Stokesing The Fire

In between writing e-mails to former D:ream keyboard player Professor Brian Cox, who is currently studying the Wonder Of The Universe, to say that it has been proved that a Jabulani ball and a Hampden left-hand post defy the laws of physics, I have been looking at Anthony Stokes relationship with his Dad.

It’s all very Jeremy Kyle.

I have never meet John Stokes but from what I have read over the last few weeks he is – what I would expect – the Irish would term a ‘gobshite‘.

He first came to prominence when his public house, The Players Lounge, hung a ‘hate filled banner‘ (sic) saying that the Queen and her family (sic) are not welcome in the said pub. “I’m just warning her that she won’t get served if she decides to drop in for a drink, to save me the embarrassment of having to tell her if she turns up, because it’s a well-known pub and she might. I don’t believe she has any right coming here whatsoever.” Mr Stokes said about Lizzy’s visit.

The banner, which has now been taken down – hopefully it’s on it’s way to the Gallowgate to get used for the Commonwealth Games – caused a furor in this country. Unsure, why as she is unwelcome in this country by some as she is in Ireland to Mr Stokes.

During Sunday’s forgettable Dryborough/Skol/Coca-Cola/CIS/Diddy Cup Final a journalist from a comic was present in the boozer. Unsure what he was doing there. He was probably looking for some rogue LostBhoys who frequent that pub. The hack got his scoop.

‘CELTIC STAR PUT’S IN TRANSFER REQUEST‘ was the headline, which actually would have been pointless, if he had, as he can’t be sold until June anyway. Let’s not let that little thing get in the way of a great story. The quote that made it was from John Stokes. It said:

“He isn’t going to be at Celtic if he isn’t going to play against Rangers or in the big games. My advice to him is to move from Celtic and put in an immediate transfer request. I think he will because he has told me he wants out.” not much room for misquoting or being lost in translation there.

I hope Stokes Jnr is and was disappointed of being left out the squad. The Tattoed Tincy Terror should feel aggrieved that his far better scoring record is being ignored for a player whose form is as patchy as a cat with alaphesa, who seems to have duped those in charge. Also, he is the closest thing we have to a natural goalscorer outwith our natural natural born goal scorer who is out of form and injured.

Stokes Jnr denied the claim, via Twitter off course. “Don’t know where this story has come from but not exactly the 1st thing u want to see in the morning…simple as this…going NO WHERE!!(sic)” read the tweet somewhat bemusingly as it was very clear where it came from.

John Stokes cleared up the mess by saying he was: “Basically, it’s misquoted by the papers” without clearing up what he actually said. Maybe because he did say the quote. After weeks and weeks in the public eye the adage all publicity is good publicity has become his rule.

The reason I can assume this?

“I’m not going to hang my dad out to dry. He’s said what he’s said but he’s still my dad. muttered our Anthony Stokes. Jeremy Kyle can cancel that lie detector test.

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