundesliga and Premier League interest without a single credible step in between. That is not analysis. Instead, it is make-believe.

And frankly, it would be funny if it were not so relentless.

Every season, the same cycle repeats. A new name. A new set of clubs. And, inevitably, a new round of exaggerated claims. Each time, the outcome remains the same. Nothing happens.

Yet still, the machine rolls on.

Because this is not really about transfers. Instead, it is about perception. It is about telling supporters that their players are wanted, valued, and admired at the highest level. It is about creating a sense of status that may not exist. And as long as that narrative holds, the reality becomes almost secondary.

However, for those of us watching from the outside, it is impossible not to laugh.

Because we have seen it all before.

And we know exactly how it ends.

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