The Best Thing About Celtic’s Win Last Night Was The Maniacal Meltdown In Mordor.

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There is one thing better than Celtic winning a game late. Celtic winning a game late in what the residents of the Ibrox asylum believe were controversial circumstances. Last night, not only did the result sent them into spasms of outraged disbelief, with many of them already on Amazon ordering the blue bunting before we’d got the goal, but the nature of it – a second penalty of the game – is what drove them over the edge.

And oh, it was glorious to see them so enraged.

They were furious at Celtic getting the winner. Furious at Hibs not getting two penalty calls. Furious about the ones that we did get. Their fury extended back to the Aberdeen game and decisions we apparently got then too, although we dropped points. It extended, of course, to their own games and decisions they saw as going against them.

No mention of Goldson, funnily enough. But that’s another story, and one I covered already.

It’s been a while since I dipped a toe into their swampy waters; our victory just before New Year in fact. When we have problems inside our own house, they lunacy doesn’t seem quite so amusing, but last night was a special case. I needed cheering up and knew they would be banging their war drums, so I went on to have a look. And it was worth it.

There was a period this season, when our sites were highlighting the penalty issue, and they were calling us every name under the sun and trying to defend Scottish officiating. We knew it wouldn’t last. Scottish officiating is absolutely stinking, but occasionally a referee gets most of the big calls in a game right and last night was one of them … and we can all be glad for it.

Both were penalties. The shocking attempt by Martin Boyle to win one in our box by doing a splendid impersonation of a stag-do drunk leaping into a swimming pool deserved the yellow card which the referee flashed at him. Another incident involving Ralston which they were studying like a recording of an assassination attempt isn’t even worth mentioning; their websites all wanted to add it to what they believed was a clear pattern of assistance.

(I couldn’t resist using that phrase!)

But the only pattern I can discern from all this is the usual one of them losing their tiny minds over a Celtic victory which they had determined before a ball was even kicked that we would not get. The reek of sectarianism off their assertion that it was “fenian officials” who were out there last night really is something that belongs on another planet, not just in another century. They really do dredge the gutter in a way no other football fans on this island can.

Some of it is honestly depraved, and some of it is depraved but also pretty hilarious. The Unseen Hand is always working against them, waging its war. I really wish it would do better business in the transfer market, because it seems very counter-productive to me that it works so hard on other areas but neglects to do anything positive inside our own club.

As pissed off as I felt last night when I wrote my brief after-match report, I cheered up significantly when I saw the mayhem it had unleashed over in La La Land.

It reminds me that our own fans are frustrated at the right targets for once – the backing they gave the team last night was exceptional.

But when things start going wrong over there it will go bad quickly and their version of bad makes ours look modest. And when it will come – it will; it always comes – they will scorch the earth around them and everything on it. What a sight to see it will be.

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  • Roonsa says:

    Their master race WATP claptrap. The way they refer to their perceived betters as “Mr So and So”. Their cheap “point scoring” over child abuse (whilst, at the same time, not bothering to look in-house on that particular subject). Their judgement of people because of their second name or what school they went to. Their espousal of “Protestant” values when, in fact, what they really care about is intolerance towards Catholics, especially those of Irish heritage. Their cap doffing servility when referencing our rancid head of state and his (extended) scrounging family. The fact that they refuse to accept that Rangers died in 2012 and what they are watching now is a zombie tribute act.

    That’s just a few of the many, many reasons that I despise every single one of them.

  • Gerry says:

    Their cries and sense of outrage are always a pleasure to hear about. Although huge swathes of our support are angry about our displays, and many are fearful about our ability to retain this title, fan expectation and reaction, will never come close to that mob. Statement FC‘s supporters can always do meltdown in a unique and irrational manner.
    I may be in the minority that believes we shall win this title…and the feelings will probably be relief rather than euphoria!
    Let us collectively hope, we get our act together, very quickly, and conversely their meltdown continues !

  • Woodyiom says:

    Andrew Dallas was on VAR – do they think he’s on OUR side FFS? Are they really that stupid?

  • Stewart says:

    It’s not only mordor,,, back pages are full of it,,they know they are playing shit like us but that’s because they know ats their limit at mo,, if we find our feet and I sincerely hope so soon,, we’ll batter em,as for pens they were pens,,, normaly we don’t get some of those desision,,, nice change,they win a game like that it screams out mark of champions,,, we do it we’re struggling,, strange that,

  • Brian says:

    It may well come.but if we don’t find some decent form it won’t be this season! It will be George square that gets their wrath once again.

  • John McGuigan says:

    Surprised the ref was asked to take a look for our second penalty considering who was on var duty last night.

  • Effarr says:

    The only problem is that it might take years now to come for them.

  • Anthony Mcquade says:

    While agreeing with your comments it is sad for our club that those idiots are even remotely close to us .
    They should have been miles behind us for years and years .
    However the philosophy of ,we shall have our dividends every year , we shall sell our best players every year and we shall not sign any quality player as they cost real money has come back to bite us on the arse !

  • Sid says:

    Did you notice James that Nick Walsh wasn’t giving either penalty? Its like they have a policy of not awarding the penalty until VAR has okd it. The cheating is absolutely rife.

    • Clachnacuddin and the Hoops says:

      The cheating is rife indeed Sid…

      That Dallas gave them both shows they were penalties for certain –

      Even Mental Miller on Sportscene said they were spot kicks…

      And yes indeed – Swallow Swallow was really good schadenfreude !

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