Coronation Street And Conspiracies: The Media In Excellent Form Tonight

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Tonight the media is in excellent form, so much so that I have a feeling the readers and listeners of Scotland’s media are actually being trolled.

Tonight I’ve heard one “Celtic should be scared of this …” theory which is so idiotic it wouldn’t get on a blog and I’ve read a tweet that sounds like the writer is applying for a slot on this particular blog. Both are interesting in their own way.

Let’s start with Hugh Keevins’ and his idiotic theory, that Celtic fans should be concerned about the future of Scott Sinclair, and whether he’ll stay at our club. He reckons Sinclair’s girlfriend, Helen Flanagan, getting a new contract for Coronation Street could spell disaster for us because it means the two will be apart.

First, they’d have been apart whether she was on the Coronation Street cast or not; their family home is in Cheshire. It took me less than two minutes to find that out, about as long as it took for the idea to fully form in Keevins’ stupid head and pop out of his mouth.

This is a couple who’ve been together since 2009.

Just after they met he moved to Swansea. They survived. For three years. His move to Manchester City kept them together, but it didn’t stop him moving to the Birmingham area, first with West Brom and then with Aston Villa. For three more years.

I would suggest these two are used to time apart. They can deal with it. Cause they are adults, and adults can handle these things. They don’t clutch to each other’s legs like children. A lot of us have been in long distance relationships; Glasgow to Manchester is an hour on a plane. He could commute every day if he wanted to, and be in his own bed every night. As it goes, she drives up here every weekend. How do we know? She said so herself.

I can’t actually believe I’m addressing such a ludicrous point, but this is what you are forced to do when confronted with such utter fookwittery. Keevins is, and has always been, a complete moron and it’s no surprise to hear him come out with such clear-cut garbage.

He described the point as “thought provoking.” The only thought it provoked was “Does this guy really get paid for this kind of guff?”

And he’s not the only one sniffing at the Crazy Glue tonight.

Here’s a tweet from Keith Jackson:

I couldn’t resist extending him an invite on the back of it; if he sends me his conspiracy theory I’ll be happy to publish it, either here or on ReLoaded!

As it turns out, although this sounds ridiculous he actually has a point and it dawned on me when I read last night that McParland was thinking of chucking it. Why would he? Why would he walk without a pay-off? It doesn’t sound likely.

But Dark Arts?

I’m interested in that phrase. I’d like to know what that particular expression refers to in this case, and I hope he’s going to elaborate on it. Is he suggesting that a rival publication has made it up? To do what? Unsettle the club? Is he suggesting McParland’s own people are putting it about? For what purpose? Is he suggesting it came from the club? To do what? Force their own employee out? How would suggesting he was on the verge of quitting do that?

I realise we give certain PR firms a hard time around here, but if they are involved in this – if it’s that kind of Dark Art – then I’m a bit baffled about what they are trying to accomplish, and the club ought to ask for clarification or their money back.

McParland’s job performance has been questioned by the Ibrox board. Is it crazy to suggest that he’s leaked it to the press that he’s thinking of quitting over it? That he’s done it to get the manager’s public backing, which he gave today? That’s pretty heavy, is it not? It also suggests that he’s not good at taking criticism. Warburton should tell him to man up, just as he did with Rob Kiernan the other day. Too many whiners at Ibrox, too many lily livers.

Not that I’m trying to stir it or anything … I just find this fascinating.

I look forward to reading Keith’s conspiracy theory in more detail, whether on one of our blogs (haha) or in his column.

Yes, I will brave that for my fellow fans, and bring you a report back!

The things I do for this site …

ReLoaded Digital is my new website, guys, run by myself and a team who want to build one of the best, most diverse, most interesting sites online. You can check it out now at this link.

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