Hugh Keevins. Your favourite. My favourite.
But only if you needed something to wipe your backside with and his column was lying on the bathroom floor and there was no toilet paper left anywhere within range or reach.
He was at it again on the radio the other day, doing his level business to drive down the national average IQ, as the Born Celtic website pointed out.
His comments, on Mick The Mooch, and “the completely transformed” team that will emerge from Ibrox are absurd, and will almost certainly come back to haunt him in a big way before very long. He said much the same stuff about Van Bronckhorst.
“I think (they) will come back completely transformed under Michael (The Mooch) Beale. And they have to translate that into league points. But there’ll be no more defeats at Perth, there will be no more draws at Paisley.”
He then goes on to lay this pearl of wisdom on us.
“I do not think that will be the case under (The Mooch). I mean, traditionally, of course, you might struggle at Aberdeen or they might struggle at Hearts. Certainly at Celtic Park, but I don’t think there’ll be any of the carelessness that marked the first 15 games of the season.”
So, The Mooch and his team will do just fine, he says.
Except at Pittodrie. Or Tynecastle. Or Celtic Park. Talk about being damned with faint praise. So only against three teams out of 11 … that won’t win many trophies.
But it’s this arrogant presumption that they have nothing to worry about anywhere else, which I know by the way The Mooch entirely believes, that sets Keevins up to be made an absolute mug of. We’ll be holding those comments in the memory bubble, and when the time comes he is certainly going to be made to eat them.
It’s worth noting that they’ve got both Pittodrie and Tynecastle to come, with the visit to Aberdeen up in a few shorts weeks and the visit to Edinburgh on 1 February.
You can decide if he’s getting in their excuses for those games, and himself, in advance.