What a great story came our way today. I’m not kidding, it’s brilliant.
It’s the story of Giovanni Van Bronckhorst’s new job.
It’s not in football though, as you might expect. Instead, he’s been named as the Fashion Brand Ambassador for Blue Rivet, whatever the Hell that means. I’m sure it pays well, but it’s quite the comedown for the guy.
At the same time, Steven Gerrard is managing over in the footballing backwater of Saudi Arabia because no club in England wants him.
That has as much to do with his failure at Villa as with the broad sweep of his time in Scotland, but few people south of the border were genuinely impressed by his time up here and the COVID Title he won.
And then there’s The Mooch; he’s linked with the vacant job at Millwall.
Oh, I hope he gets it, that job will suit him right down to the ground.
He is used to managing a club with rabid fans, so he’ll be right at home until they find out he can’t actually coach worth a damn and then that reputation too will shatter into a billion fragmentary pieces.
This is what we do to former Ibrox managers.
We annihilate their reputations.
They come here all full of swagger and we send them away with their careers in ruins.
Gerrard was lucky; by virtue of a famous name he sold himself to an English club craving bling. But McCoist hasn’t worked in management since we dispatched him, Caixinha will never coach in Europe now, Warburton went to Forest from Ibrox but his career never really recovered from the devastation wrought on him from his time there. When he left QPR it was The Mooch who took his job.
He hasn’t been a manager since. When that clown is favoured above you that’s bad.
He was once tipped as a “future England boss.” I don’t see any sign at all that he’s going to be, do you? That club is a graveyard for careers.
Celtic managers, on the other hand, tend to do well.
Lennon hasn’t but then that’s because out of all the clubs on the planet, only one – ours – ever thought he was a top boss in the first place.
Ronny Deila has been a notable success; after leaving the club he became a title winner in the States, emulating Ange in winning trophies on more than one continent and in three different nations.
Ange sits proudly at the top of the English Premier League with Spurs.
Rodgers, of course, went to Leicester where he won an FA Cup. Not exactly a disaster. He’s come home at the right time and currently has a seven-point lead.
Our managers go on to good things, with two of them having left us for the Premiership. Ibrox bosses go on to market clothes and prop up corrupt governments with blood on their hands, and that’s just those who are lucky enough to be in employment at the present time, which isn’t all of them.
Phillipe Clement should take note.
Without that famous name, his next destination is unlikely to be the EPL.
More likely, it’s some death march through the world of punditry before being snapped up by some struggling battler who needs a quick fix, or to that big money deal he was able to turn down in Saudi this time because he knew it’d still be there in 12 months.
But this really could be it.
This really could be the high point for him on nothing but a long way down.
It’s too late now for him to look at the fate of Van Bronckhorst and learn from it. The time for that was before he signed the deal.