SPL In Crisis: Bye, Bye Badman. We Need A Hero Step Forward Turnball Hutton.

The first bit of this blog title is a song by The Stone Roses, who are playing in Scotland tomorrow night for the first time since 1994 and could very likely see this author have another very public show of emotion not seen outside family events since a certain Mr Larsson caused me to get something in my eye in 2004.

The song is about the French student riots in 1968 and the band were well known for their fixation with Situationist International. Very apt as the decision that the SPL chairmen came to was very revolutionary and had some quivering about our very own football Arab Spring.

Off course that is complete and utter bullcrap but if it keeps the keyboard warriors happy and gives them a sense of importance then so be it.

The biggest jaw drop of the week was that wide held opinion that Neil Doncaster would be addressing a room full of an assortment of dunderheaded, blubbering, clungebuckets not seen MTV’s Geordie Shore audtions was so far wide of the mark that it was in a different postcode.

The last ditch attempts to salvage Newcos place at the top table by dressing in womens clothing and calling it Rangers were ignored and the vote was overwhelming. We were told that travestite Rangers hadn’t committed war crimes in a distressed attempt to compare the crime of a dead club to real life and add credence to the hyberbole that the vote brought.

Yes, correct. Hitler and Pol Pot committed atrocities on a grand scale. So off course Rangers haven’t done anything on that scale. In sporting terms, which is what this sham is being played out in, their crime is nearly as serious as it comes.

Think somewhere between beating hundreds of baby seals – all big eyed and white, soft, tender fur – to death with a big stick and defrauding pensioners out of their credit union savings while making a living selling cut and shunt cars.

“I’m throwing stones at you and I want you black and blue” is a line in Bye Bye Badman. The SPL vote was not a case of them wanting to punish Rangers for selling a dodgy Lexus, while gambling away Auld Betty’s pension. They were not punishing them.

They were telling a new club that they weren’t wanted. The much maligned ‘Sporting Integrity’ which when it’s said seemingly needs to be sneered like a gutter punk and not deftly and tunefully emitted was the winner but really it was the only option.

The day before the vote saw Neil Doncaster and Stuart Regan present their will that the New Club are put in Division 1 for commercial reasons. Neil Doncaster did a powerpoint presentation that basically should confirm his P45 and attempted to threaten guys like Raith chairmen Turnball Hutton.

It must have been as frightening as an attempted mugging by a womble with a toothbrush.

Turnball, is now John Rambo, John McLean, Superman, Batman and all the Ghostbusters rolled into one. He addressed the press pack on the steps of Hampden as if they were a group of neds swinging on his front fence.

We really should pay his fine when the SFA charge him with bringing the game into disrupted. He was only really attacking a burglar who was ransacking his house.

Doncaster admitted that the Tv Deal that he struck meant that two teams couldn’t be relegated and if one did go down a league that the powers that be would ensure that they would only be away from the top table for a year.

Did Sky/ESPN also steal Doncaster’s lunch money and super rail saver during negotiations? The deal is rubbish as superbly highlighted in this BLOG.

This was actively and eagerly backed up by Regan who hinted that the SPL vote will be ignored and the New Club crowbarred into Division 1.

The game in Scotland is being run by the flowerpot men.

I remember sitting down every Saturday lunchtime watching World Of Sport with Dickie Davis. They would show wrestling from Runcorn and other exotic places. Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks always had to fight each other. We are in that situation now.

Is that league really worth saving? The league is that body laying on the road after a traffic accident. The paramedics need to make a decision.

There seems to be an anger and misplaced belief that this shoe horning of the game wouldn’t happen anywhere else in the world. That EUFA won’t stand for it. Your unenlightened if you believe that.

Juventus committed the biggest crime in the football world. Relegated one division when they really should have been booted out the game. Fiorentina were liquidadated, reformed and started again in Serie C2. They won promotion to Serie C but never played there. They were promoted on ‘Sporting Merit’ to Serie B after reconstruction of that league.

This season Turkey changed their rules on match fixing punishments after it was feared that half the Turkish top flight could be relegated.

I’m going to give the flowerpot men this for free. This idea should satisfy the need that the new club start at the bottom, that the whole game needs changed but then gives the New Club the opportunity to get back into the top flight at an early opportunity.

Next season the New Club play in the 3rd Division. While they do this reconstruct the leagues to two of 14 with a regional pyramid system below those 28 teams. The New Club then wins promotion (sic) on Sporting Merit to the new 28 team Scottish Professional Football League (SPFL). Then sell the SPFL deal to whoever wants it for what it’s worth in real money and not monopoly notes.

I would be happy with that rather than the current hamfisted attempt at corruption.