The media is now in the self parody zone over Celtic’s Motherwell call.

So last night I did a piece on Willie Collum. The Herald had run an article about Motherwell’s Sam Nicholson, and the purpose of that article was obvious.

It was there to paint Nicholson as the most honest man in football, a guy who would not tell a lie when he says the ball did not touch his hand.

That article did mention that Nicholson, who had the obvious grievance of being on the losing team, had also played for Hearts and was a lifelong Hearts fan.

It gives him double the grievance.

The point of my piece was to say that Nicholson’s version of events should not simply be accepted as gospel. It is not that I am accusing him of lying, although that is certainly within the range of possibilities.

It might be as simple as him remembering only what he needs to remember so he does not have to feel like he betrayed his team on the night and gave Celtic a better shot at the title. I can understand how, in those circumstances, he might not want to accept what happened.

Here’s the thing. The Herald putting that piece out just before Collum went on Sky was not a coincidence. It was an attempt to undermine what Collum was about to say before he even said it, because it was pre-briefed, on the night of the game itself, that the SFA was standing by its officials, something the press spent a week ignoring.

Collum was exceptional. He batted away every possible question asked of him. You would have thought that once Collum had done that, the matter would finally be at an end.

Sadly, no. As most Celtic fans could have predicted quite easily, this matter is not going to be allowed to end.

Within hours of Collum giving his explanation, The Herald had dug up a quote from seasons past which it claimed contradicted what he said on the VAR show. Tom English was then on X banging on about how the decision seemed rush and that he was even more baffled by it now that he had heard the VAR audio. You notice the shift?

So, the campaign goes on, just in a different form. It’s the story of the story.

The media is now trying to undermine Collum’s words by quoting his previous comments back at him and suggesting either that he has changed his tune or that he is a hypocrite. It is trying to undermine the VAR team with the idea that they rushed to judgement. Notice that this is hardly about the handball at all at this stage.

Collum has already covered the whole thing in his explanation. Nothing new has been added by going back over his previous statements, and they do not contradict each other at all. English would have complained had VAR took its time, proof, to him, that there wasn’t certainty about the decision. Instead he complains that they were too quick; that’s what usually happens when someone is sure about a call.

Clear and obvious error. The guy’s hands were up above shoulder level. The ball hit his hand. It was as clear a penalty as you will see.

The number of shifts this has gone through is interesting. The argument now from many of these people is not that the ball did not hit Nicholson’s hand, because how can it be when Collum says he and his VAR officials looked at it from every angle and were convinced it hit the hand? So, the argument has changed and every hack his own favourite version.

And that, folks, is where this all becomes a bit ridiculous. So many of them with their own wee pet theories, some overlapping one another and others flatly contradicting one another. It’s as if someone took the story of Rashomon and transferred it to the SPFL; that’s what makes it so absurd. Everyone is looking for a reason why it shouldn’t have been given, and since none of them are based on the facts, everyone is pushing a slightly different one. What none of them appears to realise is that it’s this which gives them away.

For some it is about whether every handball is a penalty. For others, whether there was intent. Others still want to know if there was enough contact. A few doubt whether the threshold was met. What is amazing is that so many have pivoted from a position where they said it was never a penalty because it was not a handball, to one where, now that it has been established that it was a handball, they are saying it is not a penalty anyway.

They are looking for any and all pretexts to keep this alive. But even if there was something to prove, what possible good does any of this do now?

This is ridiculous stuff. This is the interchangeable grievance.

These people are not going to quit just because every version of the argument has collapsed. They are going to continue this for as long as they possibly can. It is now clear that they will pursue this through every angle, and I cannot understand what the hell they think they are doing at this point.

The VAR show last night did not just cover that incident. It also covered the penalty Hearts were denied at Motherwell, which Collum said should have been a penalty. So right there, Hearts have a legitimate grievance if they want one.

It also covered the Alistair Johnston two-footed tackle at Celtic Park against the Ibrox club, which a lot of people were screaming was a straight red card.

It was never a straight red card in a hundred years, and Collum and his officials explained in very clear terms why that was the case.

But before the weekend is out, I fully expect that someone will have found another previous case Collum commented on, which they will claim contradicts what he said about the Johnston tackle. It is so predictable.

These people have no shame whatsoever.

Nor do they appear to have any overall objective except to pretend Celtic’s title is somehow illegitimate. That is ultimately what they are trying to do. They want to taint the achievement. They want to taint Martin O’Neill’s miracle.

They will not be able to do it, but they are going to strain every sinew trying.

Pathetic as that is.

The stuff about past precedent and Collum’s previous comments was not even the only new line they went down last night. On the VAR show, Collum was asked whether it was possible Auston Trusty’s jump pushed Nicholson’s arm up, although the slowed-down video footage clearly shows the Motherwell player’s arm was up as they challenged for the ball.

It is preposterous how fully and completely these people are determined to turn this into a thing. Someone on X said it best last night. If this decision comes in mid-October, nobody talks about it for longer than a week.

Because it was a Celtic decision, you better believe it gets the full week of outrage.

Except we are not at a week now.

We are past a fortnight since this game took place, and people are still dissecting that incident as if it is footage of the Kennedy assassination. They are talking about it as though there are more conspiracy theories behind it than there are about Dallas in October 1963.

There is no sign that this is going to abate.

As I said the other day, The Daily Record seems determined to drag this out over the summer. A single incident in a single game is going to be their big talking point and selling point over the next few months. They don’t appear to be alone.

Everyone has gone collectively mad over this.

The fact The Herald is still running stories contradicting the Fir Park decision, when it is now the officially explained version of events, shows you how far down the rabbit hole some of these people are willing to go. And English is Quite Mad by this time; he has gone totally off his nut over this subject.

I have never seen anything like this in all my years covering this game.

This is the most grotesque overreaction to a single decision I have ever witnessed and it comes hot on the heels of a week where the media pushed a grotesque lie about our fans assaulting Hearts players. Taken in its full context, it is phenomenal to see.

This is scorched-earth stuff.

One of the things that astonishes me most is that the governing bodies have come out swinging, but still have not sanctioned anybody. They know this media campaign, to paint the game as corrupt, Celtic fans as dangerous, and Scottish football as some lawless hellhole, is damaging the sport.

They know it. Even then, they will not do what they have to do to defend it. It seems that the only people reacting rationally and calmly to all of this are Celtic supporters.

People will say that comes from being the winners and beneficiaries.

No. It comes from putting facts first. It comes from refusing to accept a narrative based on a tissue of lies. It comes from recognising overreaction when we see it.

The Motherwell penalty has been stripped down to the bare bones. It has been examined from every angle, and every angle shows the same thing.

The ball hit his hand.

First, we were told not to believe our eyes. Then we were told it was not a clear and obvious error, something Collum cleared up by pointing out that the referee missed it on the night, making VAR intervention legitimate. Then they pivoted again to the line that it may have been a handball, but it was not a penalty. Collum dealt with that too and explained why it met the criteria. Then it was: did Auston Trusty move Nicholson’s arm? Then it was: Collum’s comments last night contradict comments he has previously made. Now it is he speed the VAR team arrived at the decision which bothers people.

Because – check this! – Andrew Dallas could not wait to give us the decision. Andrew Dallas. The one whose dad is Hugh Dallas. For whatever reason, he wanted us to win. We are in one Hell of a place where this is what people in the media say happened.

Be honest. When have you ever seen this happen in Scottish football before? When has one decision received this much heat and been pulled apart in this much detail? A referee was threatened over this. He had to have guards around his house overnight.

That is where we have got to. And it is not going to stop. The only thing that might stop it is if the SFA starts banning outlets that continue to push this stuff.

The Herald’s behaviour last night in publishing the Sam Nicholson interview was one of the most underhanded things I have seen in this whole saga. It was cynical and exploitative. It was: look what a nice guy he is. Look what a family man he is. Don’t think too much about the decision. Just think, would this man tell a lie?

Well, as a Motherwell player, as a former Hearts player and as a Hearts supporter, yes, maybe he would. Or maybe he has convinced himself of a version of events that suits him.

But we are not supposed to talk too much about that. We are not supposed to think too much about that. The media does not want us thinking. It does not want us using our brains and our eyes. What else can you call that except a disgrace?

And what a disgrace these people look.

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