Hang on Celtic is this a remake or a repeat ???

Is it just me? Am I the only the only one? Could it be that we’ve seen this movie before they call the transfer window?

Every time I tune in to the transfer window it always seems to draw me in, have me on the edge of my seat with excitement in parts, until near the end and suddenly the plot all becomes clear and you remember you have seen this blockbuster many many times before. As the dawning realisation that this is just another shoddy remake of a previous big budget showing hits it’s almost time to get ready to write the latest bad review for CFC productions.

OK so I might be jumping the gun a little here but I just have the niggling feeling starting to creep in that its going to be another cast of has-beens and wanna-be’s rolling into Lennoxtown rehearsals. No star billing in the shape of Bellamy or Keane, no veteran big name to give one last memorable performance on the big stage and no child star who has already proved themselves in the box office. Instead we seem to be getting the usual cast of bit part actors, guys who have had steady enough careers or looked like they might become household names on lesser shows.

THIS IS NOT WHAT WE WERE LED TO BELIEVE

As we witnessed the trailer for the campaign ahead at the various Q&A’s we were only missing voice-over man to describe the epic battle ahead as the script, self written or not, fell from the directors lips. I feel for Neil Lennon as you can imagine he was promised this that and the other and passed this information on to us fanbhoys with total belief in his own words. We were described a lavish set with with state of the art sound effects with a weather machine that could turn on a 90 minute storm at the flick of a freckled finger. We were described battle scenes that would live long in the memory, performances that would leave us gasping for more. We were told that once some of the big salaries had been moved onto pastures new that we would see money flung at the final line up. The man in charge of the budget told us himself that he would make sure we would be entertained by a bright new vibrant ensemble.

So far the engineers are still working on the special effects and the preview shows with the test audience hasn’t exactly had rave reviews. Ticket sales are not what were hoped for as the buying public hang off to see who appears out the limo and up the green carpet. So far the limo hasn’t even fueled up and the chauffeur is spending his days dreaming of who his next kiss and tell story will be, especially since the rat-packess Aiden has set off to join the Russian ballet in Moscow.

Celtic Football Club still has time to save the day though before the curtain comes up on the season ahead. There is still time to get on the phone to some of those big showbiz agents and negotiate some deals. There is still time to fill the roles that are currently being learned by understudies and students. We don’t want the cast of Glee, we want the cast of Cats straight from Broadway, we don’t want the nobodies from Neighbours, we want the Eastenders in the East end. We don’t want a Channel four production as good as some may be, we want the full Hollywood razzamatazz and glitter.

Give us some heroes Celtic who we’ll chase for autographs like love sick teenagers. Give us names that we will forever remember in song and story, names that will be who the future hoops will need to emulate.

Celtic please just give us some Stars because I can only watch so much of the MON box-sets from the golden age and the almost silentesque reels of Lisbon are so far in the distance they are barely touchable.

Let’s get a few Oscar winners in the door because I can assure you there are thousands getting ready with their boxes of rotten tomatoes.

There is still at least £10 million left in the kitty. SPEND IT

Harper.