It has been a long time – it has been too long – since this site did a Keith Jackass article, and this isn’t because his output hasn’t deserved it. In fact, his coverage has been as embarrassing as ever and is suitable only for the most outright mockery.
But of course, that’s part of the problem, isn’t it? How do you spoof someone who so regularly produces stuff than when you read it makes you absolutely sure that it is a spoof you’re reading already? Today he has absolutely outdone himself.
Keith Jackson has written a piece on the title race where he has awarded them the three points for the Dundee game; you know, the one that has just been postponed. I am not joking. And what’s more, he thinks today is tomorrow. Just when you thought the age of the tabloid fortune tellers was over and done with, Jackson steps up to the plate.
This is what the relevant paragraph in the article says;
“The Celtic boss is locked in a nail-biting two-way fight for the a championship for the first time since he was pipped to the Premier League on the final day by Manchester City during his time in charge at Anfield. (The Ibrox club) reclaimed pole position at Dens Park last night when they won their game in hand to open a two-point lead with just six games remaining.”
That’s actually there, on The Daily Record website right now. And just in case it isn’t there should you happen to go and look for yourself, I’ve screenshotted it for you.
That’s actually toe-curling.
Dundee might as well not bother taking part in the match; Jackson has the points already secured and the Ibrox club back on top of the table.
If he’s doing predictions I want to know who wins the US Presidential election; I’ll sleep better if he publishes the result for me and save me a long night of anxiety watching it.
How can you take a newspaper seriously which is so lacking in editorial quality control that it allows something like that to go up unscrutinised? Why is Jackson commenting on the implications of results of games which haven’t been played yet?
Why should we have the slightest respect for an outlet which does that, or a journalist who writes such a stone stupid thing and then publishes it?
In reality – that thing he might have read about in the papers or seen out of his window – Celtic will go into the weekend still sitting atop the table and with a chance to go four points clear. But reality and Jackson always have had at best only a nodding acquaintance with each other.
It is high time I posted another Jackass piece.
He’s begging for it now doing stuff like this.
Apart from anything else, it’s an absolute insult to Dundee that he would write that and post it. The arrogance of everyone concerned with that club right now is breathtaking.
C’mon, the guys a professional. Wish he would tell us who the winner of Saturdays grand national is. When ah go in once a year and put a wee punt on that race, they now hand me my line already ripped up.
So glad you caught a screenshot of this because I checked and its now been edited.
They have edited it now
WTF! Surely it must be game over at the Record for this buffoon after this. The paper is a laughing stock. Is the editor aware of this?
James are you joshin’?
it is long past time they were all banned from celtic park.
I think the past tense for the verb screenshot should be screenshat instead of screenshotted which sounds clunky.
They have just updated it just after 6pm absolute clowns that rag
Hey ,Mr Inaction , do you think you could give me the 6 winning numbers for tonight’s lotto draw ? You big soothsayer ..you !
Just sums up action Jackson, probably wanted a night on the lash , lazy reporting from the Kris Boyd of journalism.
This postponement at Dundee is a Godsend to them, it has wiped the assault on John Kennedy and attempted bottle assault on Matt O’Riley off the news, although the BBC had already done that with their sudden coverage of the ongoing legal action on damages against Celtic FC because of historical criminal acts by Celtic BC coaches.
Forget about the criminal acts by The Rangers FC supporters on Sunday, as far as the Scottish media is concerned it didn’t happen.
Dundee FC are to be crucified for not keeping their pitch up to scratch but The Rangers FC are not to be called out on the continuing violence and attempted violence against Celtic Players, Coaching Staff and Supporters over the past three seasons.
The double standards on the way Sport and Politics are reported by the Scottish Media make me sick.
PS That eejit Keevins on SSB tonight spewing rubbish about how bad Rangers are being treated by the SPFL and Dundee, not a word on the disgraceful behaviour of the Rangers fans on Sunday. If it was Celtic fans that had continually behaved like that, the media would be continually crying out for ground closures, loss of points etc. I know,I know my own fault for tuning in to that love in with The Rangers, switched off after 20 mins , all I could stomach.
Shocking ,unprofessional, unheard-of, I was ging to say boycott the DR but everyone has lol
Next headline will be SPFL award team from ibrox 3 points due to Dundee game being postponed too many times
I actually seen it myself about 4 o’clock but it’s been redone to amend it, tbh do we really expect anything else from this scrotum that paper has absolutely no credibility the sooner it closes the better
I stated in an earlier thread today that…
The Daily Record is only fit for…
UTTERLY DESPERATELY AND POORLY EDUCATED MEN, WOMEN & CHILDREN…
I rest my case M’Lord !!!
Who gives two monkeys what Jackson thinks or says ,he,s as much of a clown and DOB as his counterpart Boyd ,they achieved nothing in life they know nothing other the mason handshake (usually each others 3rd leg ) they,re just mouthpieces for the ipoxy hierarchy ass lickers for them all
He probably wrote the article from the Press Bar while half scooped. The man is a reporting dinosaur.